Sometimes, though, you just gotta go back down to the root. Where would we be without the Atari or the NES? Sure, I bet most modern day players can't sit down for a game with drastically lower graphics standards ("8 bit? Seriously? LAAAAAAAAME" ) and gameplay standards. Or games that don't actually tell you what to do, they let you dick around and find out yourself. ("But maaa, I want my hand held!" ) But as someone who
For a second, take a look at all those Mario RPG games. Two separate series run together: Paper Mario (with the most recent version being Sticker Star) and Mario and Luigi (with Dream Team). Paper Mario boasts the cutesy, 2D artstyle and introduced the Badge system, where you can do more than jump and hammer your way through enemies. They also had the partner system, where Mario had help in the form of 7 partners, all with unique movesets and abilities that could be used to solve puzzles outside of the battlefield. Mario and Luigi features Mario and his leaner brother, Luigi. That particular series focuses more on using well-timed team attacks to wear bosses down, as well as squishing the hell out of your brother with a hammer to get through some puzzles. Both bros were unique in one way or another (Luigi rocks his stashe, compared to Mario), and, occasionally, had their own special attacks! (Firebrand and Thunderhand, anyone? No? )
Both share the fabled "Timed Hits", where pressing the A (or B) button just before you hit an enemy (or an enemy hits you) dishes out (or lessens) the amount of damage you give (or take). They mix it all up in one way or another, but that one common link begs the question: Where did it even originate?
Enough stalling. Say hello to the grandpappy of all ya'lls favorite Mario RPGs!
Call me incredibly biased. To be honest, I am. I just recently completed a successful No-Armor run of this game. Not only that, it was one of the very first games I learned about from my elder brother. Ah, yes, just going up to the attic of an old house to find my brother playing this on the ZSNES, just when its revealed that a certain someone is NOT A FROG! (Say WHAT?)
This game is what started the timed hits sensation and led Nintendo into thinking that doing this again without Square's help in the form of Paper Mario was a great idea. It had all you ever wanted: Active gameplay, decent graphics, a story about a poor plumber who got wrapped up into repairing a Star Street or whatever... The works. Square Enix (or just Square at the time) helped out, and even left a little cameo for us.The whole world of SMRPG is huge, full of colorful characters that you're bound to remember in one way or another.
All RPGs are about strategy, and SMRPG was no exception. Each enemy has strengths and weaknesses, yadda yadda. But you were never left wishing for an auto-battle, like in Final Fantasy, where you just input commands and just sit back and watch the fireworks. Oh no. You better time your attacks right if you want that annoying enemy to go down in one (or two or more) hits before he unleashes an attack you can't counter. Died and you don't have Peach yet? Should have stocked up on Pick Me Ups! Your inventory is limited to 29 slots, you don't get much HP OR many levels to begin with (255 is the cap for HP; 30 is the level limit. There is only ONE character who might even get close to 255 HP, but we'll get there in due time.), so you better plan ahead! (and time those Group Hugs right, goddamn it)
No game is without its flaws, though. It was all more noticible when I had to start paying attention to what bonus stats (like in Paper Mario and Mario and Luigi) I had to give to my characters. You see, I was doing a No Armor run, where all I had to rely on was my weapons and my accessories. I had to time my guards just right, because if I didn't, someone was bound to hit the floor.
Except that, well, in said run, I didn't struggle in the first 3/4ths of the game. Sure, some bosses made me waste a Pick Me Up or two, but even without armor, they were a joke. And if they were a joke without armor, imagine it without armor. Overrall, the game is pretty easy once you get the hang of things, so self-imposed challenges for it end up being the norm. The game is also oddly balanced, as the token white mage, Peach, ends up having more attack power than the token Black Mage (which you get so much earlier), Mallow. Geno, much like his creator Gaz (and possibly..Square?) said, is an overpowered shithead who has two specials you ever really need him to do: Geno Boost (BOOSTS ALL STATS OMG) and Geno Whirl (which makes a complete joke out of Exor).
All in all, though? Even through all easy peasy-ness and laughing at how pathetic I made some bosses look, I throughly enjoyed the game again, like a child after he rediscovers his favorite toy. I found some things that I never discovered before as a child (and teenager), which amazes me to this day. I still haven't done 99 Super Jumps or got all the hidden treasures, but all in due time, right? Warrants another playthrough, at least!
