Sunday, November 3, 2019

Special Deliveries

Ding!

"Order up!"

The diner was bustling with activity: families chatting as they dig into big meals, friends laughing and telling stories over a strong cup of coffee, and the string of bells ringing as plates of food slide up, ready to be served. It smelled strongly of beef all around, with hamburgers and steaks and pot roasts delivered at several tables.

It only got beefier, however, as  a huge burger was slapped down into the biggest container that could handle such a thing and stuffed in a bag. The waitress struggled to carry this over to the To-Go section, where a girl with light-up skates and an equally dazzling set of headphones bobbed her head to tunes. Honestly, the waitress wasn't sure what the girl was going to do with it. Could a burg even fit in her body?

"Order up for..." the waitress started as she squinted at the name. "Troy?"

The girl snapped her head up and grabbed the bag with an ease that terrified the waitress. Not that she'd show such terror. A smile spread on the girl's face as she says, "Yep, that's for me! Thanks bunches~!"

"Make sure ya leave a tip," the waitress calls out as the girl zooms out, checking her phone and pressing a button to reveal her to-do list.

"Aaaand... Boop!" A tap, and 'Big Daddy Burger' was marked off this list. "Now we gotta get-" she blanched a little bit as she saw just how many Dr. Peppers were on her list. "...He's really making me do this," she grumbles as she pulls out her Sifter. "Well, he already paid, might as well go grab it real quick!"

There was an insanely loud VROP that startled some customers as the girl activated the sifter and went on her merry way.

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The cashier gave the girl a very unimpressed look.

"...That's everything, is it?" he asked, deadpan, much like most cashiers still working in the middle of the night.

The girl smiled apologetically at him as she replied, "I'd get more, but only because it's part of an order."

"...Someone ordered this." He looked down at the shopping cart. "2-liter Dr. Peppers."

"Yuh huh."

"Twelve of them."

Another nod from the girl. "Yep. Think I'm gonna need to borrow the shopping cart just to bring it to him!"

The cashier gets the handheld scanner and works on this as he comments, "Hope he pays you back with a spot in his will, because his heart's going  to explode from all of this. Hell, I'd be surprised if he survived without getting diabetes."

"I'm pretty sure he's actually just an eldrich being fueled only by Dr. Pepper, actually," the girl replies with a small smirk. "He'll only stay benevolent as long as the elixir stays in his blood."

"One helluva customer you've got, then."

The cashier finishes scanning things up and gives a price, the gal quickly grabbing her card to swipe and taking off with the cart at breakneck speeds. She glides across the road for a bit, enjoying the thrill, the night breeze, before realizing that maybe that's not the greatest idea to do with twelve Dr. Peppers in her cart. She marks off another thing on her checklist before her eyes widened.

"Oh, that's it!"

She looks down at the cart with a frown.

"...I think I'd kill him if he added anything more," she mutters under her breath, digging out her sifter from her pocket, fidgeting with it as she sets the coordinates. "I'm already about to set off store alarms because I'm borrowing a cart. Who does he think I am, Godzilla?"

As she was grousing, she hardly noticed the figure creeping behind her in the cover of night. Slowly, surely sneaking up on her, until they were quick to get the jump on her and put a knife to her neck.

"Nice toy ya got there, kid," she heard the figure say before she saw his eyes looking down at her sifter. "Hand it over, or-"

A large yelp echoed through the night as she blatantly headbutted him, whirling around and activating the rockets on her skates to put more OOMPH in her kick. Her assailant skid across the ground but was back on her tail, persistent enough that she couldn't focus on teleporting herself AND the cart away to her destination. So she needed to make this fight quick, fast enough that the burg didn't get cold and her client didn't get mad that his order was late.

"You're going to regret that!" he shouts before she waggles a finger  and launches a glob of hot, molten cheese. If it weren't for the ski mask he was wearing, his whole face would be dealing with second and third degree burns. Maybe that would have been better than his eyes getting the brunt of it. He dropped his knife, screaming in pain, clutching at his face as the girl zoomed in and grabbed his weapon and put it in her pocket. She turns off the rocket power and quickly sets up her sifter, grabbing the cart just as the assailant finally managed to open their eyes and get up in a rage.

"Bye, bitch!" was the last words he heard as she VROPPED out of existence.

if only she could see the look on his face.

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VROP

"Iiiii'm heeeeeeeeeeeere~" the girl says, her cheer dying in her throat as she found the room empty. It was lit up, showing her client's rig and the mini fridge she wasn't sure was capable of holding twelve entire 2-liters of anything. She broke into a sweat, peering through corners and pushing open doors she didn't feel comfortable opening otherwise.

