Tea Time

The smell of orange and cinnamon wafted through the tea room, as hot water was poured carefully over a mix of tea leaves. Potted plants of all sorts lined the room, radios set to play birds’ chirps that echoed through the room. The only way it could be more serene was if there was real grass beneath one’s feet instead of a luxurious rug and if the walls imitated the skies outside, rather than covered with several paintings of the massive, horrifying form of Lord Terrorhate. Paintings Etrohus would love to rip off the wall and throw straight in the garbage.

“They’re too valuable to throw away!” his advisors cried once when he threw one particularly horrid painting into the garbage. “Oh, what your father would think if he saw you throwing away pictures of his magnificence!”

His father would have him tortured just for doing a so-called ‘shabby’ job at ruling, Etrohus figured. But he’s quite dead, so his opinion hardly mattered.

In spite of the paintings, it was the one place Etrohus could find peace. Where he could find a small bit of joy in the tedium of his life. There was nothing quite like having a cup of tea after particularly difficult negotiations with other species from other planets, or after several heroes attempting to bribe him to pretend that they killed him so they could brag to their friends, or even after his advisors constantly lavished him with food and praise so sickly sweet, he could gag. Over a cup of Earl Grey, it was easy to forget the troubles in life, the issues he wished to address, everything. Of course, tea time was not complete if he wasn’t wearing the fuzziest ferret-covered pajamas he could find, black hair braided back and swaying to and fro.

Etrohus waited patiently for the tea to steep, then raised the cup to his lips. Warmth surged through his fingers, the steam tickling against his nose as he smiled.  A sip was all it took for that warmth to spread throughout his body, the sweet, tangy, and spicy taste tingling against his tongue.

Bliss. Pure and utter bliss. Heavens above, may this moment never end-

Something crashed outside of the room, the sound of glass falling on the ground. A screech of, “GET BACK HERE!” pierced the silence, as several loud footsteps passed right by the tea room’s door. Etrohus sighed. Another intruder? Or did one of the servants decide to steal something from the advisors? Whatever the case, they were making quite a commotion. The king did his very best to ignore the yells and screams, concentrating on the birds chirping. It was much harder once he heard magic spells being thrown around willy nilly; you can’t exactly hear birds chirping when there was an explosion nearby.

This lasted for about a minute or so until the door flew wide open, a young woman with a small backpack on her back rushing in before slamming it shut and locking the door behind her. She did not seem to notice, in her effort to catch her breath and to clean her wide, round glasses, that Etrohus was there. “Oh, thank goodness, I’m safe!” she said with a sigh of relief, slumping down the door and taking a seat on the floor. “Now to wait them out and sneak past them to face the King of this castle! And hope I don’t get beat up too badly, I guess?” The woman frowned for a moment, taking a moment to adjust her glasses and fix up her braids. “Yeah, sure, not sure what I’m expecting, taking on a bet like this, but never hurts to try-“

The words died in her throat when Etrohus cleared his throat loud enough to catch her attention.

“I, uh, um,” the girl stammered, pulling a sheet of paper from her backpack and unfolding it as fast as she could. She looked up at Etrohus and smiled nervously. “Oh, hi, didn’t…. uh, notice you there! You wouldn’t, um, happen to be the king of this place, would you?”

Oh no. Another hero? He supposed it wouldn’t hurt to humor her. “I am,” he said in his most regal voice. “And what business have you with someone such as myself?”

The woman blinked. “Oh, huh, what do you know? Uhm, pardon me a moment…” She glanced down at the piece of paper, muttering something under her breath until she looked straight at Etrohus and said, “Excuse me, but my fists have an appointment… WITH YOUR FACE!” She held out a shaky fist and grinned, in spite of her whole body trembling. After a few seconds, though, the woman asked, “I-is now a good time?”

Etrohus took a long sip of tea, unsure of whether to laugh or give the woman a blank stare. She didn’t appear to have a weapon of sorts, unless she could conjure weapons from the void. In addition, she was alone, and nervous. Not the best first impression, but her one-liner was remotely entertaining.

After a few moments deliberation, he placed his cup down and said, “Apologies, but I have a different appointment with this cup of tea right now. Care to schedule for another day?”

“Oh! Oh. Oooooh.” Another blink. “Yeah, sure. Is later this afternoon okay?”

“I believe I’ll have another unscheduled appointment with Jerry later. He has a tendency of dropping by at the most inopportune moments. I would prefer if you scheduled it a week from now, if you really wish to see me.”

“Morning or afternoon?”

“Preferably afternoon.”

Etrohus raised an eyebrow as the woman wrote it down on her piece of paper. She seemed pleased enough, folding it back up and stuffing it into her backpack. “Right then, Mr. King! My fists will smash into your face in a week’s time, provided that I… um, don’t die beforehand.” She opened the door and peered outside for just a moment before hastily closing it and locking it again. “Mmmind if I stay here for a little bit? Your guards look kinda, um, pissed.”

“Not surprised, considering you tricked them and hid here,” said the king bluntly. “Since you’ve already interrupted what was supposed to be a peaceful time, I guess I wouldn’t mind your company a tad bit longer… under one condition.”

The uninvited guest stared, breaking into a nervous smile. “Oh, uh, yeah? I’ll do anything! Except, well, you know…”

Etrohus gave her a gentle smile. “Oh, it’s nothing serious. You see, usually, when one makes appointments, they give their name. If you could spare that much, I would greatly appreciate it.”

“OH! J-just my name, huh?” The woman grinned a little. “It’s a little funky, though. Family tradition, and all.”

The king couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow to that. “Oh? Well, don’t keep me waiting too long.”

“It’s… Comet Warwitch.”

Etrohus was glad that he was not sipping on tea, because he was quite sure he would have spat it out in that very moment. “W-wait, that’s a joke, right?” he asked, eyes wide as he gave her a worried look. “Surely your parents wouldn’t-“

“Everybody says that,” Comet replied with a frown, playing a little with her hair. “And I get it. I totally get it. But my dad, Claymore Tsunami, insisted on it. It’s family tradition, you wouldn’t break tradition, would you? It’s bad, but you live with it. Kinda. Maybe. Sort of.”

“Ech, that’s not a good excuse. I feel your pain, however. I’m sure you’ve heard of Dread Warlock, Deathflame, haven’t you?”

Comet perked up and nodded her head. “There’s not one person who hasn’t heard of him, yeah!” It took a moment, but the way she slumped as she connected the dots… “Oh. Ooooooh. Ouch. That’s… you, isn’t it?”

“In the flesh. But I would prefer you call me Etrohus; Deathflame is a nickname I made up when I was twelve, and yet nobody has bothered to drop it the moment I started to get embarrassed over it.” Etrohus slumped in his chair as well, staring up at the ceiling as he gave a mighty sigh. “Not even my father seemed to respect me enough to stop calling me that. Parents are strange.”

“You bet, Etrohus!” Etrohus couldn’t help the sudden jolt in his heart when she said his name, his actual name. A few moments pass them by before Comet glanced at him and said, “Well, uh, you’re a lot more, um… nice, than people say you are.”

Etrohus met her gaze, curious. “And what makes you say that?”

“First of all, I’m not dead! They said you’d slay anyone who even looks at you funny.”

“That would be more of my father’s thing, who is currently dead as dead could be. I only tend to knock people unconscious, and only if they truly wish to see a part of my power.”

“And you’re not looking down at me or anything.

“Even if your sudden intrusion was rude, you are still a person.” Etrohus smiled and added, “Besides, you’re the first person who respected my wishes enough to call me by my actual name, which is… honestly quite sad, regarding the company I keep.”

Comet smiled back for a moment before looking down at the ground. “It kind of makes me not want to keep that appointment,” she admitted, putting a hand on the back of her neck. “But you kind of, um… did bad things. And I’m a hero, so I kind of have to at least try to beat you up for what you did.”

Etrohus drained the last bit of tea from his cup before he gave Comet a sorrowful look. “I will not deny that I did terrible things, and any comeuppance that awaits may be fully deserved,” he stated, voice low but firm. “You are more than welcome to attempt it. But like so many others who have tried, I will warn you just once: there is a good reason I’m still alive, while those who faced me are incapacitated. You may very well join them if you actually challenge me. Even if,” he strained to add, “you make for good company, amongst the sycophants I deal with every day.”

The young woman laughed nervously, trying her best to smile as she wrung her hands. “Well, you know, I already took a bet with friends… said that I could at least cause you a lot of trouble before I go out. Can’t leave them like that, and, well, get called a chickenshit and all, um, ya know?”

“Hardly a friend if they’re going to call you stuff like that for deciding facing off with someone powerful enough to beat other heroes with ease is not something you want to do right away,” Etrohus growled. He noticed what he said and coughed. “I mean, I would concern yourself more with your well-being than what others would think of you.”

“Y-yeah, I guess!” Comet creeped towards the door and unlocked it, opening it just enough to peer outside and close it. “Wow, your guards are being, um, really vigilant. I might not, uh… be able to leave and stuff.”

The king stood up from his chair and lifted a finger, dragging it down through the air as if scratching a chalkboard. Where it trailed, a rift opened up, revealing a small, cozy town beyond. Comet hurried over and stared, slack jawed at the awesome sight. Etrohus looked at her and said, “Well, here is a more convenient way out. The appointment’s no good if they find you and use you for whatever sick plans they have in mind. It should lead to the nearest town.”