I can't give a fair rating, due to how I finished the game again recently. That'll have to simmer down before I can. I can, though, give a rating to the No Armor challenge...
10/10, would do again. Smithy actually felt like more of a final boss with his stupidly huge amounts of HP. I think it took me the better part of an hour to beat him with no armor. And there were several bosses in the late game that gave me trouble. Oh yes, I'd do it again in a heartbeat, if only to experience that thrill of saying "OH JESUS FUCK HE KILLED MALLOW"
Many fucks were given this run. Trust me.
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE CAST! Skip this if you just want to learn more about the biggest troublemakers in my No Armor run.
MARIO, the BIG FUCKING HERO: You know what he looks like, he's right there on the box! Bah, whatever.
"Its-a me, Mario!"
Mario's the star of this RPG, and he won't let you forget it. He's well balanced and packs a punch in battle. With his mighty Jumps (which apparently warrent their own element) and Fireballs, no enemies can stand in his way and live to tell the tale. His Magic Defense is kind of shit, but he makes up for it with plenty of normal defense and attack power.
For a character who can't talk, he's pretty expressive, too! Not even 20 minutes into the game and you see him playing Charades like a pro. He can even do a pretty good Exor impression! Some of his dialog options are hillarious, too. I'll be sure to show those off in my Let's Play of the game. (Which is another reason why I can't fairly judge this game at the moment. Derp.)
Here are his stats at end-game levels in my No Armor run:
Pictured: The destroyer of matter and antimatter himself.
MALLOW, WHO IS NOT A TADPOLE (Oh noooo):
"Who do think you are, Bruce Lee? We can't go in fists ablazing!"
Mallow is the first party member you recruit, after a mobster dinosaur stole his Frog Coin. His specialty doesn't lie in in his attack power, but rather in his Magic Attack. He is the Black Mage (or is it Red Mage?) of the group, capable of dealing both single target and multi-target damage. As he's actually a Cloud, most of his attacks are based off of the weather, such as Thunderbolt and Snowy. I guess Star Rain counts too, if you consider Meteor Showers to be part of it. He can heal, he can show enemy HP, he can do damage... What's not to love about him? Zero. He was my go-to guy throughout the entire game because of his versitility. Sure, his defense and attack leave a lot to be desired, but I don't care, I LOVE MY MAGES. BRING MALLOW BACK GODDAMN IT
Sadly, much as I love him, I can understand why some players decide to ignore him and instead go for a different party. But before I go into that, endgame stats!
He's a bit on the slow side, so he'll usually get his turn last, but man. Look at that Magic Attack! That Magic Defense! He's a true mage, through and through. Nevermind the fact that it doesn't get a boost like Attack does (As far as I know, there are no weapons and/or armor and accessories that boost Mg. Attack), he will go straight out Thor on your ass if you're not careful. And HP Rain is the strongest single target healing there is. Hell. yeah.
But enough about him, lets introduce the person everybody would like to see somewhere else but never will.
GENO, SQUARE'S POSTER CHILD:
"My name is *HEART STAR SQUARE NOTE*, but that's hard to pronounce, so you may call me Geno, after the doll."
Ugh. I'll be honest with you: I don't like Geno. No, its not because of his character. His character is fine, just straight laced like a protector of the Star Road should be. Its not because of his looks, because eeeh. No, the reason I hate him is because he gets insane stat boosts per level, moreso than any other character in the game. His growths are all over the place. He has insane power, enough to rival Mario and Bowser. THIS is the character most people use to cheese out Exor and hard enemies, because with perfect timing, Geno Whirl does 9999 damage.
Think about that. No other special in the game, not even boss specials, even come close to this damage cap. No boss even has that much HP. This guy, if there wasn't a limit placed on him, could probably solve the crisis on his own by tearing each and every enemy straight in half. Coupled with Geno Boost, which boosts all stats aside from Speed with perfect timing, he is an absolute terror to any and all he meets.
Which is exactly why I banned him in my No Armor run and my Let's Play. He is simply too overpowered. I can't just let myself use something that makes the game easier than it already is. If other people want to use him, fine! He's definitely a powerhouse in all aspects. Hell, he might even be essential for Low Level Runs and Speedruns. What do I know? But because he makes a complete joke out of Mallow due to his high stats overrall (and maybe Bowser, too), I just couldn't bring myself to use him.
