Aqua Princess Rita: Issue 2

It’s another beautiful day in the wondrous Tara City! The skies were blue, the sun was shining, there was a stampede of angry bears…

Even the resident monarch isn’t quite sure how so many bears breached the castle city’s perimeters, but here they were! They were raiding grocery stores, garbage cans, and famous clothing stores alike, snagging all the merchandise they can get their paws on. Several heroes have appeared to handle the fuzzy menace, like Stretchyarms McGee and Mr. Sparklehands! Even with their combined powers, though, it surely isn’t enough to stop 100+ bears from shoplifting $500 dollars’ worth of merchandise! Who would surely save Tara City from this fiasco?

Rita Shepard would have done so, if she didn’t take the 8-5 shift at the local coffee shop. She was hoping to get enough shots of espresso to see Nirvana before she got off, her eye twitching as a resident fashionista took advantage of a free drink to order the longest, most complicated coffee drink in existence while there was a line starting to stretch outside the store.  On the outside, she smiled and nodded as she got her barista on, but on the inside, she pretended to be a witch that hexed this woman into working the horrors of retail.

At least the bears wearing designer dresses were nice enough to leave a 5 dollar tip as they ordered tea with honeycombs (“We actually have those? Huh.”). Rita didn’t bat an eye at them as they sat down and chatted with grunts and snorts. Not that there was any time to, with all the people coming in!

After what felt like eons, 5 o clock came, and her one and only savior walked right in: a short girl who reminded Rita of a forest fairy, with her long brown hair and freckled face. Rita’s hand flew to her heart for a moment as her coworker turned to her and gave her a wink. The urge to give her a hug was strong, but Rita decided it was better to just clock out and go.

Unfortunately, the bear situation was not under control in the least.  Rita briefly wondered what the hell Kamen Rider was doing in a situation like this.

“Guess this isn’t one of those giant monster fights he loves so much,” she grumbled as she touched the necklace the old lady gave her a week ago. It glowed a brilliant blue before power surged through her body. Nothing else changed aside from gaining a blue aura around her, which was a bit disappointing. She had hoped to get an elaborate magical girl transformation by now, at least!

She didn’t really need that to get a head start on the heroics business though, right? Then maybe Kamen Rider would actually give her the respect she deserved!

Nothing to it, then. Rita held up her hands and scared away bears with jets of water, trapped rowdier bears in big ol bubbles, and interrogated kinder bears as to why they suddenly decided to rise up and raid. Granted, she wasn’t getting much information out of their grunts, but anything helps, right?

After shooing away bear cubs trying to steal candy from a three year old, Rita finally finds the source of the trouble: a massive man in regal clothing… covered in bear fur. Even his top hat was made from bear fur and had a tiny bear emblem on the side, and he held a cane with that same emblem engraved at the top. With each wave of his cane, the bears struck, snagging all they could get from nearby stores.

Tired of seeing the rampant theft, Rita confronted him and shouted, “Halt, you… you butt! Stop this now, or you’re gonna regret it!”

She could have done that a lot better, given the snooty look that man was giving her. “Oh, here to stop me, the great BEARON? Please. You could BEARLY handle my power!”

He was right. She couldn’t handle it. The puns were too horrible. So as he sent waves of bears at her, she was quickly overrun. Her water powers may have been able to handle individual bears just fine, but a group of them all at once? Nooot at her skill level.

The Bearon laughed at her suffering, reveling all too much in it. “How is that, honey? Do you find this situation to be absolutely… unbearable? Maybe a little barbearic?!  Regardless, it is impossible to fight me, when I have a bearier in the way! Ohohohohoho!”

Annoyed at the constant mauling and the horrible puns, Rita finally gathered enough power to shower the bears in bubble blasts. They fell back, giving Rita enough time to run past them and towards the Bearon. With the wish to protect the city from bear attacks and terrible bear puns, Rita summoned a watery whip and lashed it out at the Bearon.

SMACK!

The Bearon fell to the ground, his top hat falling off his head. He was definitely still breathing, but he was out like a light. No wonder he needed bears to protect him! The bears snapped out of their fury, suddenly confused as to why they were wearing suits and eating hamburgers.

After cleaning up some of the streets and returning the stolen goods to their respective stores, Rita went home to feed her beloved master, Mr. Kitty. The two of them watched the news report on the bear attacks, Rita swooning as she saw Mr. Sparklehands pose for everyone. There were a few comments on her, but none of them really stood out. Just the typical “there’s a NEW hero in town!” thing. They didn’t even mention her by name!

Oh, wait. She still didn’t come up with a name. Or have an outfit. Oh god oh god oh god how was she going to get noticed if she didn't  even have THAT?

Maybe she should ask the oracle for help...

---------------------------------

(Following up on this comic is a picture of Rita in a bear-inspired princess outfit, with the words underneath: Beautiful Bearoness Rita, Protector of Bear City.

Another comic follows, with a picture of a super detailed bear wearing a dress, blue-framed glasses and a sunhat, holding a tablet in her paws.

"actual picture of me while making this issue, please enjoy"

-Bear Commissioner )