Comet looked at him as if he had just given her a million gold. “Wow, really? Um, ah, thanks! I appreciate it lots, Etrohus! But next time we meet, don’t get too mad if I repay you with a boot to the head and… stuff like that. Bye-bye!”

The woman hopped right in after waving at the king, the rift sealing itself behind her. Now he was alone once more, thoughts steeping like the tea he prepared.

The Dreadful King

(Just some offseason thing I got way too hype about and decided "you know what, fuck it, let's put this on my blog". I will finish up Sammy's and Carlos's fun in the mall when I return from Rhode Island. So sometime around December 8th or 9th. In the meantime, enjoy!)

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“Halt, foul king! Face us in combat! Or are you too cowardly to face true heroes?”

 Yet again, a ragtag band of men, wearing chainmail and holding swords, axes, and spears in their hands, came to deal with him. Infiltrated the white, steely walls of his castle, annoyed his servants enough to point them in the right direction, and, judging from their swollen gold bags, looted some of the treasure rooms he explicitly asked his advisors to patrol better.  “You’ll just get the money back off their corpses!” they said. “Just splatter them against the walls!” they said.

Clearly, they didn’t remember how long it took to clean the gore off the walls and carpet, as well as the utter guilt that came even before he wrote condolences to that poor group’s families.

As the heroes pointed blades towards him, the king slowly stood up from his golden throne, light reflecting off of his shining, crimson armor. He adjusted his crown helmet, making sure his long horns actually fit through the holes on top. After a moment’s worth of stretching, the mighty king said, “Fifth time I’ve heard that this week alone. All of you heroes are starting to sound like a broken record, and it’s quite disappointing. But sure, I will humor your attempts, as I have for several heroes before you. I have to be fair, at least.”

 One man spat out, “Are you making a mockery of the Yules?! You have no clue how truly powerful we are, Dread Warlock Deathflame! We have trained for this VERY MOMENT, so we can end your reign of terror!”

“As have several others like you,” Deathflame replied with a bored look. “I am at least willing to see just how powerful you are as a group, but I will warn you… There is a very good reason I’m still here, and others are recovering from the injuries I inflicted upon them. So pardon me if I don’t have much faith in you, even if I wish you the best of luck.”

The men clenched their teeth and gripped their weapons tightly as they charged towards Deathflame, who made nary an effort to avoid them. They roared in unison, their weapons clashing against the king’s armor. Swords and axes left scratches where they left, but the king did not budge, nor did he flinch as a spear struck his face. They were mere pinpricks to him, hardly the horrible pain the heroes thought they would inflict upon him.

Deathflame sighed as he pulled the spear out of his face and tossed it aside, ducking underneath the longswords and greatswords and kicking an axe out of one Yule’s hand. It flew up and lodged itself deep in the ceiling, much to the astonishment of its wielder. Deathflame backed away as the Yules regrouped, whispering things to one another as the king dusted himself off.

 “And that is the result of your training?” Deathflame asked, a tinge of worry in his voice. “If so, it would take a week for me to feel remotely sore from your blows. Do you have any sort of magic at your disposal?”

The group shook their heads as one scrawny man yelled out, “Magic’s fer witches! Real warriors let their weapons do the talkin, instead of this fancy hocus-pocus!”

“Do kindly tell that to the one man long ago who used Spellswords against me and actually stood a chance. I’m sure he will have quite the speech prepared for you.” Deathflame let out another sigh as he placed a hand on his chin. “Okay. I am afraid to say this, but… as you are now, you may be better off with more training and a more open mind towards magic. Again, one week to even make me remotely sore. That, and your armor is woefully inadequate. Usually, the cream of the crop wears Mythril to withstand physical and magical forces better.”

They didn’t take the advice too well, judging from the Yules’ growling and gritted teeth. “Is that how you look upon us?!” a Yule snapped. “Thinking that we’re not good enough for you?!? We don’t need your advice, and we don’t need any fancy-shmancy stuff to defeat you!”

“The last time someone said that, they had their ribs broken from one of my punches.”

“Oh, quit bluffin' and just show us your power already!”

Deathflame groaned as the men steeled themselves for his blows. They thought he was bluffing? That’s no good. Nobody worth their salt would underestimate their opponent. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt as he conjured an ethereal greatsword and held it in his hands. With one swing and all the restraint he could muster, Deathflame unleashed a shockwave that blew the Yules off their feet and flying in several directions. Most left dents in the wall, while a few managed to tumble down a staircase or crash right into a crowd of servants. One glance told Deathflame all he needed to know: they were out cold, and they weren’t going to wake up anytime soon.

With yet another hollow victory under his belt, the so-called Dread Warlock Deathflame looked down at his hands as if he were ready to sob.

“They didn’t stand a chance.”

Deathflame was not impressed by the gaggle of advisors that visited him hours after that poor excuse of a battle, especially when they were all crowding him at once. At least the heroes were removed from the walls and sent to the nearest hospital with haste. The last thing he needed was to see his advisors making sure they never got up again… or worse, use them as their little pets to torture.

“Fantastic work on defeating those pathetic worms who defy your rule, Your Majesty!” one advisor, a stout, fluffy eagle, said with glee. He placed a talon on his king’s shoulder as he squawked, “Honestly, I don’t know why they bother trying to dethrone you!”

“Never mind that,” said a slimy, worm-like creature, an odd fluid dripping onto the King’s armor as he spoke in his ear. “Why do you keep sparing them?! What you should be doing is a public execution! Like quartering! I love quartering, you see, your father used to do that all the time-“

Another advisor chimed, “I don’t know; burning them alive is more fun! All those useless attempts to scream and put out the fires-“

Yet another huffed, “Please. Where I am from, we used traitors as… lab rats, let’s say. It had very interesting results, seeing those so-called heroes turn into something they despised.”

 More and more advisors talked about their favorite forms of torture, Deathflame clenching a fist and growling until he finally snapped, “ENOUGH!” The entire room fell silent as he cast a glare upon them all. “I will not sink to such lows for your amusement. Honestly, I hardly understand why you relish in the misery of men.”

“We hardly understand why you felt the need to send condolences to the families of some heroes you killed!” retorted the eagle, puffing up to three times his size. “Lord Terrorhate would cringe at the thought-“

“Much like I cringe at the fact that my father actually kept that title, then. And if you must ask, it was because they wouldn’t have a body to bury, due to my lack of restraint in the face of inexperienced heroes. Some death is necessary, like in war, but those deaths? No. Restrained blows alone would have sufficed.”

If the worm had any eyes to roll, all of them would be rolled to the back of his head. “Such softheartedness will bring about the end of our era of terror! The peasants NEED to be put in their place, and shown that their heroes are NOTHING! That no one could save them now, and the sooner they accept your rule, the less they will suffer!”

As the advisors chimed in and added their opinions on Deathflame’s rule, he looked away from them and grunted.

“Alright, I have two points to address. One: you say that as if the end of an era of terror is a bad thing. You merely wish to use it as an excuse to inflict misery upon the people and show complete and utter dominance. Last I checked, dominating the world does not require you to be a tyrant to do it right. Yes, I do a few things the people dislike… Some for the better, others arguably for the worse. But a ruler does not have to be liked; they have to be competent enough to maintain everything. And not bring the entire ire of their people by slaughtering them by the dozens for absolutely no good reason. “

The advisors looked at him, dumbfounded. “Okay, since that is apparently going over your heads,” Deathflame said, “let me put this into simpler terms: A ruler doesn’t have to be nice, but they also have to have enough sense not to kill people senselessly and make a spectacle of it!” As one advisor opened his mouth, Deathflame added with a growl, “Just because my father did things like that doesn’t mean I have to, before you even try to compare me to him! With how terrible he was at ruling and how many people he slaughtered just because of, ahem, ‘stress relief’, no wonder so many people have tried to take my head because of stuff HE did!”

Still ogling. He wasn’t sure if the message got through to these idiots, but he could try it again some other time. Deathflame took a deep breath and continued, “The second point I wanted to make… Why does everyone here insist on calling me Dread Warlock Deathflame?”

The eagle advisor squawked with a smile, “Because it makes you sound absolutely vicious, Your Majesty! And it’s what your father would have wanted!”

Face, meet palm. “Forget what my father wanted! I made that title up when I was twelve! TWELVE! It’s embarrassing that you thought it was good enough to use! Now, I just wish I be called by my true name: Etrohus! King Etrohus sounds much better than King Dread Warlock Deathflame.” After a moment’s thought, he added meekly, “I don’t even remember the last time I used actual warlock skills, never mind fire spells. It’s a misnomer now, more than anything.”

“I still think it fits!” the eagle said. “You know the spells! No, you know the spells of our entire world! You know all the skills, and are the strongest on the planet! You are invincible and all-powerful, Your Majesty, and the fact that you humble yourself amongst those who would slay you is absolutely disgusting! You mustn’t hold back against your opponents, especially not traitors!”

Etrohus took off his helmet and ran a gauntleted hand through his long, black hair before he slumped in his chair and rested his cheek on his hand. “Thank you for reminding me of a third point,” he said with a frown. “With all the power I’ve acquired through intensive training and learning through others… Fights are trivial now. Boring. Nobody stands a chance. It just annoys me to no end that the thrill and excitement and utter happiness I once got from fighting people on par with me, or even stronger than me, is gone. I am the strongest there is, and quite frankly, the excitement of being able to beat everyone I know wears off pretty quickly.” He sighed, sinking into the soft velvet of his seat with a sorrowful expression on his face. “I just want that joy again, that excitement of striving for something, the thrill of a challenging fight! I want to travel the world and experience it for everything its worth! I want… I want…”

The advisors gasped in unison as the last few words escaped their kings’ lips.

