Monday, June 18, 2018

Suddenly, A Boyfriend

Beep beep beep! Beep beep beep! Beep beep-

SLAP.

“Piece of shit alarm...”

Cindy groggily pulled her hand away from her alarm clock and rolled over in bed with a groan. The sun’s light trickled in through the window, past the heavy curtains she set up. Damn sun, always being up so goddamn early. Sleep more important. Sleep’s always more important.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

She slapped it again, rolling over and shoving another pillow on her face. It was too early to do anything. It was her day off. Every day was a day off, now that she was taking a break from the actress gig. And that meant she could sleep in as long as she-

BEEP BEEP-

“For fuck’s sake!”

Cindy grabbed the alarm and chucked it like she was a Chuckster all her life, the poor thing flying across the room-

Bonk.

“Ow!’

Cindy sat up in an instant, eyes wide as she turned towards the source. The alarm fell at a man’s feet, the poor guy rubbing the unfortunate bump that formed when she accidently hit him with it.

“Oh god, are you okay?! I’m so sorry!” Cindy said, rushing out of bed to brush away his red hair and kiss the boo boo like her life depended on it.

He shrugged it off, even though he flinched when she kissed it. “Don’t worry about it, I’m alright,” he said. “You probably shouldn’t be chucking those things around. Besides, you can just… disconnect them.”

Cindy stared at him and gasped. “Wow, you’re a goddamn genius! Maybe I should do that!” She then shrugged and crawled back into bed, yawning all the while. “But you know… that just… isn’t my style.

“So, your style is ‘aggressively throw things you don’t like across the room.’ Remind me never to bring Prinnies into your apartment.”

“And your style is yelling ‘FIGHT ME!’ in the middle of a wrestling promo that didn’t even involve you.”

“Touche. Anyway, now that you’re up, you want something from Dunkin? I can go grab a bite for us to eat. Maybe you can catch a few more minutes of shut eye while I’m out.”

“Long as you don’t catch that stupid tie in a door and strangle yourself, sure. And why go to Dunkin when you can just… go order some Black Magic Bakery stuff online.”

He raised an eyebrow, then took out his phone, bumbling his way onto the BMB website. “They deliver locally, and last I checked, they’re in Kuwahawi and Manhattan. We’re in neither of those places.”

Never had Cindy been so incensed at living in California. Nice beaches, nicer homes, nicer food, but no goddamn Black Magic Bakery. It was an utter sin, and she was about to correct this right now.

“Hold on, bae, I’ve got this,” she said as she pulled out her phone and dialed. “Hello, Parsee? Heeeey, girl, it’s been forever and a half! I’ve been secluding myself after my shameful display at Drown Yer Mates-”

“You were actually busy doing weird actress things that involved getting drunk,” ‘da bae’ corrected, though Cindy waved him off.

“-and crying bucketloads because the paparazzi got a hold of it and tore me a new asshole. I mean, come on, half of you chumps wouldn’t have even tried. Anyway, could you get me one of those cinna-waffles Celestia has? And a big stack of pancakes? VROP ‘em over, I’m starving. Unless you wanna do an in-person delivery!

Uh huh, I’ll pay you back ASAP. Thanks, you’re the best! Love ya~!” Cindy hung up, turning towards her man with a smirk. “Breakfast is on the way. Now get over here and cuddle me, goddamn it.”

“W-wait, hold on, you got that set up that fa-”

Cindy rolled her eyes, got out of bed, grabbed him by the stupid tie, and dragged him into bed with her, snuggling him tight.

She wasn’t exactly sure how this started. It was sometime where she was filming something stupid: the director wanted her to be at least tipsy and try to act like a snobby princess all the while. Gods, the plot was weird: tipsy princess with a gun, fending off challenges from Overlords everywhere as they all tried to kill her for some god forsaken reason. Oh, and some weird, forced romance between her and some guy. Lots of stunts were involved, and the main actor wasn’t nearly as talented as her. They went through a bunch of stunt doubles trying to perform the tricks he had to do, most of them cowering out when they realized they were up against a very scary, real Overlord who was just acting like a dick for the pay.

Poor actor was left to do his own stunts, bless his soul. But one day, just as he was about to pretend to kick an Overlord’s ass, Mr. Big Tie just rolled up and actually laid the beatdown on the Overlord. Just… outright kicked his ass, no hesitation.

She wasn’t sure if she wolf-whistled at him for no reason other than wow, nice muscles. Maybe she also said something lewd. All she knew was that maybe she had too many shots that night and she might have said something vaguely romantic or tsundere or something and he took her to a hotel so she could puke and get over her hangover.