"Hellooooooooooooooo...?" she said as she opened the door to the bathroom before slowly closing it.

"Trooooy, where aaare youuu?" she asks again as she opens up a closet full of Planeswarden uniforms and hideous looking shirts she thought should burn in a fire.

Exasperated, she opened the last and final door and shouted, "Hey, buttface, I brought the foo-"

This room was full of bolts and gears, floor absolutely littered with robot parts as Phreak tweaked away at a sifter right beside his bed, carefully removing parts with as much dexterity as he could with rubber gloves. The delivery girl coughed awkwardly, but Phreak didn't even turn his head towards her, too absorbed in his work to answer.

"Guess I'll just take these Dr. Pepper's back-"

That got his attention. "Geez, Mel, can't you wait two seconds?!" he shouts as he finally puts the sifter down, glaring at her. "I'm trying not to teleport my hand into The Bleed and watch it come back as some eldrich being stuck to me like a puppet!"

"No, because then your burg's gonna get cold and hard as a rock because SOMEONE didn't invest in a microwave!" Mel snapped back. "The sifter can wait, can't it?"

That nervous glance from the sifter back to her was not a good sign. Neither was him saying, "Well, I got a job from Outside, so I need to fix this sooner rather than later. And make sure it works, to boot."

Mel's eyes widened before she took a deep breath, carefully deactivated her skates so they could be normal sneakers, and navigated through the mess to set Phreak's burger beside him. "Well, you won't be any good on an empty stomach, Troy, so at least take a break! Your Dr. Peppers are in the main room, though..." She narrowed her eyes into a glare. "Why twelve?"

Troy looked at her as if the answer was obvious. "Because I don't know if this dimension even has Dr. Pepper, and I'm not taking any risks!"

Her glare intensified. "I had to steal a shopping cart to get them all in here."

"...M-maybe I overdid it a little," Troy admits, wilting under such a look as he opened up and revealed his big ol burger meal. "...Definitely overdid it," he repeated as he slowly lifted up his mask enough to reveal his mouth. Mel flinched at the sight of scar tissue around it, gnarled as it was, looking away as he took a big bite of his burg.

Mel sighed before taking a seat on the bed, glancing over at the sifter as she asked, "Outside asked for help, huh? That's new. What's the occasion?"

"Ladeca."

She felt her whole stomach sink like a rock at the mere mention of the name. Visions of friends, forms twisted to the point of nigh recognition, their memories warped and weaponized, raining hell upon this dimension's Planeswardens flooded her mind.

"D-did they find her or something? D-did she attack them, too?" Mel asked, clutching at her skirt tightly, breaking into a cold sweat. "Don't tell me they were lost, too-"

Troy held up a hand to stop her panic as he responded, "No." After swallowing down another bite of burg, he continued, "I got into contact with one of their Councilmembers to get more details after he contacted me. Ladeca's been influencing their dimension more subtly from what they could tell, though her followers were being more blatant in one part of it. After dealing with some dimensional sheenanigans, they managed to kill one of her followers and locate the dimension she's probably lurking in."

Mel's eyes widened again before she got in Troy's face and asked, "Are they going to storm the place? Go all gung-ho? Avenge the fallen like they're superher-"

He flinched and pushed Mel away with a free hand, a frown forming on his face. "They know as well as we do that trying to storm it without a plan in mind would be a disaster. She's a powerful sorceress who manipulated many of our own friends to turn against each other. She's got a following and has ruled for long enough that there might not be many people open to rebel against her, since she might be doing them a favor. Either that or they're too scared to speak up." He paused a moment, putting his burger away for the moment before putting his mask down, a serious look peering through the goggles. "He also mentioned that they're going through an upheaval after their founder was killed and the right hand man went crazy and killed several of his own friends for some stupid ideal. They might have more people in general and more resources, but they know that if they just go in there willy nilly, they're going to have a bad time."

After a moment of awkward silence, Mel sat back on the bed and crossed her legs, slumping a little. "So then, why you? Why now? They could have waited until they were ready to investigate, couldn't they?"

"Probably, but they probably have more problems than just her, from the sound of it. Something that needs some more researching so they can figure out a game plan." Phreak turned his attention back to the sifter and tweaking, tweaking, tweaking. "They said they want me to help the Earth Sect, too, so something tells me they're in a pretty bad situation. Either that or a niche needs filling that nobody else is filling."

The silence lingered longer, the delivery girl content to watch her friend and teammate keep working. Thoughts were lurking in her head, wondering what that particular Outside dimension was like, if they were really in as bad shape as Troy said, if they really had found out where their greatest enemy might be lurking. A mix of worry, anger, and excitement bubbled under the surface, Mel fidgeting more and more with her fingers and eventually grabbing a pillow to squeeze to try to get that energy out.

