Big Clash in the Small Town

Jiang could hear the war cries of the villiage militia as he approached the outskirts, the clash of steel against steel ringing in the air. Through the cover of trees, he could see bandits, fighting with a ferocity of a dragon. No doubt they were as greedy as one too. Why else would they bother the tiny little village of Chin’an otherwise?

As Ning and Yin caught up to him, Jiang signaled Ning to come closer and asked, “Scout ahead for me, will ya? We need to know how many there are and if any of them got torches.”

“So that we can stop ‘em from setting the whole place on fire, right?” Ning asked, though she hardly waited for an answer as her head detached. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”

Jiang watched her head zoom up into the skies, then turned his attention to Yin. “And you? I’m gonna need you to throw me in.”

“Oooh, we’re givin’ them the BOOT now, are we?” Yin said with a smirk. “Of course, of course!” His smirk faded a bit, tinged with a bit of worry as he asked, “Although, your townsfolk won’t shoot us down once the battle’s over, will they? We are still monsters, after all.”

“I’ll call ‘em off before they try anything. They’ll understand, long as you guys don’t’ try to eat ‘em.”

Yin huffed, grabbing Jiang by the collar of his shirt as he said, “What do you take me for, some two-bit starved lion? I have preferences, you know!”

Ning’s head flew back over and spun in place, a spark of excitement in her eyes. “No torches anywhere, Boss!” she said, her body drawing her bow and nocking an arrow as she spoke. “We’re outnumbered, but that’s not gonna stop us! I’m ready to go!”

Jiang smirked. “Course it won’t! Ning, you’ll go ahead and disable any bandit you shoot. And Ying… You know exactly what to do.”

“The usual, of course! Now, where should I throw you?”

He looked over to a gaggle of bandits harassing one particular mage girl, one who was more than eager to fry them up like a chicken. Maybe she was holding her own well, but more were starting to gang up on her as they noticed she was the real threat. With a devilish grin, Jiang pointed at them.

That was all Yin needed to know before he lifted his paw up for the pitch and threw Jiang into the fray, his boot connecting squarely with a bandit’s face. The bandit let out a tiny yelp, his friends stopping their assault to oggle at whoever the hell came to ruin their fun. Not that they got an answer from Jiang, unless punches to the face count.

The mage girl looked up and saw Jiang beside her, then huffed as she said, “Took you long enough, Muscles! Where the hell have you been?”

As he elbowed a bandit in the gut, Jiang snapped back, “What, I save your ass and this is how you greet me, Yijun?”

Another bandit thought to bring an axe down on his head, but Yijun snapped her fingers and zapped him with a bolt of lighting, though she saved her glare for Jiang. “Excuse me?! I’d be more thankful if you came here earlier! I actually chipped a nail from knocking one of these goons off of me!”

“You’re more concerned about your damn nail than you are about everyone else?”

“They need to be immaculate in time for Lady Zheng’s ball! How else will I get a handsome prince to pay attention to me?”

“Yijun, they’d lose interest the moment you send them to fight a damn dragon for some bracelet you wanna wear!”

As the two bickered, one bandit loomed over them, axe raised high. “Ha, just like lovebirds to let your guard down during-” he started, only to get a knee to the gut, a fireball to the face, and a mighty blow to his ego as he collapsed like a bag of bricks.

“Who the hell are you calling a lovebird?” growled Jiang.

“And who said our guard was down, you dumbass?” snapped Yijun, waggling her finger at the unconscious bandit. She huffed, flicking her long strands of hair back as she said, “Seriously, who do you think you are?” She glanced over at Jiang, her face turning several shades of white as she asked, “And where the hell is your axe? I thought you brought it with you everywhere!”

Jiang would have answered if he wasn’t busy prying an axe from the bandit’s cold, unconscious hands. “I forgot it,” he replied bluntly, feeling the heft of his new weapon and testing it on a poor bandit who was a living pincushion after Ning was done with him. Yijun opened her mouth, pointing angrily at him, then closed it as she realized there wasn’t any use arguing, least of all during a raid.

Even if the numbers weren’t bolstered by Jiang and crew’s arrival, things quickly turned sour for the bandits. Between Jiang chopping them down, Ning pelting them with arrows, Yijun blasting them with sharp windblades and fire, and Yin leaping in and clawing them down, their morale dropped like a rock. Some tried to retreat, though most found themselves stuck in pitfalls prepared by the village children. Others tried their best to keep them away and beat them down, but for every blow they inflicted upon them, Jiang was sure to deal just as much damage back, if not more. The village militia followed suit with spears and swords, bringing down whatever bandits that Jiang and friends didn’t finish off.

With their numbers thinning out, the rowdy bandits were running out of options. How could they win when they had youkai, a witch, and a demon of a man fighting against them? Jiang grinned, confident that this would be over before they knew it-

“EEP!”

He turned his head towards the noise after clonking a bandit with the blunt side of his axe. Of course it was another bandit, but this one had all the markings of the leader: much taller, much more composed, a smug look on his face to rival Yijun’s... and the goonies around him all had wicked grins, defenseless townspeople struggling in their grip.

The big bandit chuckled, casually raising a hand as he said, “You sure got ahead of yourselves, thinking you had everything all tidied up. How cute! Didn’t think we’d pull a trick like this, now did you?” Yin spotted him and prepared to pounce, but quickly, the bandits drew blades, pressing them against their captives’ necks. The leader waggled a finger, his smugness intensifying to the point where Jiang really wanted to smash his axe right in his face. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he warned. “Unless you really want those poor kiddos to be without a ma and da, eh?”

Yijun’s eyes blazed with pure hatred, her hands glowing with a fiery power as she snapped, “How dare you! I swear, if you hurt them, I’ll turn all of you to ashes, you hear me?!?”

The captives shrieked as the blades were pressed ever harder on their neck, the boss bandit shaking his head. “You don’t get it, do ya? Fine, let me spell it out to ya.” He pointed angrily down at the hesitant group and said, “Drop your weapons, and give us all the treasure you got. That’s the only way out of this little situation you got yourself in.”

Jiang glared hatefully back at the bandit. Like they’d actually hold up their end of the bargain, he thought. They killed anyone and everyone who could fight back in that other town. They’ll just kill us once our guard’s down. From the corner of his eye, he saw Ning look over at him with a glare of her own: When the hell could she shoot him down? He didn’t have an answer, not one that would end well.

With heavy hearts, the militia dropped their weapons and backed away, hoping that it would be enough to spare their kinsmen. Yin huffed, taking a few steps back, but never taking his eyes off of the leader. Ning threw her bow down and groaned, crossing her arms like a toddler throwing a fit. The only ones that didn’t back down were Jiang and Yijun, both as fixated on the leader as Yang was.

The leader noticed and yelled, “Didn’t you hear me? Or maybe you’re just deaf? Drop your weapons and get the goods, or these poor folk’ll get it!”

Yijun ignored him and turned towards Jiang and snapped, “We can’t just do what they say! We have to do something!”