“I don’t wish to follow in my father’s footsteps and crush all in my wake, nor do I want to spend the rest of my life stuck in this castle, wanting for nothing. I want to feel as vulnerable as the people who face me every day, struggle like the lower class, and lead my own path instead of pretending that the way my family ruled and gained this throne was right.” 

Quiet. Murmurs amongst the advisors. Etrohus raised an eyebrow, although he knew the question that would rise.

“But WHY?!”

“Live like the lower class?! Are you crazy?!?”

“Vulnerable, when you have all the power at your disposal?!? When you are the supreme ruler of this world?!?”

Etrohus rolled his eyes before he slammed his fist down, startling the advisors into silence. “Yes, it would be a stupid idea by your standards,” he said. “There is nothing better than ruling over people and feeling on top of the world and so on and so on. But it seems, to me at least, that those unlike us… the lower, the middle class, even some of the knights, that they enjoy life fuller. They have something to strive for, and they make the most of every moment, while we waste all the moments we have throwing luxurious parties and-“ When it was clear that the advisors were still in disbelief and hardly listening, Etrohus groaned, “Why do I even bother explaining? I don’t even enjoy the villainous aspects of ruling! I simply want a fresh, new start!”

“BUT YOUR MAJESTY!” the advisors all yelled at once, Etrohus hurrying to cover his ears lest they bleed. One advisor said, “Couldn’t you just, you know, make the heroes stronger, if there’s a challenge you seek?”

Another added, “Or you could strive to conquer another planet! And get more riches!”

“Making heroes stronger just to satisfy my need for a challenge… I feel sick just thinking about it. Especially if they lose anyway. And I have no desire to conquer another planet or become richer. It’s better if I start over at level 1 again, so to speak.”

“Turn yourself into a child aga-“

Etrohus shot his advisor a glare. “Not that. I mean weaken myself to before I became the person I am now, lose all the knowledge of powerful spells… Start from scratch, you see. I’d retain most of my memories and basic knowledge, while those pertaining to my strength, both physical and magical, are… poof. Gone.” A smile crossed his face as he added, “And then, I’d set off for a different planet, after having some hero pretend to kill me and allowing a new rule to rise. I need to get out more anyway, learn so much more about the galaxy at hand… and I’ve been gaining in pounds since I took over, anyway.” The king pointed to his bulging gut. “I need exercise more than anything, and what better way to handle that than to explore an entirely new planet?”

He grinned now, in spite of the advisors’ worried looks. The worm spoke up and asked, “You would give up all of what your father toiled to attain through several hundreds of years just to satisfy your selfish desire for a challenge?! He slew countless heroes without mercy and actually got the Genie’s Lamp to make his wish for domination come true! You would throw away your father’s legacy just because you dislike what you are given?!?”

The king looked at his advisor with a stern look.

“I would, because he’s a liar and a fraud. I want nothing to do with a legacy that involved lying to your family about how and why you did the things you did and making them stain their hands for you.”

And with his advisors left in shock, he stood up and left for his bedroom to think of just how he could get what he wanted… and not have the kingdom collapse with his disappearance.

Psychics and Fairies and Demons! (Oh my!) Part 3: Psychic and Fey

 Brian Goodman stewed in his cell, staring at the grimy grey walls as he sat in bed. He could hear the cries and moans and angry yells of other prisoners kept here, locked up far away from others. How completely embarassing it was to find himself among murderers and gang members. It didn't help that upon finding out her husband was a thief, his wife immediately started to file divorce papers. Another couple thousands of dollars of debt to worry about, wonderful! Why doesn't she take the house, too? And all HIS belongings? It's not as if he had anything ELSE to worry about!

 His hand clenched into a fist as that damned woman's laugh echoed through his mind again. Damn that Siren. Damn her for catching him in the act! Damn her for ruining his life! Damn her, damn her, damn her, damn her!

 "Yes. It's all her fault, isn't it? That fey does have quite a knack for ruining lives," a voice refurberated through the room.

 Brian stood up in a flash, shocked as he looked around for the source of the voice. None of the other prisoners seemed to react, and the last thing he wanted was to cause a scene by yelling out, "Who's there?!"

"Why, me, of course! Down here, beside you."

 He looked down and around himself before he stopped. He saw his own shadow waving at him, friendly as could be. That wasn't normal, was it? Was he waving at himself?

The shadow chuckled and folded its hands behind its back.  "So good to see you at last! The Shadow, was it not? I have heard so much of your accomplishments! Bravo, I say! But your most recent attempt fell short due to the meddling of a certain fey, correct?" Brian nodded, and the shadow laughed. "Ah, a common enemy we share, then! You see, she ruined my life, as well, and I intend to reclaim the debt she owes to me. But I cannot interact with the world directly, for I am merely a shadow of the person I once was.

  Through shadows, I speak with you, and through shadows, I move. Won't you provide the body I desire to enact my revenge? I can give you power beyond your imagination, speed to match an Olympiad, and you can truly become your namesake. I can aid you in your mission, allow you to take as many gems as you could carry, so those loans that oh-so-burden your mind will become naught but a distant memory. This Siren would be no match between us, as two minds are better than one, is it not?

Should you truly and honestly desire this power, shake the hand of your own shadow, and allow me to give you the things you truly and utterly deserve."

Brian watched as his own shadow stood up in front of him, extending a paper-thin hand. And oh so eagerly, he grabbed it, shaking it fiercely with a toothy grin. The shadow grinned, as well, before the darkness swallowed them whole.

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Brilliant lights shined down on the massive crowd of people at the Augusta Shopping Centre, the red carpet rolled out for the most extravagent people to arrive. Footsteps echoed through the two story building, as did the laughter of costumed women. Sammy could hardly believe that most people actually dressed up as royalty, with actual, feathery masks pressed against their faces. Even Diana managed to bring out her best green dress and mask, which made her roommate feel rather out of place with her casual clothing.

Sammy could see a real, live orchestra playing off to the side, as some people took to the pearly floors and began to dance. Diana bolted off to join them, finding a particularly cute woman in a blue wig to waltz with. Sammy couldn't help but feel bad, being at this rather extravagent event and yet not really enjoying it as much as everyone else. She was glad that Diana gave her some space, and wandered away from the action in search of Carlos.

It wasn't too hard to find him, really. He was one of the few people not dressed up for the occasion, casual as could be. There was a fancy, blue haired woman with a purple mask beside him, wearing a simple, yet elegant blue dress and holding up a purple, feathery fan to her face.

"Oh, how the people sing my praises!" the woman said with a laugh. "They parade in their costumes in my honor, and dearly wish to meet the hero that spared them from a world without the beauty of precious gems! And who am I to refuse their offer? Why, I should grace them with my presence as we speak!"

 Carlos shot her a glare and snapped, "You can't; the only reason the Mayor is even letting you stay at my place is because I agreed to keep you a secret from everyone! You know how most people react to fey gracing their presence, and the last time you tried to show off, you nearly drowned several guys at the community pool!"

 With a huff, the woman put her hands on her hips. "I don't understand why you humans even react as such! We are merely beauty incarnate, born to grace their presence and bless them with everlasting happiness! It is a great dishonor to hide from them for so long, and have another human masquerade as myself!"

 "You do know that the whole beauty thing was the reason you got captured by a lunatic banker, right? You know, that experience I would rather not experience again if I could help it?"

 "He was human garbage, anyhow, with how he treated all he captured. And his own son, oh... Poor child! He deserved a father much more appreciative than trash that lived amongst him!"

 Sammy swore the woman's eyes lit up, burning like a flame. Whatever it was, Carlos wasn't impressed one bit. "Point taken, but the whole reason we keep quiet about it is to stop idiots like those who would capture you, and those who would take advantage of you and blow up the city with your powers. Also to keep demons away, because you know, the last thing we need is a bunch of lycanthropes at my door trying to kill me to get to you-"

 He stopped, finally noticing that Samantha was standing there for the past few minutes. "Oh, hey, Sammy," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with a free hand. "D-didn't see you there. Sorry about that." A quick pause. "So, how is everyth-"

 The woman's eyes lit up with glee. Sammy blinked once, then noticed that the woman wasn't there anymore. An arm wrapped around her shoulders as the woman dramatically reappeared next to her, whirling around to get a good look at her. "Ah, so this is the little friend you spoke of, dear Carlos?" she asked with a grin. "How adorable! Perhaps it is your... paramour?" She clasped her hands together and sighed dreamily. "To know that Carlos, after several years deep within the pits of lonliness, has finally found someone to share his heart with! Ah, love! Truly the most powerful forces on this beloved planet~!"

 "Uhm," was all Sammy could manage to say, brain unable to process the other half of what this mysterious person was saying.

Her friend didn't seem too happy about it and grumbled something under his breath as he dug through his pockets and pulled out some cash. Holding it out, he said, "Please, just leave before you scare her  off. Maybe you can actually buy those gold coins you wanted."