TL;DR: Geno is an overpowered shit and baaaw he makes Mallow look like a joke. I'm pretty sure he's a god trapped in a doll's form.
Endgame stats:
See? His Attack rivals Mario's. His base attack is even HIGHER than Mario's. And he has 239 HP, compared to everybody else. Everybody else has lower than 200 HP.
Geno's the only one who will possibly even get close to the HP cap. This is not helped by the fact that I put in all the bonus stats in HP for him, as it would be pointless to put it in anything else when I'm not using him.
He'll probably hit it around lvl 27, I'll check. Maybe.
Next up...
BOWSER, WHO MUST HAVE DRANK A LOT OF BOOZE TO BE THIS CHILL:
"I'm lightning in a bottle! I'm an earthquake in a can!"
or
"Like the sun over
the moon, my brain and power
are lost to these fools."
Bowser's another favorite. Its probably enhanced by how cool he was in Bowser's Inside Story, but guess what started it? SUPER MARIO RPG, RESPECT. Or don't? I dunno. He lacks in the magic department (he only gets 4 spells total, which is sad), but he makes for it with massive defense, massive HP, and great attack power. He will gladly terrify you and rip you apart from the seams! Hell, he's the sole reason Johnathan Jones, in the sunken pirate ship, was a complete joke. His spells concentrate more on status effects, such as Fear (lowers attack and defensive power) and Poison, but that's more than enough to leave enemies in the dust.
Everybody seems to ignore him, though. Not players, but the characters. He broke down a door for you, Mario! Thank him, dammit! He also gets his keep stolen and has a hard time comprehending stuff about the Star Road. He might be a bit of a dolt, but who gives a shit? Bowser time, baby! He scares off his own minions and confuses them! He crushes enemies underneath his foot! He is Bowser, King of Koopas, and this world is HIS! (or so he thinks)
Endgame stats:
I take that back, Mallow's the second slowest character. Bowser's a slow tank. Literally. Sadly, while his base attack fucks over Mario and Geno, their weapons are much better than his Spiked Link. Maybe if I had gotten the Drill Claw instead of Rock Candy...
Oh yeah, wasn't there a last person?
PRINCESS PEACH TOADSTOOL, THE ULTIMATE HEALER:
"I-I'm not scared of you! I have Mario by my side!"
Keep telling yourself that, Peach. Keep telling yourself that.
Peach is clearly what white mages aspire to be: The best. Group Hug and Therapy removes status effects and heals for a significant amount. She learns the only revival spell in the game, which will save you inventory space if you have her on your team. A breeze can make her keel over, but by god, she will hug you until you are okay again. She also learns status causing effects, which could be more useful if more bosses could be affected by them. Also Psyche Bomb, but who needs that when you have Mallow?
There is one way to make her essentially invincible, though... and that is this setup: Frying Pan (gotten as a Metal Plate from a Toad in Moleville for 300 coins), Lazy Shell, Safety Ring. Frying Pan lets her do significant damage (for a white mage). Lazy shell negates essentally all physical damage and some magical damage. Safety Ring makes her immune to status effects, OHKOs, Fire, Lightning, AND Water based spells.
Peach doesn't take shit from nobody. Other than that, she's still the innocent, naive princess we all know she is. Although her performance here and in the SSB games leaves us to wonder... if she has that much potential, why doesn't she just fuck Bowser up?
Endgame Stats:
Well, uh... oh. I should have leveled her. (I had just finished fighting Culex after this, WHY DIDN'T YOU LEVEL THEN? )
hold on a sec
Better. Yeah, her attack is beyond even Bowser's, which is insane. Why would you balance it so that Peach's endgame weapon is much more powerful than Bowser's penultimate tier weapon? WHY IS SHE MORE POWERFUL THAN MALLOW, WHO YOU HAD ALL GAME? WHAT.
Her Magic attack rival's Mallow's, as it should. Her Magic Defense is also pretty good, too. Defense is still shit, though, so try not to toss her in a fight full of hard hitters.