But what the hell can we do that won’t get us all killed? Jiang dug through his mind for an answer, but all he could do was glance over at the river. With grit teeth, he loosened his grip on his axe, his weapon falling on the ground with a THUD as he held his hands up. Yijun’s eyes widened with shock, but what could she do but extinguish the flames around her hands and watch as her own kinsmen brought out the treasures they held most dear?

Soon, a mound of gold and gems sat in front of the bandits, glimmering in the morning sun. As they ran their filthy hands over it, Jiang’s blood boiled. Those were the town’s earnings, the town’s hard earned gold, the town’s treasure, and they were drooling over it and fondling it as if it were their own. The big bandit smirked, grabbing a piece of gold in the pile and inspecting it with glee. “Oho, we shoulda did this earlier!” he said with a laugh. “Woulda been less effort than fighting our way through that town! And now…” A snap of his fingers, and all the bandits with free hands drew their weapons and held them high. “We don’t need you anymore.”

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the militia hurried to get their weapons before it was too late. The captives surely felt the call of death as the bandits prepared to cut their heads. In this very moment, Jiang prayed, prayed that something, someone would help them. And if God wasn’t willing to give him that, then he prayed that he could drag the rest of these bandits straight to hell with him.

And in that moment, God responded to his prayer… with something huge coming out of the river, a shower of icicles raining down upon the bandits, those with captives too busy scrambling out of the way to worry about holding onto those villagers. As for the big bandit himself, he probably wasn’t expecting to get some fish ass in his face.

With an opening before them, the militia focused more on getting their weapons and routing the enemy than the fact that a mermaid just casually appeared and kicked ass. Jiang, on the other hand, was absolutely estatic that his best friend pulled through in a pinch.

Kailani waved at him and flopped over, saluting him as best she could as she said, “Hiya, Jiang! Sorry I’m late! Guess I missed the signal, huh?”

He waved her off, rushing in to hug her as he replied, “Don’t worry about it! That was AMAZING! You’re just… Holy shit!”

“Boss, that’s a rude thing to say to a lady!” Ning said as she detached her head and headbutted a bandit, leaving her body to shoot down any of them coming too close to her. “Don’t call her shit! Call her something like ‘Holy Empress of Awesome’!”

Kailani giggled and smiled back at Ning, replying with, “Nah, that’s a mouthful! Kailani’s just fine! Maybe Kai will work, though!”

Jiang wasn’t sure if Yin’s roar was of approval or just because he wanted to scare the piss out of some bandits. Maybe both? Either way, he said, “Kai it is! Now then, how about we put some bandits to rest, huh?”

Before Kai could speak, Yijun jumped in, eyes wide with wonder as she said, “How about instead, you explain to me how the hell you met a mermaid?”

“How about we talk about that later and kick some butt first?” Kailani said before Jiang could snap right back at Yijun. “Then we can all gather around the river for story time!”

Yijun still stared at Jiang, more with genuine surprise than with jealousy, but after he moved on to punch a bandit and grab the nearest axe, she decided it was worth it to just fry up some more enemies. With a mermaid dishing up water attacks alongside the group, there were hardly any bandits to worry about. Most were put to rout, while some did manage to escape. It wasn’t too long before the whole village could hear cries of victory ring in the air.

Satisfied with a job well done, Kailani smiled upon everyone and said, “We finally did it! Your home’s safe at last! Sorry I couldn’t help sooner, but really, all of you guys put in the effort to make it happen!”

Ning stood up, grabbing her head and screwing it back on before she replied with a grin, “Hey, you’re the one who came in at the last minute to save us! Give yourself some credit, Kai-kai!”

“But who was shooting those bandits in the knees to keep them from going anywhere, huh?” Kailani replied with a grin of her own. “Huh? Because it wasn’t me, last I checked!”

“Well, I wasn’t shooting icicles and doing cool magic things so HA!” Ning pointed trimphantly at the mermaid, her cape and hair flapping in the wind. “You’re the best, not me!”

Yijun stepped in, flicking her hair back as she added, “Oh, but what about me? I was the one who was doing all the hard work before you guys got here! I’m truly the best there is, no?”

Ning stared at her with her one good eye, then shrugged. “Eeeh, you were okay, I guess.”

“Argh, why you…!” Yijun glared at her, hands glowing with fiery energy as Ning whistled innocently and Kailani simply laughed it off. Yin watched carefully, wary of the villagers that were looking at him, though Jiang held up his hand to let them know the Chimera wasn’t there to hurt them. When it was safe, Yang shifted into his more humanoid form, smiling as bright as the sun.

“Well, all’s well that ends well, doesn’t it, Boss?” he asked as Jiang stretched out and let out a yawn.

“Sure does. Man, this calls for some good food… Maybe I should whip some up?”

“Make sure to make a big batch, then. I’m sure the whole village is starving after that one!”

Jiang almost considered doing so, but he saw something move from the corner of his eye.

“Everything was going SO well…”

No, someone. Jiang gripped his axe tightly, a serious look creeping on his face.

“It was all perfect, perfect I tell you… and then you… You RUINED it!”

Big Bad Boss Bandit raised his axe up high as he loomed over Kailani, eyes filled with rage.

“DI-”

His rage turned to shock as Jiang leaped and jammed his axe into the back of the bandit’s head. Ning shoved Kailani out of the way, drawing daggers just in case… but it was hardly necessary now as the bandit collapsed at her feet.

 Ning sighed, slumping in place as she said, “Steal my thunder, will ya, Boss? I was gonna be cool and save Kai-kai, you know!” Maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea to look at her with that grim look on his face, because the next thing she said was, “Also, you kinda look like a demon and that’s preeeetty scarry, Boss man.”

“I, uh, um… sorry?” Jiang replied, unsure of how to take any of that. “Just that, uh, she’s kind of… Well…”

Kailani smiled at him, sending his heart and thoughts all aflutter. “Looks like one good deed gets another! Though…” Her cheer quickly turned to worry as she asked, “You took a lot of blows back there, too.” She certainly wasn’t wrong. Jiang was bruised, with quite a few minor wounds all over him. He was going to shrug it off and sleep it off, but Kailani approached him, webbed hand outstretched and glowing with a gentle energy. She laid her hands on his and he felt a tingle in his fingers, running through his arm and spreading through his whole body. The fatigue and pain he felt from the wounds he sustained faded away, leaving him as if he had never fought at all.

Jiang was at an absolute loss for words, staring at Kailani as she replied, “And that’s your thank you gift! Now, could you help bring the wounded over to me? I need to heal them up too. They must be exhausted.”

He wasn’t about to argue with her after a miracle like that. Together, Jiang and his friends lined up the wounded, Kailani taking the time to heal each and every one of them with every ounce of magic she had. Even Yijun seemed eager to help, shoving a soldier into line who was reluctant to admit he was even hurt. Now, more than ever, Jiang was sure thing were going to be fine.

When he had a chance, he walked into the cover of the forest, signalling Yang and Ning to follow suit. “Guys,” he said, “you did good work today and… Well…” He smiled a bit, placing a hand on the back of his head as he continued, “Thanks. You did a lot for me and my village, and I really appreciate it.”

“Anything for our favorite boss!” Yin said with a laugh, patting Jiang on the back with his massive paw. His smile faded a bit, however, as he said, “Although… Maybe we should see if we can find the hideout. I could sniff them out with my wife and see if we can pinpoint where they are.”