The woman was more than happy to snatch the cash and break out into a grin. "Some alone time, to whisper sweet nothings in her ear? Of course, of course! Gold coins, you shall be mine! OHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

 Both Sammy and Carlos watched as she made a mad dash towards the nearest Dollar Store. How she could run in heels like those was beyond Sammy's imagination, but she wondered about those silvery, thin wings on her back. Figuring that it was just a part of the costume, she turned to her attention over to Carlos and said, "That was one helluva way to say hello. And I'm okay, I guess! Wondering how an orchestra got here and stuff..."

 "Only the finest for Siren Day," he responded before he let out a sigh. "Sorry about my friend; she's unusual even on the best of days. Kind of hoping she... didn't embarass you too bad. "

  "I have no idea what a paramour is, so hell if I know, bro!" Sammy walked over to Carlos's side, then gave him a gentle smile. "Guessing that's the actual Siren hero? She looks pretty cool! And you said she's fey?"

 Carlos nodded, looking down at the group of people dancing below. "Yeah, she's from the Feywilds. Beautiful, smart, and eccentric. Just like everything is out there. And if you're wondering how she got here... long story short, some banker tried capturing her, I saved her, she didn't want to go back and be alone in the Feywilds, so I petitioned to have her stay at my house, on the condition that she not make herself a giant target and flaunt herself to everybody." A groan escaped his lips. "Harder than I make it sound, believe me."

 Sparks flew from Sammy's hands again, excitement coursing through her veins. "Woah, that's awesome! How'd you save her? Like, bro, that's some Sarah Sister level shit right there!"

 "Nothing I'd want to talk about right here, but thanks." Carlos's cheeks were tinged pink for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck a little more as he turned his gaze away from his new friend.

 "Also, gold? Bro, you gave her twenty bucks! What kinda gold she buyin'?"

 "Don't tell her I said this, but the gold she was looking at? Bags of chocolate coins. You can buy plenty of those for twenty bucks. Fey are easily attracted to anything shiny, and Siren is no exception." Carlos winked and added, "Although you didn't come here to hear me talk about fey today. You wanted to hear me talk more about psychics in general, right?"

 The sparks became little lightning bolts as Sammy nodded her head furiously. "Spill the deets, bro! Everything you can!"

 "Alright, alright! Now, let's see." The elder psychic cleared his throat before he spoke in a more calm, collected voice. "The basic thing you need to know is that our powers come from the mind, and is affected by our mental state. It takes a bit of concentration to use these powers actively when you're dealing with monsters. At higher levels, though, you can activate it with hardly a thought. Psychics are usually sorted into two groups: Psychokinetics and Telepaths. The first group involves actively changing the world around you. I'm part of that first group: I can move and bend objects with my mind. You, too, are also part of that first group: you affect electricity and all. The second is more focused towards communication... or basically, mind reading and speaking.

No matter what group you might be in, the strength of those powers are designated by five greek letters: Alpha, Beta, Delta, Sigma, and Omega. Alphas are the weakest by far, mostly because they are newly awakened psychics. Omegas are the strongest, capable of using different aspects of their powers to their fullest extent. Also more prone to murdering just about anyone with just a thought, but I haven't met one myself. Otherwise, I'd probably be dead."

 "Nah, broseph, I bet you coulda handled it fine!" Sammy assured him with a pat on the back. "You told me I'm an Alpha.. what's your power level? I bet it's like, Sigma or something!"

 "Prepare to be massively disappointed in me, then," Carlos said, giving her a nervous smile. "I'm only one level above you: Beta. Good enough so that my powers doesn't actually risk killing me and that I have some sort of control, but not strong enough to be considered 'average' by any stretch of the imagination. I've only actively honed my powers for about two years, now. One of those years being when I moved in. So if you were expecting me to be strong enough to crush a man's ribcage or deadlift 700 lbs with my mind, I am so sorry. Really, truly sorry."

 "Hey, it's better than nothin', right? Least you have this cool power and can handle it good enough to kick a banker's ass. I mean, it's pretty amazing what your mind can do, aside from like a thousand SAT questions!"

 Samantha heard him laugh softly, although he didn't look too happy at all. "I guess," he replied. "It's helpful, but sometimes... I kind of wish that-"

 Screams pierced the air as both psychics were startled by  the sound of glass shattering. "The fuck was THAT?!" Sammy asked, looking down and watching the crowd disperse in a panic.

 "Nothing good, I'm sure," Carlos said with a grimace. Something buzzed in his sweater pocket, and he pulled it out: a phone, vibrating furiously as it played what Sammy recognized as Megaman X music. With a press of a button, he picked it up and asked, "Heya, what's up? Abnormal energy readings at the Shopping Centre? Well, what do you know, I'm actually there and people are freaking out! Funny how trouble seems to find me, huh?"

 The color drained out of the elder psychic's face as the conversation went on. "You're kidding, right? Brian escaped out of prison? But HOW?! You guys don't have any idea, either? Dios mio, why today of all days?! Yeah, I'll take care of it somehow. Yes, I'll pray that it's not a demon and it's just Brian snatching gems after breaking out. I can't promise anything about the chocolate, especially anything with the name 'Godiva' in it. Alright, alright, see ya."

Beep. Sammy peered over Carlos's shoulder, curious. "Yo, bro, what's the situation?"

"As you can see, someone tossed a turd right into the fan," came the grumbly reply. "And since I'm already here, I'm their best option of handling this without anybody getting hurt." He shot her an apologetic look and added, "If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate the hel-"

Before he could say another word, sparks burst forth from her body, Carlos's hairs standing on end from the shot. "DUDE, HELL YEAH I'M GONNA HELP! LIKE, I CAN'T TURN THIS DOWN AND I'D BE LIKE, AN ACTUAL HERO OR SOMETHING!"

 "That settles that. Just please, try to stick close to me. Even if you are excited, you're still an Alpha level psychic. I don't want you getting into deep crap if your powers fizzle out for no good reason."

 With a thumbs up and a smile, the two took off towards the source of the chaos. A place both may consider a living hell if they stayed there too long...

A Macy's.

Psychics and Fairies and Demons! (Oh my!) Part 2: Siren Masquerade

This is a continuation of an earlier post I made regarding the Psychics, made back in 2014. I'm getting the urge to finish what I started regarding these guys!

---------------------------

Balloons were soaring and crowds were roaring in Augusta Central Park today, the sun shining bright on the tall, marble fountain that stood in the center of it. Kids were squealing as several women, dressed up as fairies, gave them ice cream and hot dogs. Several of the women gathered around the fountain, wearing similar blue dresses and blue wigs. TV Newscasters  were speaking to a few of them, their OHOHOHOHOHO's loud enough to startle just about anyone.

Samantha wasn't sure why her roommate, Diana, brought her out here. She could vaguely remember Diana fangirling over some local hero before dragging her out. Least it wasn't the Feywilds again. Cool as they were, the last thing they needed was to be smacked around by another one of those kraken things and earning the eternal ire of the local barista.

As she wandered around with her Sarah Sisters shirt and some shorts, she managed to get a flyer from a very kind costumed lady. "Celebrating 1 Year of Heroism: Siren Day," she read out loud, taking a moment to adjust her glasses. "Food, drinks, and talks with the hero herself! Masquerade will occur at 7 PM at the Augusta Shopping Centre." She quirked an eyebrow as she asked, "So we're celebrating this Siren thing for some reason? Who are they, anyway?"

"Only the best hero we have next to the psychics~" came a cheery, bubbly voice. Sammy turned towards the source and saw Diana running to her side, holding up several shirts, balloons, and foam wings to her friend. "Sorry I had to leave you for a bit, but look at these! And they're dirt cheap! Ah, I am one step closer to filling out my collection!"

The chubby girl frowned. "But that doesn't answer my question."

In the next moment, Diana slung the items over her arms and dramatically wrapped her arm around Sammy's neck. "Oh yes, I almost forgot! For a long, long time, Augusta suffered from robberies and burglaries at the mall and museums! Valuable gems and jewels, stolen from right under our noses! So much white collar crime and unfavorable business practices!" Her eyes twinkled as she whirled around and gestured towards the sky. "But then, out of nowhere, a heroine appeared, catching them in their acts and putting them behind bars! Even when the police and security are of no help, she always catches the criminal! And none have seen her face, making her oh-so-mysterious!"

"How do you know it's a girl, though?" Sammy asked, glancing over at the crowd gathering towards the fountain. "If they haven't seen her face, that is."

Diana waved her off. "All the criminals testified the same thing: they heard a woman's voice speaking to them, telling them to stop their deeds." A grin broke out as she said with glee, "Isn't it incredible, though?! We have our own local hero, and she's been here for a year! Heck, just the other day, she stopped some creep named 'The Shadow' from stealing this really valuable diamond! It was on the news this morning, didn't you hear?"

Samantha couldn't bring herself to look right at Diana, unable to match the hype her friend was building up. "No, actually," came the soft, embarassed reply. "I usually don't watch that sort of stuff. I think I was watching the Super Sarah Sisters Super Show when the news was on? I dunno if using Pamela Anderson to portray Sarah was the best decision but it's super good-"

"Well then, today's your lucky day~! Oooh, let's go check out those people near the fountain! I hear they're doing a special newscast about Siren's biggest fans!"

 Before Sammy could think about protesting, Diana dragged her over to the fountain, eager to overhear the ever inspiring words of fellow fans. Sammy thought they looked stunning in those dresses and wigs, but she winced when an argument between two fans over who was truly the #1 fan broke out. As Diana stared dumbfoundedly at the scene, Sammy took that moment to escape through the crowds and into a more open area, with a lot less people screaming at each other around.