Skipped all that to see who gave me the most trouble? Good thinking. Remember, though, this is from a NO-ARMOR run. It may be less hard or harder, depending on what kind of challenge you are imposing on yourself (or if you have a challenge at all).
BELDUM, PART DEUX: He's the first boss that really gave me a run for my money. I forgot to put on Wake Up Pins, which prevents whoever is equipped with it immunity to sleep. Everybody fell asleep, leaving them entirely vulnerable to attacks by two Mallow clones more than willing to dish out major pain. I salvaged it (thank god for Pick Me Ups and Mallow's high magic def), but that was only a taste of what was to come...
AXEM RANGERS: They gave me my first game over. MY FIRST ONE. MY PERFECT RECORD, TARNISHED! That was mostly my fault, though, as I took a risk and used Psyche Bomb on all of them. Unfortunately, three of those rangers counter attack specials, so Peach was as good as toast. Once she was gone, the entire team tore through Mario and Bowser like butter. Fuck. My second run went so much better without the counter attacks, to nobody's surprise.
EXOR: No Geno Whirl, here! Had to bring Peach, as he had plenty of multi-target specials that Mario and Mallow have trouble surviving. (Corona comes to mind, but that might be me being biased because of a certain boss.) Even then, she had trouble surviving herself, due to the Left Eye's physical attacks. I had no time to waste on killing everything. More time wasted, the longer the battle would be in trying to take out Exor. It took me about 5 tries before I actually managed to get a good strategy for taking him down.
SMITHY (both forms): Oh, christ, where do I even begin? He actually felt like a final boss. He created minions that were dealing enough damage that if I didn't heal up, I was screwed the next turn. All of his attacks bypassed Peach's Safety Ring. He knew how to use the most powerful spell in the game, Meteor Shower. (Or was it Meteor Storm? The one with colorful stars, mind) If that wasn't enough, his true form was nailing with powerful physicals and devastating non-elemental spells. The body had to be taken out first, while I had to whittle away at his HP in either his Defense form or Mage form. It took the better part of an hour to actually break down his massive 7000 HP to nothing, finished off by Mallow's Sonic Cymbals. That fight alone made me use up more of my Pick Me Ups than I ever thought I'd ever have to use. And I would gladly do it again for that massive thrill of...what was that? A challenge!
CULEX: Square's cameo from Final Fantasy II. He is matter. He is antimatter. He consumes time, yadda yadda.
Fuck this guy. I once tried fighting him as a kid, and I bombed. Pretty hard. I never faught him again, afraid to take him on with his posse of crystals. Seriously, those crystals will fuck your shit up, and not even Red Essences will save you for long. (Thanks, Shredder!)
I really wanted to record myself fucking him over, but two things got in the way: One, I had no idea how much HP he had, so I had to use a stats-only guide to figure out a strategy. Seeing how I never learned much about him, I had to give myself some advantage. Second, a certain Cornwind Evil was talking to me on skype about the No Armor run. Afraid that someone else might contact me out of the blue, I stopped recording.
Then the magic happened and I didn't catch it on tape. Sorry dudes.
ANYWAY, Culex is harder in that most of his attacks are unblockable. You can't do jack shit against magic. Mario, Peach, and Mallow carried me through, although Mario and Mallow kept falling like flies. Peach kept the entire team together, as she had the almighty Safety Ring, which protected her from 3/5 different attacks from all angles. Group heal. Frying pan when she has time. Whenever Mallow was up, he used Star Rain (as the Wind Crystal has stupidly low HP but stupidly high defense) to weaken everybody, Shocker to take down the Earth Crystal, Snowy to take care of everything (specifically the Fire Crystal), HP rain to heal up, or just use a Royal Syrup. Mario was either healing or doing damage.
The Earth Crystal (due to its attacks that couldn't be negated with the Safety Ring) and Fire Crystal (130-150 DAMAGE USING GODDAMN CORONA, FUCK THAT GUY) were the biggest issues, but I had to take out the weaker crystals before I had a shot. Once all the crystals were down, though, Culex was easy pickings.
So yeah. Mario essentially defeated Matter and Antimatter all in one. Mario's pretty proud of that.
And with that, this review comes to an end. If anybody has any questions about different things about my run(s), I'm available on skype (or just leave a comment).
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