Ning nodded and added, “Yeah, and if their big, big boss hears about their loss here, they might come back with a bigger force! We gotta take the fight to them take ‘em out while they’re still weak!”

“I… I’d rather you guys relax first,” Jiang admitted, looking away from them for just a moment. “And we still don’t have much of a lead…”

“Well, those guys might have the same sorta scent. Ya know, the dirty boss bandit scent?” Jiang stared blankly at Ning, who waved franticly and said, “I wasn’t talking about you, Boss! At least you bathe! They probably don’t know what bathing is!”

“And if all else fails,” Yin pointed out, “we can simply follow the trail of the Royal Guard. Where they gather, there must be a threat. And one of those threats might be bandits!”

“Probably, though I wouldn’t risk it.” Jiang looked back at the village, watching Kailani work her magic for a bit before he turned back to his friends and said, “Either way, we can talk about it more later. I’m gonna see what’s up with Kailani.” An idea came to mind, eyes shining bright as he asked them, “Do you wanna meet her proper? I was thinking we could actually sit down around Lake Chin’an and have a picnic together. I mean, fighting bandits is no way to meet a mermaid, is it?”

“Well, I think it’s a perfect way to meet a mermaid! I won’t say no to free food though!”

“And I wouldn’t mind getting out of my cave to meet her. It’s getting a little stuffy in there!” Yin chuckled a bit, then turned to head home with Ning. “It’s a deal! Tell us when, and we’ll be there! Until next time, our dear boss!”

Jiang grinned at them and waved back before he returned to his own town, content with how things played out. Though now, he would have to explain just how he met Kailani to Yijun. That was going to be a doozy and a half.

But… in the back of his mind, he thought of Tao. Something about this incident struck him as being something Tao would do…

…But it wasn’t, was it?

Chatter Among Planeswardens

“And listen, listen! I finally got the scoop on the Council’s latest plans!”

Among the crowds at the cafeteria, in between fights with the Omnisoda machine and the ice cream machine, Hiroki couldn’t help but mop the floors a little closer to the gaggle of rank and file Planeswardens huddling up and chattering among themselves. Sure, he could pay attention to someone putting a bit of every soda in their cup to create the legendary Omnisoda… Or maybe worry about that one guy lifting a vending machine in an attempt to get free Cheetos. However, he didn’t really get much of a chance to learn about the Planeswardens inner workings aside from people spilling the beans during break time.

“Sooooo,” said a girl with a head of a parakeet, flapping her wings excitedly as she brought her two friends together. “I heard a lot of things, you know! And one of those things I heard was about The Council finding a pilot for that weird dog robot we fought a few years ago!”

One of her friends, a bulky man with the horns of a ram, backed off, eyes wide with fear. “Y-you mean they’re actually going to shove one of us in Fenrir? What in the world are they thinking?! I hope I’m not chosen or anything!”

The girl beside him, one with several spidery eyes, placed a long, willowy finger on Ram man’s lips and hissed, “Shush, you! Nobody else is supposed to know this!” All of her eyes turned towards the parakeet girl as she asked, “And? What else is there to this, Yanda?”

Yanda’s beady eyes lit up as she leaned in closer and closer, enough that Hiroki had to stay much closer than he was comfortable with to hear what she was saying. “Iii heard that there’s a whole bunch of candidates, most of them picked by Ivan! Some, Aurelis picked… and then there’s whatever wild card Duer has in mind!”

Spider girl tilted her head to the side, her finger sliding down Ram man’s chin. “A wild card? How strange. Why would they need a wild card when Fenrir itself is a wild card? We don’t know how they’ll react with a new pilot, especially after awakening.”

“B-besides,” Ram man added with a large frown, “can we really trust Duer? I mean, his sect messed up big time a few years ago… Earth Planeswardens aren’t exactly, well, you know..”

Quickly, Yanda turned her head towards him, puffing her feathers up so she was much, much larger than him as she screeched, “Are you telling me they aren’t reliable? Huh? Is that it? Over one incident? Excuse me? You haven’t seen an incident happen like that again in their sect, have you, huh? HAVE YOU?” The ram man seemed- no, WAS tiny in comparison to Yanda, slumping over and mumbling something under his breath. Yanda shrunk down to her normal size before she continued with a huff, “I’m more suspicious of Ivan, anyway. Recently, he’s been a bit distant from the other Council members, and while his sect is thriving, there’s rumors that he’s artificially inflating those incident numbers to make himself look good. He has a perfect record… Too perfect, I’d say. I mean, what sect doesn’t have a screw up now and then?”

“I suppose you have a point there,” said Spider girl, reaching out for her drink and taking a few sips before pushing it away. “There has been tension between The Council as of late, namely due to those vigilante groups that have cropped up in each sect. Magus and his allies say that it’s better to work in tandem with them, while Ivan and friends prefer to keep to themselves, since they can cause more problems than its worth and are not to be trusted.”

Ram man took a deep breath, gathering the courage to say, “Well, okay, but um… that still doesn’t answer the question about the wild card. Any clues, Yanda? Shikla?”

Shikla drummed her fingers on her cheek, tilting her head to the other side as she closed her eyes. “If I were to take a guess, the wild card is someone who doesn’t have any allegiance to either Magus or Ivan. A neutral party who can act according to his own morals, without any ties to the politics happening here, and could step in in case something nasty happens between the two. Probably someone who isn’t a Planeswarden proper, maybe a mercenary who at least knows what they do.”

Yanda happily chirped in, “Maybe it’ll be one of those guys in that vigilante group! Can you imagine, a big ol’ praying mantis piloting Fenrir? Oooh, it’d be like a dream come true!”

“I’d sooner see one piloting those Aerogater replicas than piloting a dog,” Shikla replied with a snort. Even as Hiroki mopped the floor, he felt all of her eyes fall on him. Slowly he turned, his eyes meeting hers as she steepled her many fingers. “Oho, don’t think I didn’t notice you leaning in there, Mr. Janitor,” she said in a sickly sweet voice. “Eavesdropping on us is hardly becoming of you.”

Hiroki stared at her for a moment before he shrugged and said with a timid smile, “Guess I was caught red handed, huh?”

Yanda turned towards him, looking at him before she extended her wing and shoved him into the group, forcing him to take a seat with them. “Come on, then!” she said cheerfully. “If you wanted in, you could have just said something! Not everyone gets the chance to hear some juicy deets!”

“B-but won’t he get in trouble?” asked Ram man, twiddling his thumbs, his eyes darting across the room for any sign of other eavesdroppers. “Th-this is confidential information, and if they find out…”

“First, Andy,” Yanda said as she waved him off, “I’d be the one to get in trouble. And second, who’s gonna believe I was spilling confidential info? I’m so innocent and sweet and cute, to boot! I’m like Diadem, except I’m not an elf and my wardrobe is severely lacking!”

“And you’re not marrying Mr. Lazy Bones,” Shikla adds as she takes another sip of soda. “Though, I suppose he’s not entirely lazy. Now, new best friend-” her eyes turned towards Hiroki again, a smile spreading across her face that he couldn’t tell was sincere or devious - “what else would you like to know? Yanda here knows quite a bit, so ask away!”