Then he got hired as the stunt double because ~magic~ and they went on casual dates and… now they were here. Snuggling. In bed. At 7 AM.

Cindy didn’t know how the hell it actually started, or when it became a real thing, but all she knew was that she at least enjoyed his company. It was hard to find anyone worth dating when you were an actor or actress, because people tended to date them as trophies, as a golden egg, the sugar momma or sugar daddy or whatever the fuck they called them these days. Personality? Who gives two shits about that, when they’re famous?

“Hey, Cindy?”

Cindy groggily turned towards him. “Yeah, Adell?”

“You think we could maybe go out of the country sometime?”

“Did you kill an Overlord and have to run away from your crimes and your horrible past or something?”

He stared at her, sitting right up as he said, “Wait, what? No, no! I meant to watch some Brawl something or other! It’s in Kuwahawi, and two friends of mine are in it!”

Cindy sighed dramatically, sinking further into her bed. “Damn it, I was ready to forge some documents and everything.”

“You were seriously thinking of covering tracks, weren’t you?”

“Maybe.” Cindy sat up and streched before she leaned on Adell’s shoulder. “Anyway, sure, we got time to spare. I don’t have shit to do aside from post cat pictures and latte art on my Instagram.” She rested for a bit before her brain switched on. Brawl. Kuwahawi. A Brawl on Kuwahawi. Suddenly, she jerked up, giving Adell a shocked as hell look as she shouted, “Wait, your friends are in the BIG BAR BRAWL?!?”

“Could you not shout in my ear?” Adell shouted back, flinching before he pulled up photos of both Gonzy and Priere. “Anyway, yeah, I know these two! They were both involved in some Demon Hunting stuff, and they both helped me beat up Zenon! Was wondering what they were up to all these years, so I figured now might be a good time to catch up!”

Cindy looked at him, then back at her phone. Adell, phone. Phone, Adell. Phone.

“One sec, bae,” she said softly before she dialed Parsee again. “Hey, Paru-paru? Why didn’t you fucking tell me your stupid, adopted Penguin Son is IN THE BIG BAR BRAWL?!?

“Wait, Gonzy’s Parsee’s adopted what now?!?”

“No, I didn’t know! Please, get me front row seats so I can watch your penguin son die horribly and I can get drunk and tell my boyfriend, ‘ha, I could do better than that’. “ Cindy watched Adell’s cheeks turn pink, turning away from her the moment she made eye contact. God damn it, why was he so cute when flustered? “I’ll do Brawl votes just for you if you get ‘em! Pinkie promise! Also need some hotel rooms because I’m inviting Kevvy, too! We’re hardcore brawl fanatics, you know!”

As she chatted away, breakfast arrived in bed, the VROP startling Adell for a second before he dug into his pancakes like a starved hyena. Watching him eat breakfast in bed alone was no fun, so she quickly wrapped up her call and joined him, smiling right at him as she said, “Well, I guess you know where we’re going soon!”

“Yep! Heard about these Kobbers: they seem to be just my type. Kind of like big damn heroes, huh?”

“MMMMMMM, 90%, yes.”

“What about the other 10%?”

“5%’s too cuddly to be heroes and the other 4% are… out there. Courier’s was a weird one before he died, and then there’s a few others who kinda straddle the line of gray morality.”

Adell wiped some syrup off of his face with his tie. Didn’t he ever hear of napkins? Did she have to ask Parsee to VROP some napkins in, too? “Do I even want to hear about the 1%?”

Cindy leaned in close, so close her lips were right next to Adell’s ear. “Sinefam.”

“Nevermind, don’t think I wanna hear it.”

She grinned as she took a bite of her waffle. “Yeah, thought so. Long story. Either way, yeah, they fit your style like a glove, except they scream ‘FITE ME’ at one another and lo and behold, they do it! The Big Bar Brawl is basically them shouting ‘FITE ME’ at each other all at once and then 99% of them die. And that’s just for kicks, too! Can you imagine that Zenon guy you keep talking about showing up and turning people into demons for his power and then being all wordy in front of them? He’d be dead before the year was out. Trust me, I know.”

“Zenon was kind of a chump anyway, so that sounds a lot like overkill.”

As the two talked the day away and Cindy explained all Adell needed to know about Kobbers, excitement built up in her chest. She’s going to see the Brawl with her best friends and her battle maniac of a boyfriend. She’s going to watch people kick ass and take names. Maybe she’ll get dragged into a Kobber thing or two.

Most importantly… she would have someone to share it with.