 She sat her tush on a bench and let out a loud sigh. "I just don't get the hype," Sammy said out loud, putting her hands on her chin and staring at the lush greenery below her feet. "Maybe it's because I've only been here a few days... or maybe because nobody actually knows who this Siren is. It would be cool to meet her in person..."

"Trust me, meeting her in person is probably the last thing anyone sane would want to do."

"Oh, thank you, suspiciously helpful voice out of nowhere!"

Blink. Sammy turned towards the source with a wide stare: Carlos, wearing a Galaga shirt and khakis with a green hoodie tied around hips and a coffee cup in hand. He took a seat next to her and waved at her with a free hand. "Hello again. Guessing Diana's the one who brought you along for the ride?"

Sammy nodded with a frown. "It was kind of out of nowhere, but she was so excited, I didn't really say no or anything. I think I would have felt a little guilty letting her go by herself when she wanted to show it to me? But I hardly know what it's about, nevermind the person they're celebrating." She sighed as she added, "And even after they told me about them, I still don't really feel so hype about it. And it feels weird, because everybody else hypes her up to be some sort of... of..."

Carlos closed his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee before he finished, "paragon of justice, right?" Sammy stared at him. "Yeah, I understand. I don't really get it, either, but Siren just loves bathing in all the attention and I can't really stop anyone from celebrating her accomplishments. You don't have to force yourself to get excited and happy over some hero you barely know. Just think of today as 'free food and drink and dress up like a pretty fairy' day instead."

 The chubby girl smiled and winked at him. "I don't see you dressed up as a pretty fairy though, bro."

"I think Siren would drown me in the bathtub before I even touch her wardrobe. I don't even fit in her clothes, anyway!"

 "Haaaa. You kinda talk like you actually know this chick, bro!"

 Sammy was not expecting Carlos to stare at her in disbelief.

"Um... Sammy? I do know her. I'm the only reason she's even here and acting like a hero. She lives with me."

 Thank goodness Samantha didn't have any sort of drink. She was sure to spit it out in Carlos's face if she had any. "You're kidding, right?!" she shouted, eyes wide. "You actually KNOW her and-"

Carlos hastily  grabbed her and put a finger to her lips. "Ssssh, sssh, ssssssssssssh! Only a few people know that! And I don't want the whole city to know; otherwise, I'll never actually get any sleep, between people wanting autographs and Siren gloating about all the fans she has! And she's a little, ah...  special. And not in the mental illness or psychic kind of way. Don't tell anyone else about this, please. Especially not Diana!"

After some furious nodding from Sammy, Carlos released his grip and leaned back on the bench, although he didn't break eye contact with his friend. "On a different note, how's the whole 'oh crap I can shoot lightning bolts' thing coming along? Any sign of it popping back up?"

Sammy shrugged and replied, "No go, broseph. Like, I tried giving it a whirl or two back at home but I couldn't even get a spark! Hell, even when I was gettin hype as hell about my games, all I could really manage was a few sparks that didn't do much other than cause static and shiz."

"So the normal thing for Alphas to go through, then. I wouldn't reccomend forcing it; psychic powers are finicky at first and usually take a while to actually control."

"But you said that Kenny dude was an Alpha and he had some control over it!"

"Only because he had a bit of practice. And you saw it fizz out at one point, didn't you? Alpha level psychics are just-realized psychics. Even if they do have some control over their powers, it's more likely to backfire and not work at all when you need it to." The elder psychic put a finger on his forehead and closed his eyes. "The way my mentor explained it is that in the beginning stages, it takes a lot of concentration to use one's powers... that, and a certain stimulus that varies from person to person. For one, it could be knowing that their loved ones are in danger. For others, it could be... I don't know, 'BUT THEN I'LL RUN OUT OF CHOCOLATE' or something." He looked down at the ground and sighed, "I don't know, I'm not the greatest at explaining weird things like this. In short, you just have to find that one thing that amps you up. No pun intended."

Sammy couldn't resist giggling at the pun before looking up at her friend with a grin. "Thanks, bro! I'll keep that in mind. Maybe later, you can actually tell me more about this psychic shindig thingy?"

Carlos smiled back, finishing off the last bit of coffee he had before using his powers to toss it in the proper recepticle. "Sure thing. It might be a lot to take in, and there's someone who can explain it better than I can. Don't know about tonight, though; It may be my day off, but I'm sure Diana might drag you to the Masquerade. So unless you wouldn't mind me babbling at you while everybody's all dressed up-"

"Bro. Bro. Bro. Like, BRO." Sammy could hardly resist grabbing Carlos, a spark in her eyes... and sparks coming out of her hands. "I'd definitely like to hang out and talk about all this shit! I mean, it's so weird, but so COOL, and I'm somehow involved in it! Me, with psychic powers! And I want to get up to speed and help you guys out with weird shit and all! Besides, if nothing else, we could play Last Legend V together or something!"

"Then it's settled: Meet you at the Shopping Centre at 7 PM! I mmmmmight bring Siren along; not like anybody could tell the real thing in a crowd of similar looking people. Then you can see for yourself whether or not you think she's worth the hype."

As Carlos got up and left, Sammy resisted the urge to yell out in delight. Waiting a few, long hours would be tough, but it would be worth it to hang out with someone she could at least sort of relate to in the sea of so many strange faces.

It's Raining Here.

Rain.

They always hated rain.

Whenever rain happened, bad things followed. It gets all dark and gloomy, and the radio keeps talking about all these car accidents on the roads. Everybody gets umbrellas out and has to fight against the winds and try not to get wet. And being wet meant being cold and uncomfortable and super soggy.

Most importantly, rain always meant that mom and dad were arguing again.

This time, they could hear beer bottles being opened and dad screaming over it. "You're turning into your damn father!" they could hear from the stairs where they played with dollies on motorcycles. "It's ridiculous how much booze a woman like you can put down. You're becoming an utter slob, too!"

"Shut up," they heard a slurred, feminine voice say. "It's only my second pack. And who's the slob? You don't even bother washing dishes when you finish making a mess on them!"

"That's nothin' compared to the stack of dirty laundry you leave around for the guests to see! I swear, if I see one more dirty sock-"

"Well, how about that fucking garbage you leave around the TV, huh? All those bags of Cheetoes and bottles of Pepsi aren't leavin' a good impression, either."

"Don't change the subject! What I'm getting at is that you're a filthy, disgusting alcoholic! You keep telling me it'll get better, it'll get better, no worries, but you just sit there and do nothing! Absolutely nothing! You wasted four years of your life getting a bachelors and you don't even bother to get a job!"

"What about you? You're no better. You get yours and you get your ass stuck in retail. You can barely even pay rent!"

"With YOU being a drain on my life, what did you expect? That everything would come out smelling like daisies?!?"

On and on, over and over. It happened a lot,but it always seemed to get worse on rainy days. This time, they could hear the sound of something breaking. Their hands trembled as they tried to focus on their dolls, pretending that they were a part of a motorbike gang. Maybe they rode the streets and gave starving kids ice cream. Or steak. Steak was nice. Not the one mom makes, though. Those were slimy and chewy. Kind of like how they imagined eating a car tire would be like.

The yelling became louder. Their hands trembled. They placed the dolls down, bringing their hands up to their ears. Imagine a happy place, they told themselves. Someplace really happy. An ice cream parlor in the middle of an island, wind brushing against their skin, sitting in a hot tub for longer than 15 minutes with sunglasses on...

"-I can't even belive how I even fell in love with a woman like you-"

Sunglasses? Yes, sunglasses. And flowers around their neck. A horse with a giant leaf in its mouth, waving it to fan them. Sun smiling down on them. Everything was fine-

"-bet you couldn't even pay child support if I left you-"

Everything was fine. Just sweating from the heat, that's all. Wow, so really, really hot. Bring another glass of water, horse. Yes, that's good. Lovely. Mm, tastes good-

"-ME? Take care of... No, you're out of your damn mind!"

Tastes... tastes really good. You're a good horse. Yes, yes you are a good horse. Please don't go. Please don't leave.

"It's not like I wanted the damn kid in the first place, but NO, your backup plan fucking FAILED, and now we're STUCK-"

Their heart stopped. Everything seemed to stop in that moment.

They ran. They didn't even know they could run so fast. Ran, ran, ran. It was too much. They were too much. Everything was too much.

Wasn't there a mountain? They heard it from the other kids at school. That it was cursed. That everybody who went up there was doomed to never return.


Yes, let's go there, they told themselves. Let's go, even if it takes forever.

After all... being gone would be better than staying home.

Spitfire

Dawn was possibly the worst time to wake up and go places. Streetlights were lit up, shining down on the streets, with morning dew settled on the potted plants that sat outside and survived the summer heat. Aside from that, though, nothing was open. The neon lights were shut off this early, laying dormant until the sun set; there was hardly anyone out, most of them staying in and snoozing their little lives away.

It was the always the time that Frank got out of bed and got all his necessities done. If you're gonna run a diner, you needed to open up early for those who wanted a bite of an egg sandwich before biking or driving their butts to work to work their 8 hours. Early bird gets the worm and all that. It had it's downsides, though: to be anywhere near functional, he'd have to prep up a coffee kettle, wait at the table and drum his fingers until he heard the coffee boil, and pour himself an entire cup to be barely functional. Repeat for half of another cup to be completely awake. Frank was damn sure that the dark brew was going to kill him faster than the cigs would, but it was a necessary evil at this point.