Hiroki gulped. He wasn’t exactly used to being in the middle of a bunch of Planeswardens. Well, sitting next to them, at least. He was always fixing things or cleaning up after them, not really mingling with them. It was kind of isolating: there they were, with magic and alien technology and all these other things so many people on Earth thought didn’t exist, with powers that could take down inter-dimensional threats with ease. And then there was him: a normal guy, from a normal college, with the usual college debt, with nothing special about him aside from his impressive Pokemon Trading Card collection. Hardly anyone said anything to him, least aside from his Boss. So to be thrust in the middle of a bunch of aliens who welcomed him was a bit jarring.

Still, he shoved those anxieties right into the closet, put on his best fake smile, and said, “Well, I’d like to know more about those candidates! They must be pretty spectacular guys to be considered by Ivan, of all people!”

“Ohohoho, of course!” Yanda said as she covered her beak with a wing. “I don’t know all the details here, but mostly, they’re mages. They can control the bot’s mana flow better and make use of its powers easier than just some guy off the block, they say. Some of them are from his own sect, though. Blatant favoritism, but since he’s basically on par with Magus in importance, nobody can really say anything. Then there’s Aurelis’ picks, who are more alien. Says that Fenrir can’t manipulate those they can’t understand, so why not pick someone with morals and motivations that differ from the human race Fenrir annihilated?”

The very thought of an eldritch being piloting a robot sent shivers down Hiroki’s spine. Nervously, he grabbed at his long, black ponytail and started to twirl it around his finger as he said, “That might be just as dangerous, actually. It might be harder to for Fenrir to control, but it’ll be harder for us to control them, too. And what if they drive Fenrir insane? That would cause problems for everyone, wouldn’t it?”

Yanda tilted her head to the side before she let out a sigh. “Maybe, but it’s still worth a shot. Least, that’s what Aurelis thinks.” In a snap, Yanda perked up and raised her wings as she said happily, “And then Duer, our hot doggy dog Duer, oooh, you’ll never guess who he decided to suggest first!”

Shikla smirked. “It’s that big mantis you told us about, isn’t it?”

Andy slumped over, looking away from the trio as he said, “I… I guess maybe Ginocini? He doesn’t really have much of a tie to the Planeswardens as he does to Diadem, and he was a mercenary for a long while…”

“A bunch of space dogs with space helmets and Telekinesis!” Hiroki said cheerfully. “A buncha dogs piloting a big dog, can you imagine? Hired by a meteor dog!” He laughed, though there was a tinge of anxiety in it. He hoped they didn’t know too much-

“Bzzt! Wrong, wrong, wrong! I actually heard from the rumor mill… thaaat… iiit’s gonna be a random janitor!”

Oh, no. They knew too much. He considered telling Duer about this, maybe asking what his real reasoning was behind showing him… Fenrir, was it? But maybe there was no harm in this. It was just three ol Planeswardens, its not like it fell into enemy hands…

Before he could think on it any longer, the trio of aliens heard their phones buzz all at once. They took them out, and Hiroki could see clearly that it was an alarm.

“Oh, shoot, is it Dr. Splitter again?” Yanda said with a groan. “I’m tired of him popping up and splicing animals together. Who needs to see a dog spliced into a mantis shrimp, anyway?”

“I’m more worried about what’ll happen if Mr. Bigglesworth gets to him,” Shikla said with a shudder. “That’s one fight I really don’t want to see.”

“Th-then we should probably hurry up, huh?”

The trio stood up, Yanda facing Hiroki and patting him on the back as she said, “Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Janitor, but we gotta split! I’ll try to get more juicy deets for you later, hear? Bye byyyye~”

Hiroki waved at them with a goofy smile on his face, more than eager for them to return. Maybe they’d share tales of their latest fight with Dr. Splitter… or maybe more details about the candidates. Or maybe-

CRASH. Hiroki turned towards the back, a corner of his lip twitching as the one Planeswarden so eager to get a bag of chips, dropped the vending machine on the floor and smashed the glass, taking the one bag of Cheetos that got stuck.

At least he’d have his own little story to tell when the trio got back... right?

Janitors and Robotos and Planeswardens (oh my)

Sweep, sweep, sweep.

Sweeping was all he could do to contain the remains of the party last night and conceal the truth. Not one scrap of confetti should be left on the floor, and the floor must shine like the stars outside of HQ. It was a tedious job, though one he eagerly accepted after promises of a four course meal for a job well done.

Although... even as he stood upon the cleanest part of the floor he had ever seen in his life, simply turning around showed that there was much more work to do, with beer cans littered across the floor,  broken glass sitting in puddles of booze, and crumbs laying out for space mice to enjoy just a slice of the good life.

His smile waivered a little bit, his pride hurt as he stared at the mess. After being hired not too long ago, he never expected an organization like the Planeswardens to have such wild parties. Scratch that: he never expected the damage to be this big. Usually, they were a lot more contained, and people had the sense to clean up after themselves. He would just come in afterwards and find that there wasn't a lot left to do aside from sweep, mop, and buff. Not this time, though. The Janitorial Gods That Be had other plans for Hiroki Kouta.

"Well, least I'll get dinner later!" Hiroki assured himself, steeling as much resolve as he could before he continued his long and tedious job. "And I'll get paid! And, uh..." He scoured his brain for more reasons, only to squeak out, "Boss won't yell at me, I guess?"

It took a full two hours for him to clean up all by himself,  thinking hard about how he got here. When he found out about a job opening that involved fixing things for an office to keep running, he jumped on it like a hyena ready to devour a slab of meat. He begged an editor to help fix up his resume and slapped as many of his mechanic jobs on there as humanly possible. The salary was good enough so that he could actually afford to eat somewhere nice without fucking himself over for rent and groceries. Who wouldn't jump at the opening? The fact that it was actually a job position among the Planeswardens was fantastic, like a dream come true!

Then it turns out, oh. Not only did he have to fix the microwave for whenever a lightning elemental accidently short-circuited it, he'd have to clean it out after someone inevitibly microwaves styrofoam. Lately, it was more cleaning than fixing... And Hiroki was itching to do something other than deal with other people's garbage. Hopping into other dimensions and meeting sylphs... Traveling to another world and meeting aliens... Fighting in a giant robot like-

"Oi!"

"AH!" Hiroki nearly tripped over himself to stand at attention, broom at his side, facing the complete opposite direction of where he heard the voice. When he realized his mistake, he hastily turned around towards the open door, grinning like a dog caught in the act of stealing bagels straight from the toaster oven. "B-boss!" he said, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek. "I'm not slacking off, I swear! Look, whole place is sparkling clean!"

Whoever came in through that door certainly wasn't the always scowling brunette glaring down at him through his spectacles. Boss wouldn't come clanking in with a bunch of pitch black armor. And he certainly didn't have a head of bright red hair, oh no. "Dunno who the heck your boss is," said the stranger as he scratched at his head, "but they must be damn proud if you managed to clean up this whole place by yourself!" He then looked down at the floor and added, "I can even see myself reflected on the floor, and that takes some doin'!"