Then, all of a sudden, she shouted, "Then we should both go! Two's better than one, and I'm sure everyone would appreciate some speeedy delivery, eeeeh~? And more missions, more money! We could then get you an actual kitchen in here! And you can get out of here and actually do things and wecanactuallybeawesomeand-"

She stopped herself, her energy deflating as quickly as it came as she added, "Or maybe I'll be useless-"

Troy stopped his work, stared Mel right in the eyes, and said sternly, "Don't start putting yourself down before I even get a chance to say something, Mel." After taking a deep breath, he continued more cheerfully, "You're right, you WOULD be a good addition and moral support! Hell, you can even put those powers to good use! When was the last time you even faught something, anyway?"

"A few minutes ago. I threw hot fondue in some asshole's eyes."

He blinked, and he quickly corrected, "When was the last time you faught the typical Planeswarden enemy?"

A timid look formed on Mel's face as she pressed her fingers together and thought. "It's been years, I think."

"Exactly!" Troy beamed with joy, which caught Mel a bit off guard. "It'll be practice for both of us, and they'll give us pleeeenty to do. With me as mission control and you kicking ass, we'll be the solution the Outside needs~! So I'll hit up the councilman again and see if he could use a few extra hands. You, Rita, maybe Sparklehands-"

"What about Miss Bearington?"

Mel wished she could see the wicked grin underneath the mask. "Ooooh, you are an absolute genius! Miss Bearington is a MUST. Mr. Kitty is also a must, because he's a goddamn cat! Who DOESN'T want a cat? We'll just have to see!" A bit more fiddling and calibrating later, and Troy triumphantly shows Mel the repaired sifter. "Alrighty, I think I fixed it! Mind testing it out for me?"

"Couldn't you test it?" was the question she was going to ask, right before she promptly remembered the last time he sifted. Just one planet over to meet some of the gang for lunch, and he was trembling, mask off, hurling his lunch and then some for what felt like a half hour. So instead, she asked, "Am I allowed to kick your ass if I get the Cthulhu puppet on my hand instead?"

"You are allowed to rip me one new asshole, though I'd prefer if you didn't!"

Mel grinned, taking the sifter in her hands. "I'll do you a favor and rip out two-"

"Just the one, please," Troy pleads as Mel laughed, adjusting the coordinates to someplace simple. Like to the Custard Cat Dimension.

VROP.

VRIP. It was hardly a minute when Mel returned with a Custard Cat  trying to bite her shoulder. She doesn't look too fazed, though, tossing the sifter back to Phreak as she says, "Works like a charm! Got a hanger on, but he didn't turn into a godbeast so I think that's a win!"

"Woo, still got it!" he cheered. "Well, it's ready for when Outside calls aga-"

Bad timing. He found his iPad vibrating on his nightstand, Troy nearly tripping over himself to get to it. A bombardment of text messages from Aurelis showed up, and as he read them... Well, given from that shocked look he had on his face, it didn't take much for Mel to figure out whatever news he got, it's not good.

"They need my help with an incident already?!?" Troy shouted, breaking into a nervous sweat that rolled down his neck. "I just barely talked to them and they're begging for me!"

Mel nearly snorted as Troy continued to trip over himself, gathering his army of ladybug bots and his beloved TENTOMUSHI in a panic. "Hey, that just shows they trust you! Go and give 'em a good first impression, wontcha?"

"MY FIRST IMPRESSION IS GOING TO BE ME BARFING INTO A BUCKET, MELISSA!"

"I meant everything that comes after that, you dumbass," Mel countered as he adjusted the coordinates and slapped the sifter onto himself once he had his armful of bug bots. "I'll watch over your 12 million Dr. Poppos while you go sway the others." She also sees the burger and stacks that on top of the bugs as she adds, "Make sure to warm that up once you're done, too! Have a good trip~"

Troy looked at her like a kitten forced to accept that bathtimes were always going to be a horrible, awful thing they'd have to deal with.

"I won't," was his only answer before he VROPPED to his destination.

Silence reigned again, Melissa taking time to talk out to the main room and bask in the light. She fidgeted a little, concerned that maybe she wouldn't be able to help. God, she wanted to help now, but she didn't know where he was going. She couldn't go out and make more deliveries to distract herself and earn more money, given that Troy told her about the recent invasion. She couldn't risk losing his trust by ditching his home and letting it possibly get under some asshole's control. All she could really do is wait...

...Well, he wouldn't mind if she used his rig and watched Netflix. Surely he'd be back with answers after an entire season of Aqualiss vs Nightmare Bottling Company.... riiiight?

...After she guesses his password right. God damn it.