In about 30 minutes, he was ready to roll, with a silver pistol holstered on his side. Frank closed the door behind him as he left and walked down the sidewalk,  keeping under the streetlights whenever possible. He passed by brick and wood apartments, the plain janes in a city full of ritz. Passed by rival diners, with their ever familiar yellow and red logos sitting outside. Passed by fast food restaurants, with the few early morning cars lined up like a conga line, drivers ready to order a bite and get on the road. A cool breeze  blew by him, rustling his hair and clothes, a welcome feeling when you live way out in the desert. Strip joints were unusually quiet, and there was the occasional mutant sitting outside, like those with giant hands and others with  eyes all over their faces, having a smoke or just enjoying the outdoors.

Quiet, overall. Frank liked quiet.

Wasn't quiet for long, though, as he heard a soft chuckle coming from one of the alleyways, He glanced over, hand moving automatically to the holster, index finger on the cylinder.  He could hear the footsteps of two, three... four people, and the sound of a pipe being dragged across the ground.

 As the group of men started surrounding him, Frank studied them further: one looked like a rat-nosed punk, 'round five feet tall. Another, 5'4'' and looked like he got run over by the ugly truck, with a face only a mother could love. Third guy looked like he was the leader, bit shorter than the ugly one, but with a fierce look in his eye, a lion-like mane of hair around him. And the last was a big guy, bald like a cue ball, and a tower of beef and muscle. All of them wore matching leather jackets and black clothes; cue ball head had the pipe, leader had a pistol, and Rat had a bat.

 "Let's cut to the chase," the lion said, staring Frank right in the eyes. "Hand over all you have, and maybe we won't hurt you."

 Frank scoffed at him, not even flinching at his words. "How about this, kid," he said. "How about you go back home and fuck yourselves before you guys tick off the wrong guy?"

 He was sure he plucked a nerve, as now all of them were glaring at them, Leader pointing the gun at his forehead. "Cut the crap, bud, and hand it all over! Or I'll shoot!"

 Eyes locked on each other, neither man daring to look away.

 "Try me."

 Franky saw Lion's shaky grip and took advantage, dodging the bullet that flew out from the barrel. He drew his own pistol and put his finger on the trigger, eyes on the gun now. Bang. Gun flew out of the Leader's hand, out of his reach. Cueball  heaved up the iron pole and tried to smash it into his chest, but Frank rolled out of the way just in time. The big brute kept on swingin, hardly giving him a moment to get back up on his feet. Cueball was getting tired after a few swings, and Frankie took that moment to get up and try shooting his weapon out of his hands.  Guy had a strong grip, and he managed to get a hit on the ex-mobster, sending him reeling back. Rat and Ugly took their chance to gang up on him and land a few bat swings and punches while they were at it, laughing as blow after blow landed. Frankie wasn't amused at all and throttled Ratface with his free hand. Ugly didn't take too kindly to that and tried a haymaker, only to get a kick to the gut for his troubles. He doubled over, holding his stomach as Frank moved passed him towards the bigger threats.

Cueball let out a roar and swung his pipe again, Frank ducking under it  and moving behind him, Before Cueball could turn around, strange symbols appeared on Frank's arm, glowing with a soft blue light, tendrils of power sparking off from them. His gun glowed for just a moment as he aimed at the pipe and fired, a bright blue bullet flying out and striking the middle of it.

The tower of muscle turned his head towards the man and grinned as he was spared of the bullet. He began to turn around towards him, but he noticed a string of light  coming out from where the bullet lodged itself in the pole. He hardly had time to process it before the pole jerked  out of his hands and struck his windpipe. He tried clawing it off, ripping it off, but it kept pressing up against his neck, harder and harder. One last time, he tried, only for the pipe to fly back and smack him in the face, knocking him cold onto the ground.

The pipe flew over to Frankie now, where it dangled by a thread of light attached to his gun. A moment later, it clanged to the ground. As Rat and Ugly turned to face him and saw their buddy out could, the ex-mobster said with a smirk, "You're gonna end up like Muscles here if ya don't stop fuckin' around with me, kids. Last warnin': Fuck off, and I won't have to-"

BANG. Shot grazed his cheek. He looked back and saw that Leader had his pistol again. Wouldn't help him, though. Grip was still shaky, Leader pissed beyond relief. Heavy breathing, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.

Frankie focused on the gun, though. Listened to it. Lion wasn't shit without it. It spoke to him,whispered to him, told him secrets it dared not tell to its wielder. It only made Frankie grin even more.

The Leader didn't take too kindly to it. "What's so funny?" he demanded, "I'm about to shoot you and you're just. just... are you nuts?!"

 Man, he'd laugh if he had a chance. But no, time to end this. He aimed his gun at his again and said, "Maybe I am, but even your gun thinks you're a joke. Couldn't even shoot an ol' granny even if she was right in your face! And if ya can't even hit that, you've got no chance against me, kid.

But if ya wanna try, be my guest. Show me whatcha got, peabrain."

That did it. Leader fired off shot after shot after shot, rage overtaking him. His buddies scrambled on out, running as far as their legs could take them and hoping that none of the bullets ricochet  onto them. Frank, on the other hand, was dodging them just fine, like it was just a normal boogie on a dance floor. He counted down how many shots were left: Five, four, three... two... one.

Then none. The sweet sound of an empty cartridge rang through Frankie's ears. Horror dawned on the Leader's face as the ex-mobster approached him and grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt, close enough to breathe down his neck.

"Gonna let you off easy right now, punk," he said in a harsh whisper, ignoring the leader's pathetic whimpers. "But if you pull this shit on me again, you'll be eattin' a knuckle sandwich, if not lead down your goddamn throat. Got it?"

He loosened his grip, letting the punk go. Leader ran off fast as he could, dropping the gun he had on him on the ground. Frank walked over and picked it up, checking for any chips or any signs of damage.

 "Couldn't have done it without ya, bud," he said, putting both pistols away and patting down both of them like they were people. "You too, Nasina. Nah, don't get jealous; this guy is gettin' a new home to someone who knows what they're doin'. Real good home."

Dawn broke into sunrise, tinting all it touched a bright yellow. By the time Frank reached the Silver Diner, he couldn't help but smile as the sun gave the metal exterior a little color. Out came the keys. Into the lock they went, door swinging wide open from a gentle push.

"Hey, honey. Hope I didn't keep ya waitin' too long!"

Silver Diner

Another quiet day.

The red, cushioned barstools all lined up in a row were empty, the bartop gleaming from how pristine it was. The checkboard floor also shined, freshly waxed, not a speck of dirt to be seen anywhere. The lights were bright, highlighting the sleek, metal tables that stood underneath them, as well as the few faces that sat around in the cushy booths, chatting amongst themselves and smiling as they sank their teeth into a juicy burger.

There was the soft sizzle of the deep friers and grills in the kitchen,  the smell of freshly cooked meat wafting over the counters and throughout the diner. The waitresses greeted two or three more people who were coming in, pearly white smiles on their faces as they grabbed a couple menus and led them to their booths. One waitress, with long blonde hair tossed over her shoulder, her bangs parted and covering her right eye, lifted a finger and started counting how many people were in.

Seven total. That made about 20 today. Not bad, although not great, either. She couldn't remember a single time when this place was packed. No need for those fancy vibrating thingamabobs; wait times were nonexistant here, with how business was. She didn't mind it much; meant a lot more peace and quiet rather than the din of most rival diners. Made her head hurt, she swore.

As the night went on, the waitress nearly dozed off when a shriek pierced the silence. Her eyes flew wide open as she pinpointed the source: a young woman, kind of ritzy looking, staring down at her plate like she was witnessing the next coming of Satan. The waitress fixed herself up and strutted over as fast as she could on her high heels and asked, "Something the matter?"

"Th-That... that THING is the matter!" the woman yelled, pointing down on her plate. The waitress looked down as instructed. Nestled nicely in a bed of fries as a giant, fat roach, antennae twitching about. "I found it there, just as I was about to-"

The words went through one ear and out the other, as the waitress had a terrible thought decend upon her.

Frankie is going to kill us.

She swiftly picked up the plate and said, "Don't worry about a thing, I'll tell the cook to make another batch, 'kay? Just sit tight!" She ran so fast to the double doors that led to the kitchen like she was running from an angry dinosaur and turned towards the gaggle of cooks handling things. She could barely spit out, "Who made this?!"

Most of the cooks shook their heads. One of them slowly raised their hand. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked. "Did they complain that their fries are too soggy? I cooked them perfectly!"

"No, but there's a goddamn roach on them just sitting here. Do you know how much trouble we're in if we see just one roach and all? Do you know?!"

"It's just a roach, kill or something, Isabelle."

Shock turned to rage, and Isabelle hissed, "Make another batch before Frankie gets here. If he finds out we have a roach problem-"

SLAM. All the cooks nearly jumped out of their skin as the doors flew open. Isabelle looked back, then stared like a deer in headlights.

"So, what's all this blab about a roach problem, eh?" a man's voice rang out, standing above most of the cooks and Isabelle. He was dressed to the nines, with black hair slicked back, square frame glasses pushed up as far as they could go before sliding down the bridge of his nose. His dark brown eyes were fixed upon the diner crew, his cold gaze bearing down on them.