For the first time in a long time, Hiroki swelled up with pride. "Well, it is what I do best!" he replied with a geniune smile, placing a hand on the back of his bandana-covered head. "Not even the toughest stains can get past me!"

The knight stood up straight  and grinned back at him with a thumbs up. "Good on ya! I was wondering if anyone actually got to this ballroom yet." His grin shifted to a frown as he continued, "Heard from Robert that things got a little wild in here. Said something about some alien soccer team winning their planet's World Cup."

Hiroki raised an eyebrow and looked over at the garbage bag filled with booze cans, then glanced back at the knight. "I thought they were celebrating the Super Bowl! Was it really just soccer?"

There was an awkward silence between them as the knight slowly raised his eyebrow. He raised his hand to his chin and scratched at it as he said quietly, "Um, the Super Bowl was back in Februrary."

"A-and... what month is it, now?"

"It's April."

Hiroki deflated like a balloon, all his cheer and optimism fading in a blink of an eye. "Shows what I know," he said, setting the broom aside and slouching forward. "It's hard to keep track of time when you're in space."

The knight waved him off. "Don't worry too much about it. All that matters is that the ballroom's clean, just in time for whatever gala Aurelis has planned for the newbies."

"And just in time for me to go home and make, um..." Hiroki thought for a moment before he recalled that his pantry was nearly empty from his latest binge, then sighed. "I guess I'll be making just some dressed up Cup Noodles tonight, huh."

"Cripes, that's rough. Guess I should shake your boss into giving you a higher pay while I'm out and about tryin' to fix the place," the knight grumbled. Hiroki stared at him and watched as the knight's eyes lit up. The knight turned to him with a grin and said, "Can't do much about it now, but how 'bout I show you a lil something to cheer ya up?"

Hiroki had no idea what the heck this something was, but it was bound to be more exciting than waxing the floors. "Sure, why not?" he said with a grin, eager as could be.

He followed the knight out of the door, into the long, dark corridors of the Planeswarden's HQ, the way only lit by the lanterns that lit up as they drew closer to them, then dimmed as they walked past. They passed the kitchen, the cafeteria, the auditorium, and more as they reached the elevator, Hiroki shocked at how quiet it was. Had he really worked on that ballroom til everybody went to bed?

Inside the elevator, the knight pressed the button for the bottommost level, which raised more than a few alarm bells. Moreso when a panel slid up from below the buttons, revealing a scanner. The knight slid the gauntlet off of his right hand and pressed his thumb against it until he heard a click and a beep of approval, the panel sliding to cover it again as he moved his thumb off and slid his gauntlet back on. As the elevator began its descent, Hiroki stared at his companion like he pulled a magic trick right in front of his eyes.

"Who ARE you?" was all he could ask him, baffled.

The Knight only grinned at him and said, "Duer O. Corran. Earth Planeswarden."

The ride would have been a lot smoother if Hiroki wasn't literally standing beside an actual Planeswarden, nevermind a veteran! He heard all about him from eavesdropping on newer members, from his most famous adventures to protect this dimension to him adopting a fairy as his daughter and teaching her how to beat people in fighting games. One of the strongest Planeswardens there is, they all said.

They also said he was actually a meteor dog, but he sure didn't look like one now.

Soon, the elevator stopped, the doors opening wide as Duer stepped out with Hiroki. The janitor's eyes flew wide open at the sight before him:  several small rooms, all containing strange objects and artifacts in reinforced glass. All of them were strange and new to him, almost terrifying. Duer wasn't leading him towards any of those rooms, though: he took a left turn into another corridor, signalling Hiroki to follow.

Duer must have noticed the concerned look on his face, as he said, "Relax, those things aren't going to end you. They're more dangerous if they're in the wrong hands, and we've made sure to idiot-proof the whole place."

"That wouldn't stop someone with special access from getting them and wreaking havoc though, would it?" Hiroki asked. "Wouldn't it be safer to just destroy them?" He placed a hand on his chin, closing his eyes as he thought a little and added, "Or maybe they can't be destroyed, so that's why they're here?"

"You sure catch on quick!" Duer replied with a smile. "You're right: These are all the things we got from all the threats we've faced to protect this plane. We've managed to get rid of some, but the higher brass thinks we can't destroy these ones in particular. Either they're trying to find a way to use it for good, or they're forged out of something we don't know how to break."

"Or they want a stockpile when they go crazy and try to end the world with them?"

Duer blinked, then shrugged. "I mean, if they wanna try, sure. Not that they'd get very far. Whole damn crew would come in trying to paste 'em, Council included. But nevermind that for now."

The duo stopped at a steel door at the end of the corridor,  another thumbprint scanner sitting beside it. One more thumbprint later, and the doors slid open for the duo to walk right in.

With eyes wide open and a slack jaw, Hiroki oggled at the thing before him: a massive wolf-like mecha, standing tall with silver-white armor, a jagged blade at its side and boosters  on its shoulders. Several large cables were connected to it, a blue-green substance flowing into the mecha through several ports.

After several minutes of looking at this thing at all angles, Hiroki said, "Holy shit, this is amazing! It's incredible! It's..." He looked over at Duer with a doofy confused look and asked with a timid grin, "Uh, what really is it? Is it really just a giant robot?"

Duer laughed, patting the janitor on the back as he replied, "It's a giant robot alright! Though, where it's from, it's called a Deus Ex Machina."

Enthusiasm quickly turned to terror as Hiroki broke away from Duer and sputtered, "Wh-what, what?!? There's a GOD in there?"

"We'd be dead if there was," came the blunt reply. "Think of it more as a demi-god: still powerful, less bullshit." Duer sighed, a frown forming on his face as he continued, "In another world, there was war that people thought would never end. Those at the top wanted to end it through any means necessary, so they took those with the most magical power and used them to power the machines, stripping them of everything but their spiritual forms. They brought an end to the war, for sure. A bloody end, as the spirits turned against the pilots and killed them, then used the machines to kill everyone else that stood in their way. We stepped in because we thought they would, unchecked, destroy more than just their own world.

"In the end, we only managed to capture one," Duer groaned. "There are others still around, though we haven't tracked where. Managed to seal this one up, though now the higher brass is talking about making someone pilot it as a countermeasure against more of its own kind."

Hiroki looked up at the mecha, unsure whether to feel terror or pity for the spirit within. Slowly, he turned to Duer with a puzzled look and asked, "So, uh, the reason you brought me here was to see if I could pilot it?"

"More like see if you were interested," Duer replied. "I'm not about to shove you in there without training! Don't even know how the spirit's gonna react after waking up. Maybe it'll be more calm after that nap, or maybe it'll still hate everyone's guts and wish death and destruction upon everyone. Either way, we need someone who wants to do it, and has the willpower to handle it."

A once in a lifetime opportunity, plopping right into his lap? A chance to actually do something beyond janitorial work? A chance to pilot a giant robot?!? Hiroki's eyes sparkled, his heart burning with passion as he shouted, "Of course I'm interested! I gotta pilot the robot! I just gotta!"

Duer snorted at first, then broke out into a chuckle at his friend's enthusiasm. "Now that's what I'd like to hear! I'll mention that to my bosses: we have a few canidates already, but doesn't hurt to have another." There was a slight pause as Duer's cheerfullness waivered, a nervous look creeping over his face. "Uh, I never DID ask for your name, did I?" he asked awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head.

"Huh? Oh, well, no, but it's Hiroki. Hiroki Kouta. Nice to meetcha!" Hiroki extended a hand out for a handshake, and found that Duer's handshake powers were not to be underestimated, what with that firm grip threatening to break his bones. As the two turned to leave and closed the door behind them, Hiroki said, "I guess I have more to look forward to than just a four course meal! Though I guess everything that happened here never happened, right?"

"Yeah, don't spill the beans to anyone," Duer said with a nod. "As far as everyone else is concerned, this never happened. If you do..." Hiroki saw one of Duer's eyes glow dark red, an odious feeling in the air as the knight said, "I'd have to kill you."

When he finally returned to his dorm that night, Hiroki wasn't sure if he couldn't sleep because of terror or excitement.

Least there was something to look forward to, for once.

A Talk Between Bandits

"Woah, woah, woah, wait! B-bandit raids? Here?!?"

Neither Yin nor Jiang were so happy to get spittle all over his face as Ning shouted with a mouth full of fish, her one good eye wide with shock.

Jiang sighed, slouching in front of the fire, watching the rest of the fish cook on sticks as he replied, "Yeah, there's been news about another town that got raided outright. There's only a handful of survivors, one of which is hanging out at my hometown. It's likely that they'll try to raid it, considering we've got a lot going for us right now."

"But Boss, they can't be THAT stupid! There's patrols everywhere now!" said Ning, this time after she finished gnawing angrily on the remains of her fish. "Not only that, even they must have heard the story about a Chimera here! And us, too!"

Yin placed a paw on his chin, closing his eyes as he said, "Probably not. We do make an effort not to be seen and recognized." He opened one eye and frowned, watching the fire crackle underneath the cover of tree branches. "I do wonder why they would raid anything, given that Lord Zhung's royal guard are patrolling the paths."

"Because they don't give a shit." Ning and Yin turned towards their boss, curious as he straightened up and looked them straight in the eye. "Any thief or bandit or whatever who would brazenly murder almost an entire town in broad daylight simply don't give a shit about the consequences. Hell, they might even be confident that they could kick the Royal Guard's ass. It's a power play: maybe they think that if they raid a few towns and burn them to the ground, it'll make people piss themselves when their names come up and throw money and tributes at 'em to keep them as far away from 'em as possible."

The trio fell silent for a few minutes, pondering the grim possibilities of a bandit group gone wild over a meal of cooked fish. It wasn't hard for Jiang to tell how they felt, especially as Yin snapped and chewed on fish bones with a growl and Ning grumbling something under her breath. He couldn't blame them: not only did they make it even harder for them to get money, there was so much needless death and destruction.

After all the fish were devoured, Ning cleared her throat and asked, "Hey, Boss. Do we even have a clue who their leader is? Maybe it's someone we know, and we can maybe talk 'em down! Or shank his shins or something!"

"Not a damn clue," Jiang replied with a sigh, grabbing a nearby bucket of water to douse the fire out. "A friend of mine spoke to that survivor, but that guy couldn't remember if there was anyone who stood out. And I'm not about to go and shake him down for answers after dealing with that shit."

"All the more reason to keep guard around here, then," said Yin as he crossed his arms and glanced around the forest and looked back towards the cave he called home. "We are keeping quite a bit of stuff here, and with both the Royal Guard and Bandits to worry about, it's important to keep our earnings safe." He turned toward Jiang, eyebrow raised, as he asked, "But we can't rule out the possibility of it being someone we know, can we?"

"Yeah, Boss, we can't!" Ning said, standing up and balling her hands into fists. "It could be anyone! Heck, it could even be Tao Liu!"

Yin's eyes narrowed as Jiang grit his teeth and glared. Jiang's blood boiled with anger as he recalled Tao Liu standing near a caravan they targeted, his hands and sword slick with the blood of guards and merchants that stood against them. That same blade carved into another guard without a single shred of mercy. Corpses littered around them, the dying crying out for mercy... and that sickening grin plastered on Tao's face.

"I did such a good job putting down these guards, Boss," Tao said as he plunged the blade into another guard to cease his cries. "Now there's no one to  say a word of our little crime. Maybe I deserve a bigger share of the goods for such a job well done!"

After a minute, Jiang said quietly, "You're right: we can't rule it out. It could very well be Tao, but we don't know that for sure. We don't even know where their hideout is. All we can do right now is hope for a good chance to get the jump on 'em and shake down as many answers as we can from 'em." He avoided Ning's gaze, rubbing at his neck again as he mumbled, "Fuck me if it's Tao, though. That's one problem I didn't bother to take care of..."

Yin placed a paw on Jiang's shoulder and shook his head. "Don't kick yourself over it too much," he said with a small frown. "The whole situation back then was tricky. If we hadn't retreated when we did, not only would we have been convicted of a crime we didn't commit, those guards who almost died to him would have bled out. It was more important to you that they lived than Tao died." As Jiang slumped a little, Yin added, "There was no way you could have known it would turn out that badly, so I'd rather you'd take pride in what little good you did manage than the mistakes that you made, my dear Boss."

"Besides..." Ning popped her head off and leaned on Jiang's shoulder awkwardly with a grin. "If it's Tao, that means you get to beat him to a pulp for real! And I get to shoot him in the face, and Yin gets to eat him!"

"As if I'd have such terrible tastes as to eat a lowlife like him," Yin snorted.

Jiang smiled a little bit, turning towards his friends and replying with, "Well, I guess that's one way to put it. Either way, we should take care of it somehow, ya know?"

"And be the big damn heroes we wanna be and be showered with money and love and praise?" Ning grinned wider as she rolled off Jiang's shoulder and back into her body's hands, screwing her head right back in place. "Hell yeah, I'm all in, Boss!"

"I already get enough love and praise from my family, but a little more can't hurt, can it?" Yin added with a cheeky grin of his own. "Do be kind and let us know about their movements, Boss. Especially if they are going to target your home!"

"Pffft. As if they'd actually mess with Boss's home, Yin. I mean, he's the Boss for a reason!"

Jiang would have appreciated that bit of praise a little more, had he not seen the plume of red smoke rising into the sky, in the direction of his very own hometown. All of his cheer and happiness faded, replaced with a stern glare and a growl. Ning and Yin were both confused, at least until they saw the smoke and saw their own boss dashing towards it.

"Aw, man! I spoke way too soon!" Ning cried, heading into the cave to grab her bow and quiver of arrows before dashing after Jiang. "Yin, come on! We got work to do!"

Normally, Jiang would tell them to stay back. They weren't exactly welcome into human society... but he honestly welcomed the help. Even if he didn't, they would have forced their way into helping, anyhow.

Hopefully, they wouldn't be too late...