Isabelle was the first to recover and stammered, "Frankie, sweetie, how ya doin'? It isn't something you should be coming out and handling, oh no no no-"

"It's just one tiny little roach!" the cook shouted. "Someone complained about a roach! It isn't that big a deal, is it?"

Frankie slammed his fist onto a table and snapped, "Not that big a deal? You say it's not that big a deal?!  Maybe I should shove my fist up your ass, maybe that won't be that big a deal! For fuck's sake, if there's one, there's a fuckton more somewhere! And crawlin' on a customer's food?! Are you tryin' to get the Health Inspectors in, coz they'd find that this is a big fuckin' deal!"

"Just call an exterminator! Seriously!"

"With what money, you blockhead?!" Frankie yelled, shoving his way past to look the defiant cook in the face with a fierce look that rivaled a lion's "Maybe the bucks comin' out of your paycheck? I don't have cash flowin' out of my ears, and we barely stay in the black as it is! You know goddamn well we don't get much business here coz everywhere ya look, there's a brand name restaurant that's singin' swan songs  to bring in customers and make their wallets a helluva lot lighter than when they first get in! All they recognize are brand names, with only the locals swingin' by here for a bite! And you got the guts to tell me, when I know what the hell's goin on and own the damn place better than you know the girls you've been screwin' for the past few days, that I can just call an exterminator and it's all gonna smell like roses after, huh? Huh?!"

Isabelle put a hand on Frankie's shoulder and said calmly, "Now honey, you know that's going a bit too far. Take a deep breath, he's not worth it."

The cook stared right back at Frankie. "Well, you wanna know what I think?"

Panic set in. Isabelle and the other cooks started mouthing at him, "No, no! Don't say it! Don't you dare!"

"I think you're taking this shit way too seriously! All this over one, count 'em. ONE goddamn roach!"

It took all the remaining cooks and Isabelle's combined effort to restrain their boss before he could throw a punch. Whole kitchen was a mess, with screaming and yelling, mostly from Frankie.

"YOU  PIECE OF DOGSHIT THIS GODDAMN PLACE IS MY LIFE AND YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR DAMN JOB SERIOUSLY-"

It took a few minutes to calm him down, with one cook freed to remake the meal before the customer decided to leave. By closing time, all the customers were gone, and Frankie was taking out all his anger on that fat roach, crushing it in his grip as everyone else helped with cleanup. Isabelle skittered over to him, pale as a sheet, and said, "You hangin' in there, Frank?"

"If by that, ya mean not throttlin' that punk into a paste, I guess so," came the grumbly reply. If there was a roach in his hands, it was hardly recognizable as one anymore. "I swear, I feel like I'm bein' taken for granted, with this bullshit. One roach isn't a big deal, my ass. She's gonna get on yelp and downrate us for it, and we need all the good ratings we can get."

"I understand that you were over-the-moon pissed," Isabelle said, handing Frank a napkin to clean his hands off before brushing her hair back. "But let's not add another reason why the police should throw you back in jail. You did enough time after that whole crime syndicate thing, didn't you?"

The slick man pulled a box of cigarettes out from one of his pockets and pulled one out. "Not enough, accordin' to some," came the reply. "Some think I should have rotted in that hellhole. Others think I should be dead by now. I only got out from a stroke of luck, that's for damn sure." He then looked out the window, staring at all the people and cars passing them by, all the lights for other restaurants dimming until there was nothing. A solemn look replaced the anger as he placed the cigarette between his lips. "Didn't believe in second chances once. Now that I got one, though... I don't plan on wastin' it."

Isabelle shrugged and sighed. "You'll end up wasting it if you keep this up. Guy wasn't even worth it. You gotta be more careful and pick your battles, honey."

"Yeah, yeah, careful and all that. Can't go makin' myself some rope to hang myself with, can I?"

"Not at all. Now, what did ya plan on doin' tonight?"

"Goin' home and sleepin'. The usual. Writin' this knucklehead a pink slip. Got too many cooks in the kitchen anyway; don't need one messin' things up for everybody else. Stacy's good, though. Damn, she comes up with good ideas and cooks well, too. I mean, who ever heard of a Dragon Burger?! That was some good stuff, so I've heard. Gotta try one myself."

"You'd cry like a baby, honey," Isabelle said with a wink, picking up her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. "So, see ya tomorrow?"

"Same time, same place," Frank said with a smirk.

He watched as his workers left, leaving the diner as pristine as they found it. He took a moment to light up his cigarette and take it all in: the sights, the smells, the sounds... Just looking around the place at it's best calmed his nerves. And all of this was his responsibility, his pride and joy.

"See ya tomorrow," he said to himself before flicking the light switch.

Golden Concerto, Stage 3 [Final]

Touhou 14.7: Eastern Towers of Avarice ~ Golden Concerto

Now Loading. Please wait warmly until it is ready.

Stage 3:  Golden Gensokyo Torrents

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Gensokyo glowed with golden light.

It brought out the greedy beast of night.

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Gensokyo, Hakurei Shrine

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Home. Home at last. Reimu essentially flung herself at her shrine's step, groaning with pain as Kaito jogged up to catch up with her. Even if it was for a little while, she missed the wooden floor, the sliding doors, the little donation box, everything about her home. Home was where the heart is, after all.

All of the pain seemed to hit her at once as she flopped like a mermaid up the steps and onto the floor, coughing up puddles of blood from the injuries she sustained. 

"Fucking fuck," were the two words that escaped her mouth after a few moments.

"That's one way to put our situation," Kaito replied curtly, setting Sukuna down and taking a seat beside his friend. "Didn't think it would get this crazy. Doesn't look like the beast is here yet; what happened?"

Reimu turned over to her side while the little inchling pulled out a hammer and sat down as if praying to the gods.

"Probably being held up by the barrier a little bit, but he'll be here soon enough. Gotta get help before then."

"Aaaand you haven't called this help... why?"

"Cell phones are an antique in Gensokyo."

"What?!? How do you guys even live without cell phones?"

"Sanae asked me the same thing when she got here, and I told her, 'Very carefully.' Life here doesn't work the way you'd think." Reimu visibly relaxed as all of those bones she broke put themselves back together again, the pain ebbing away as if a tiny miracle was granted by the gods. She took a moment to sit up as she explained, "Basically, Gensokyo is the dumping ground of most things people stopped believing in, so that demons and fairies and stuff like that aren't out of a job or dying out there in the real world. Things used in the real world often are rare treasures here, and vice versa. But since magic is mostly accepted and there are crazy things out there that people actually believe in, the barrier is pretty relaxed and just about anybody can come and go if they wanted. Wasn't true when my ancestors were ruling; might have been more of a recent thing... can't exactly remember."

Kaito stared at her for a moment before raising an eyebrow. "So magic- like red magic and stuff - is a real thing here," he said slowly. "You don't happen to know anyone who can summon Satan, do you?"

"I know a vampire. She's actually not all that threatening; she's polite and enjoys flower viewing parties every once in a while with her maid, Sakuya. Her sister, though? Broke the bones of everyone she meets. That's probably the closest you'll get to Satan that isn't actually dead."

"What a relief!" the thief replied with a smile. "One time, I dealt with a witch that used red magic, and by sheer luck, I managed to get out of her trap! Apparently, she really wanted my heart-"

 Thump. Thump. Thump.

 The thundering footsteps interupted the pleasant conversation, Reimu jerking up and taking off into the skies. The golden beast was approaching, and fast.

 "Can't catch a break, can you?" the thief draped in white asked as he peeked behind the shrine and saw the beast for himself, taking out his Card Gun and glaring at the mountain of stolen wealth.

The shrine maiden couldn't help but smirk. The scent of an incident rose; the thrill of dealing with threats to Gensokyo rushed through her veins. Years of incidents flashed through her mind in mere moments. All of the solved cases, all of the dramatic finales... Relived in minutes.

 And so she replied, "Wouldn't have it any other way!"

 Yin yang orbs surrounded  her as they fired off barrages upon barrages of tags at Greed, sending a few bigger tags to create barriers to hold off his approach. The beast roared and slammed himself against the barriers, his sheer weight enough to break them. When one was broken, though, more too their place, and he found himself pelted with smoke bombs of all sorts to throw him off. 

 Yes, this would do. Hold him off. Wait until the news spread through the tengu. Let the incident be known. All these boring stall tactics only had one purpose, as it felt like ages passed before the beast finally reached the shrine, ready to engulf all in its path.

 That reason became rather obvious when time seemed to slow down, and a streak of light crossed one of Greed's arm. When time resumed its normal pace, the entire arm was lopped off, distracting the mountain with worry before pink lasers and butterflies barraged its side.

 Reimu grinned at the newcommers and shouted, "Took you long enough, you two!"

"Sorry, Lady Yuyuko was just finishing up a meal when Aya reported the incident," replied the swordswoman, Youmu Konpaku, as she went and struck the other arm. Bikes and eletronics seemed to flow out of the beast like it was his blood, although he easily reformed his arms.

"It was a super yummy bento box~" added the ditzy ruler of the Netherworld, Yuyuko Saigyouji, as she waved a fan and distracted the beast with colorful butterflies before kicking him in the head.  "Sooooorrry, Reiiiiimooo~ I won't be late again!"

"Long as you're here, I'm good, Yuyu!" Reimu said happily, emphasizing her feelings with  giant homing tag to Greed's face and a flying hug right around her ghost companion. 