New Year's Demon

The light of the full moon shined in through the window, illuminating the small room more than the blue fire candles could. Each candle sat at the tips of the pentagram, the sigil made not with the blood of man, but with the ashes of those who fell against the great evils of the world, those who would give their whole lives to the cause. Lavender incense filled the room, ready to soothe the inevitably angry demon that would burst forth from this ritual. Everything was set, everything was ready…

Well, except for the fact that the summoner was called away, leaving MAGIC to watch over it in her stead. “Don’t try to summon it without me,” Tamia said before she left, waggling a finger at the donut-munching kitsune. “It is far too dangerous for someone like yourself! Wait until I return, alright?”

That was about, say, an hour ago. One full hour. And there was only one full hour until the New Year, according to MAGIC’s handy-dandy tablet. She prepped for this by buying as many donuts as she could with her meager allowance, ready to share them under the light of fireworks, but… Well, now she’s here, getting crumbs all over the sigil. Not like it’d make a major difference, right?

She tried all sorts of ways to distract herself: transforming into various Kobbers, playing as many mobile games she could on her tablet, watching cute dog videos… By the time she was done, it was 10 minutes to 12, and Tamia still hadn’t returned. And she was the one who emphasized that this ritual HAD to be done at 12 on New Years. Too early, and the demon wouldn’t even come. Too late, someone else might have summoned him.

“Well, someone could have summoned him at midnight in Japan, and we’d still be in a pinch!”

Sadly, Tamia did not listen to MAGIC’s sound logic. Maybe because her brain exploded. Maybe. Either way, MAGIC stared at the sigil, looked back at the time, looked at the sigil, and did some finishing touches. If a demon’s gonna come out of it, it’d be rude not to leave an offering of a donut in the middle, right? Hopefully, they like chocolate!

5 minutes. No Tamia. MAGIC peered out the window, hoping to see any sign of her. What kind of errand was Tamia on, anyway? Must be important if she was gone this long.

4 minutes. She couldn’t wait any longer: the young kitsune placed her toes at the edge of the sigil and began to channel magic into it, a dim red light emitting from the sigil and slowly becoming brighter.

3 minutes. She didn’t really know what, exactly, Tamia was chanting when she did her summons, but MAGIC sure tried her best to copy it. Demons love chants, apparently.

2 minutes. The sigil’s light lit the whole room, the moon’s light now tinged a blood red. The flames on the candles danced feverishly, MAGIC still chanting under her breath. 1 minute, she could feel the mana all around her, all the power swirling, seeking an out. It was this power that would serve as the conduit for a demon’s arrival. 30 seconds, Tamia is all but forgotten as the whole room shook around the little kitsune. It reminded her of the Halloween House, and, for a moment, she wished she was summoning Samhain instead.

10 seconds. MAGIC broke into a sweat. Could she do it? Could she summon the fabled Even-Yeared demon? She opened her mouth, unsure of herself. Tamia was the one who did these things, not her. Tamia wasn’t here, though. She was just a worse Tamia, wasn’t she?

Maybe. But someone had to do it, for the safety of their village, of their home.

“From the depths of Relgion,” MAGIC boomed, steeling her nerve and shoving her fears back as best she could, “I summon thee, Satoshi Nakamura, the Five-Eyed!”

The magical power surged right at midnight, lightning crackling all around MAGIC. It was only for a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity before it finally dissipated, revealing a man in the middle of the circle. His long, brown hair flowed behind him as a cold wind passed them by, putting out the candles around the sigil. Slowly, he opened his eyes, staring at the one who beckoned him to this plane.

“From the depths of Relgion, I have come,” he said slowly, his gaze piercing through her very being. “For what purpose have you summoned me?”

MAGIC didn’t say anything for the longest time. She didn’t even notice his irritated look. Slowly, she raised a clawed finger up at his head, the biggest grin spreading on her face as she spoke at last.

“You have a donut on your head!” was possibly the worst way to greet a demon you summoned, especially accompanied with a fit of laughter. “Oh wow, I put a donut on the sigil cuz I thought you’d be hungry but it’s on your head, oh my gosh ahahaha”

The demon stared at her before plucking the donut off of his head and taking a bite out of it. Then stared some more.

After a pregnant pause, he said, “It’s an unusual way to greet a demon.”

“I thought it was the best way,” MAGIC said, crossing her arms and huffing. “Everybody likes food. What kinda demon doesn’t come over for food?”

“Surprisingly many,” Satoshi admitted after taking another bite of his snack. “They would rather come for power. But I digress.” He looked her in the eyes, his tone serious as he said, “I ask again, for what purpose have you summoned me?”

MAGIC gulped, but she tried her best to hide her fear. Demons can smell your fear… Maybe? Or maybe that was dogs? “Uh, um, I summoned you to… uh, help me sample this bakery’s goods?”

The demon quirked an eyebrow. “Truly? One usually does not summon a demon for such.”

“Hey, they’re devilishly good!” MAGIC retorted… though really, she just blurted the first thing that came to mind. “Bound to trigger all seven of your sins or your money back!”

The way Satoshi stared at her made her feel uncomfortable. Was he judging her? Was he mad? She couldn’t tell, as he had a perfect poker face. He stared for the longest time. She stared back, and realized something: he only had two eyes. Where were the other three?

Finally, he closed his eyes and said, “As much as you’d wish it to be the case, I know that is not why you called for me.” Her eyes widened as he continued, “I see your fear, clear as day. It is the same fear most summoners have upon their first true summon. They call upon a force that’s hardly their own, something they cannot control, something with their own thoughts and feelings. That very force could be capricious, demand more than what the summoner can give, twist the summoner’s desires into something more foul, more in line with their way of thinking. A force stronger than your own is keener to manipulate things to their own ends than to aid you in your quest.

“That fear stops most from summoning, but others, like yourself…” Satoshi raised a hand and pointed at MAGIC as he continued, “there is always something motivating you to move past such fears. A reason far stronger than a date for donuts.” He opened his eyes again, and, quietly, he asked, “So once more, I ask of you… For what purpose did you summon me?”

Was it possible to be afraid of being afraid so openly? MAGIC wasn’t sure. She struggled to think of something, anything…

With a heavy sigh, she replied, “I… I need you to protect my friends, my family… Everyone on Chengde.” Her thoughts flashed back to a time of blood and flame, her own people dying before her very eyes as they fought the hordes of demons the Black Witch conjured, Tamia grabbing her and whisking her away before the demons could claim her. “I lost a lot of friends and family before… not only me, but so many other people, too. I don’t want anyone else to suffer like that, not anymore. But I…” Her eyes began to water, her throat throbbing with pain as she forced herself to say, “I don’t know if I can do it alone! So please…”

It was strange. From how Morgan and Tamia explained it, MAGIC feared that she had summoned a cackling demon that demanded much for his help, like blood and sacrifice. So to see the demon she summoned smile gently at her and hold out his hand… It was a little weird. Morgan did say that not all demons were all blood and gore, so maybe MAGIC should have expected this more.

“I understand,” Satoshi said. “I shall protect all you hold dear, and in turn, I ask for home, food, and drink. If that is enough, then take my hand, and seal our contract.”

She hesitated a little as she held out her hand… then grasped his hand firmly, suddenly filled with resolve.