 Kaito smiled at the two before the golden beast reared up again, holding his arms up as high as they could go. Greed clapped his hands, summoning a tidal wave of muck and valuables that swept away all in its path: shrine, girls, and thief. Kaito shot at him, but was a moment too slow; the beast jumped out of the way (jeez, how could that glob even jump?)  and slammed down near the girls, gunk and gold bars flying everywhere and smacking them in their faces. Kaito quickly got back on his feet and fired off more cards, but one of Greed's arms formed a golden shield that protected him from the barrage.

 Reimu and her friends flew out of the gunkpile, bruised. In Reimu's case, she wasn't harmed too much, but she was madder than ever. "You fucking swept away my shrine, you piece of shit!" the shrine maiden yelled,  calling forth colorful orbs around her. "I'll kick your ass!"  The Fantasy Seal crashed right into the beast's shield, but the lights blinded him for just a moment. One moment was all it took for Youmu to take advantage and thrust her sword into his eye and Yuyuko to attack from behind with a fan of lasers.

 Greed roared with pain, clutching at his face as gold and valuables leaked out of the newly made wound. The shrine maiden took this chance to fire as many talismans  at him as possible. Sword slashes and angry energy butterflies assaulted him from every angle, not helped by actual bombs flung at him. When he had enough, he swept his mighty arms around and around, not hitting any of his targets, but sweeping his arms around the ground.

"The hell is he doing?" Reimu asked. "We're all the way up here!"

 "He might be making a tornado," Youmu pointed out, her eyes tracking the beast's movement. "Although it might be too slow for that."

 "Maybe he's doing a dance!" Yuyuko said cheerfully. "You know, 'swing your arms from side to side~' "

"Uh, he's not doing the Mario, if that's what you're asking, Lady Yuyuko."

 Too late. Yuyuko was already swinging her arms and having fun dancing in the sky. Reimu would have laughed, but she noticed both her and Kaito watching the beast intently. Or rather, they were looking at where his arms went.

 Before Greed could finish another sweep, Kaito shot cards at his face. Greed, on reflex, went up to guard it, while Yuyuko glared at the beast, holding up one of her fans to hide her lips.

 "You noticed it too, didn't you?" she asked the thief. "How he became bigger with each sweep?"

  Kaito smirked. "Doesn't take much to notice that, Lady Yuyuko," he replied. 

 "What are you guys talking about? He didn't get any bigger!" Reimu yelled out. "He couldn't have!"

 "Then tell me, Reimu: where'd all the stuff that gushed out of his body go?"

 Reimu was about to snap at Kaito, but instead took a moment to look around. Her eyes widened when she noticed that all the bikes, the china plates, the gold... All of the stuff he flung at them, gone. Back into the body in which it came. Not only that, bits and pieces of her shrine seemed to be missing...

 Wait. If he only absorbed valuable stuff... 

 Reimu became as pale as Yuyuko as she flew over to the shrine. "SUKUNA!" she cried out. "Sukuna, are you alright?!"

 Pop, went the little inchling as she flew up out of the shrine in a little tiny bowl. She didn't look too happy, though. "I'm okay," she said, "but I dropped my hammer when the thing swept away the shrine, and I think it went into the golden river thing!"

 Reimu bit back her anger for the moment. "Right, then get somewhere safe; things are about to get really ugly."

Sukuna nodded and flew off a fair distance away, leaving Reimu to give the monster her best deathglare.

 "I brought you here to Gensokyo, and the first thing you do is cause trouble," she said quietly, in icy tones. "You attack my friends, you damaged my shrine, and now you took the pride and joy of my friend's clan of inchlings... 

I'm through playing around."

Greed may not have possibly understood a word she said, but it isn't hard to understand than giant, glowing orbs to the face means pain. He staggered backwards before trying to punch the tiny shrine maiden, only for another barrage of Fantasy Seals to nail him in the face. Greed brought up the Miracle Mallet into his hands and tried to smash Reimu with it, but she grazed the blow and unleashed another barrage of danmaku for him to chew on.

While Reimu had the beast distracted and Yuyuko started cheering for her, Kaito looked over at Youmu and said, "Hey, got a minute?"

 The half human, half ghost floated down to the thief's side, eyebrow raised. "Yes, but aren't we in the middle of something?"

 "Oh, sure we are! Listen, though: are there any big bodies of water around here? Lakes, rivers, waterfalls?"

 Youmu dodged a stray blast from Reimu's spell cards as she thought. "The closest one would probably be the lake in front of the Scarlet Devil Mansion... but why do you ask?"

 A lake. Perfect. A sly smile crossed the thief's face. 

 "Help me lure him there and I'll show you why~"

 That certainly didn't ease Youmu's worries, but if it could help... She flew up and bapped Greed on the back of the head with the hilt of her sword to get his attention. The beast turned to her and tried to smash her with his arms, but she flew out of his range. He inched closer and tried again, and again, and again, but the girl was too quick, too nimble to be touched. Reimu was confused about this tactic: usually it was better if Youmu outright cut him up. 

 Then she remembered: the beast could regenerate. It would have been worthless, anyhow. And if the beast regenerates from collecting valuables, what better way than to lure him away from them? 

 So Reimu, instead, started using her barrier spells, conjuring barriers to try to push the beast away, towards wherever Youmu and Kaito were going. She was soon joined by Yuyuko, although her idea of pushing was by conjuring phantoms to actually push him away.

 Little by little, the group got ever closer to the lake through their collaborative efforts: Youmu and Kaito grabbing his attention, while Reimu and Yuyuko pushed.  When they were near the edge of the lake,  Kaito whistled, getting the beast's attention on him now. It's time for the final push.

 From his pocket, he pulled out a brilliant gem, blue and bright. It shined in the moonlight, almost pulsing like a human heart. Greed couldn't help but look, hands reaching out for this stunning rock.

 "You want it?" taunted the thief as he held up the fake Blue Behemoth. "Then go get it!"

 He tossed the gem up and over his shoulder. Time seemed to slow as Youmu, Greed, and Yuyuko watched the gem fall from the sky

 And into the lake.

 "MIIINE!!!" Greed boomed, ignoring everything around him as he lept up and dove into the lake. "MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!" They could all see the bits and pieces of the golden muck that made up Greed's body dissolving in the lake. All the stuff he had collected while rampaging through Gensokyo and Tokyo either sank out of his body and to the bottom to the lake, or floated on up to the surface. Reimu saw the Miracle Mallet float up and soared down to grab it, and watched as the sad, pitiful kaiju shrink as he struggled so hard to get something that only looked valuable on its surface.

 Soon enough, he floated up. Not as a kaiju, but as a pathetic blob of mud that clung so tightly to the fake Blue Behemoth.

 "mine" he still chanted, even as Reimu grabbed it with a look of disgust. "mine mine mine mine mine"

 "Oh, shut up," Reimu grumbled before wrapping the blob in a talisman and putting him in her pocket. She then turned to Kaito and Youmu and said, "Good thinking, you two! If we had kept at it like we were before, we would have gotten nowhere."

 Youmu pointed over to Kaito and said, "Well, it was more of his idea to lure him here..."

 "What a clever boy he is!" Yuyuko squealed before pulling everybody into a group hug. "But it's through our teamwork we did it, right? Yaaaaaaaaay! We should celebrate with a big party~"

 "Heh, only expect the best from me, Kaito Kuroba~" the thief said with a grin to match his giant ego. "Nothing to it!"

 "Says the one who couldn't tell a real gem from a fake," Reimu sniggered.

 "Least the fake came in handy, huh? Gotta make use with what I have!"

 "Sure, sure. Well, lets get some help putting the shine back where it should be, then we can party hard!"

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And so, Reimu did invite everybody to her shrine, after repairing it, to have a night of fun. She sealed the blob away in Makai, leaving him to enjoy his little fake rock. Kaito, Reimu, and everybody else partied the night away, drinking and telling ghost stories (much to Youmu's dismay), and having good food together.

In Makai, though... 

"How pitiful, how you value such a worthless gem.

Pitiful how your strength was outdone by cleverness.

Much power, you have. Power enough to destroy all of Gensokyo. But no mind to wield it well. A mere shell of a person, you are.

I seek that power. Power to take all that you desire. Take me in, and I shall be the mind to lead you to a path of glory, and of riches. A path in which you can cut down the annoying blades of  grass that hamper you with ease!

I... Ame-no-Murakamo... shall help satisfy your greed, and rain death upon those who wish to take what is rightfully yours!"

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PRESENT DAY, LAS VEGAS

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"Any sign of that dumb blob thing, Kaito?"

 "Nope, not at all. I'm sure that if he escaped from the seal and wants all the cash he could get, it has to pass by here! No doubt about it!"

 "Ugh, and I thought it would hold up. Then whoop, it fucking breaks in Feburary and he runs the hell off. And Yukari was too busy being a lazy shit to do anything about him! Dumb hag!"

 "No use worrying about it now. We'll have our chance to get back at him, I just know it! So for now, stop getting so angry and irritated. Can't be good for your beautiful complexion~"

 "Shut your damn piehole or I'm locking you in an aquarium."

 "Y-you wouldn't! You couldn't do that to me! No, you can't do that to me! You know I have a giant phobia of fish-

... That look tells me you would."

 "Damn right. Now shut up and go to your volunteer job at the animal shelter! You still have 900 hours to work on for community service! Chop, chop!"

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Thank you for playing the Golden Concerto Demo! 

Please wait warmly as we finish the full version.

Look out for the last three stages during the Roleplaying Season~