“I, MAGIC, hereby make a contract with you, Satoshi!” she said, though it sounded a little stiff. She cleared her throat and tried again, “You and I are gonna be best buds and kick some butt! And eat everything on the mainland! And then some!”

Satoshi’s smile faded just a little bit into concern. “Um, surely not in one day… correct?”

“Maybe in one day, if I’m really hungry. Maybe not if I ate a giant Thanksgiving spirit beforehand, though! Man, those are pretty filling!”

If Satoshi wasn’t shocked before, he was now. “You ate a what?”

“Oooh, that’s a good story! Well, it all started when Krampus-“

Before MAGIC could go too deep into her embellishment of the Big Bad Turkie Day, the door behind her creaked open as she heard someone say, “Sorry I’m late, MAGIC! I’m ready to perform the ritual-“

MAGIC turned around and saw Tamia with an armful of groceries. Groceries that she just dropped as her cheer turned into fear. The young kitsune looked over at Satoshi, then realized she was still holding his hand… and let go just to attempt some patty cake. Unfortunately, it was impossible to play patty cake with someone with a donut in one hand, one that he was casually finishing off.

Tamia stared and stared and stared… and then…

“MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!”

The Christmas Party

“S-so when we got there, we met up with a lot of kindly demons and devils! One of them even gave me a slice of Devil’s Cake!”

Satoshi’s pointed ears pricked up as Renais wriggled with joy in her seat, flapping her arms in the air like she would take off into the skies at any moment. His eyes lit up with curiosity, watching the girl on the other side of the screen as she took out several brochures from Occult Appreciation Day.

“They talked about all sorts of things,” she continued cheerfully, holding up the brochures in a way Satoshi could actually read them. “Curses, the differences between devils and demons, spirits… There was just so much stuff! And I also bought a lot of things, like… Um, hold on…” The demon quirked an eyebrow as Renais pulled out a suitcase from under her bed and dropped it on top, hastily flipping it open. His eyes widened at the sheer amount of things that popped out: several talismans and charms, a few crystals, and what he thought looked like a very blurry picture of a sea dragon peeking out from the surface of the water.

After a minute of gawking and watching Renais dig through the massive pile, Satoshi cleared his throat and said, “Um, it is good to see you so… enthused about the occult, but isn’t this a bit too much?”

The demon turned several shades of pale when Renais replied cheerfully, “Oh, no! This isn’t much at all, compared to what Sumireko bought! She bought TWO UFO pictures, Mr. Nakamura! Two!”

Unable to argue back, Satoshi simply watched Renais show off her new collection of occult items, his shock eventually giving way to a small smile. It was merely a few days since the two started talking again, after he had put up with a surge of people trying to murder him. Listening to the little magical girl get excited about so many things, like her favorite anime and the new cute dog she saw on the Vegas strip, was a pleasant break from watching his back for an ambush and making sure his transformations looked nothing like his usual self. Being so wary of everything was exhausting… so any amount of joy he could enjoy secondhand was like a cool breeze on a sweltering summer day.

Several explanations of each talisman she bought later, Renais relaxed in her seat, yawning loudly before she asked him, “So, what are you doing for Christmas?”

Satoshi stared at her for a couple of moments before it clicked. “Oh, the gift-giving holiday?” he said, though for a moment, he felt a little stupid. “I’m not quite sure. You do recall that we don’t particularly celebrate that here in Relgion, do you?”

“I know, but you know about it, so I thought…” Renais looked away from him, twirling a curl of hair around her finger. “I thought maybe you’d be interested in celebrating or something!”

‘Celebrating gift-giving when I can hardly go out without worrying about my enemies?’ was his first thought, his entire body tensing up. ‘When I hardly have enough money to care for myself, nevermind others?’ A pang of guilt followed those thoughts, the demon slumping in his seat. Why should he let his foes keep him from celebrating anything? And even if he couldn’t get anyone a gift, perhaps the greatest gift of all was merely his presence and friendship?

With that in mind, Satoshi straightened up and replied, “I should be able to. Though, did you have something in mind?”

Renais’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. “Then, why not come over to Cian’s place? We’re gonna have a big feast and everything! We’re inviting a lot of friends, like Scarlet, Tina, some Kobbers, and more!” Slowly, her expression grew dim as a realization dawned on her. “W-wait, if we did that, we’d have to warp to Relgion, wouldn’t we?” she asked, shrinking in her chair. “Just remembered you can’t be summoned in… you know, odd numbered years…”

Satoshi blinked for a moment, reaching out for a cup of coffee on his cluttered desk and taking a long sip. A sly smile grew on his face as he set the cup down, his eyes meeting Renais’. “Oh, that won’t be an issue,” he said. “Summoning me won’t pose a problem, certainly not for the likes of Cian.”

“W-what?” Renais stared at him, dumbfounded. “But they all say you can’t be summoned on these years! You only show up in even-numbered years, so I thought…!”

“True, a majority of my appearances happen during such years,” Satoshi admitted as he took another sip of coffee. “I’ve made sure to bury what little exceptions there were away, and keep such exceptions to a minimum. After all…” He couldn’t resist breaking out into a mischievous grin as he said, “How else would such a small rumor become truth to the Overworld?”

There was a sharp gasp from Renais as her hand flew to her mouth. “You mean, you… you made that up?!”

“In plainer terms, yes.” The grin faded slowly as he continued, “It was the only way I could manage to avoid summoning attempts from people every single year, nevermind from Kuroma of all people.” He slumped back in his seat, staring at the ceiling and groaning. “You wouldn’t know true suffering until the one you despise most summoned you to their side each and every day, just barely finding a way to worm out of their grasp and escape to the world you call home.”

“The closest I’ve got to that was watching a train wreck of an anime,” Renais admitted with a meek smile. “B-but anyway, I understand, I think. I’ll let Cian know, and we can prep! Though, uh, those guys that are chasing you are gonna be really mad, huh?”

Satoshi sat up straight and shrugged. “I’ll find a way to deal with them, one way or another. Perhaps Scarlet would appreciate the bounties on their heads, along with the thrill of the fight.”

The magical girl nodded, smiling at him like an angel. That smile was quickly wiped off her face when there was a loud CRASH, the sound of glass shattering, and the collective sound of Prinnies going, “AWWWW, DOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!”

“Oh dear, I think we might have a problem,” Renais said, all her cheer fading into dread. “Um, before we end the call, do you think maybe we could watch something tomorrow? Maybe play an MMO? Something?”

“Perhaps, but you should probably take care of that issue first.”

With one quick nod from Renais and a wave goodbye, the camera screen went black, and all that was left was a plain ol’ chat client. The demon sighed and pushed himself away from the desk, standing up to stretch as far as he could. Slowly, he walked towards the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. The man that stared back was ragged, with wild hair that reached down to his feet, clothes stained with blood and torn where they shouldn’t be, and dark circles under his eyes that couldn’t be cured with the power of caffeine. Was this truly the person Renais wanted to bring to her party? Could he afford to go like this?

He forced his self-doubt and fear away, quickly hurrying to the computer and messaging someone whom he never expected to message. A certain Planeswarden, who was certain to help him with the issues that plagued him…

“Diadem? Sorry to bother you so late at night, but… I may need a fresh new look.”