-----OLD HAN'S GYMNASIUM-----
Ring, ring. Click.
"Yo, Scarlet here. Sup?"
"Hii, it's me, Tina! Guess whaaaat~?"
"You kidnapped puppies while you were out?"
"It was pretty tempting, but no. Guess again!"
"Found a nice AK-47 that shoots out lightning bolt bullets?"
"I wish! One more try!"
"Damn girl, this is tricky... hmm... Found a short knight to date?"
"Closer..."
"He's really short?"
"Hey, don't be mean! He's not that short!"
"Ohoho, guess you're putting your cute aura to work, huh? Well, good on ya to find a date, whoever he is. Or she is. I forget your preferences. But aren't ya supposed to be busy?"
"Well, I am busy, Scarlet!
....Busy getting married to Satoshi~! Listen to those wedding bells ring! Ooh, it's my turn, sorry I couldn't make you my bridesmaid so soon! I'll talk to you laaater!"
Click. The phone dropped to the ground with a thud, catching the attention of every workout-aholic in the room. The buffcubus turned to her dullahan companion, who was busy drinking one particularly huge bottle of a protein shake, while his prinnies tried lifting dumbells.
"Oi, cheesehead."
The dullahan's head twisted 180 degrees, towards her.
"Yeeeeesss?"
"You're responsible for paying off Satoshi's and Tina's honeymoon vacation spot now."
He stared, his grip on the protein shake loosening.
"Please tell me you're joking."
"Nah, she just called me. They're getting hitched, and I'll be damned if I don't buy all those wedding gifts! Need to get me a good wedding dress too..." The succubus looked down on herself, then added, "Probably tailored. I'm stupid tall and nobody makes things in my size."
The shake dropped, Gonzales zipping over and catching it before it hit the ground. Gluttony paled, his jaw slack from shock.
"Th-th-that's not fair!" he whined, his small hair antennae drooping like wilted flowers. "I was the one who wanted to go with Satoshi there and get lucky with him! That's... that's... Ooooh, that sneaky little Tina!"
He puffed his cheeks up in anger while Scarlet gave him a blank stare.
"Soooo... you're gay for Satoshi?"
"No," Gluttony admitted,"but my, it would have been quite an opportunity to tease him! If I had known you had to get hitched to get anywhere in there, I would have went in a heartbeat, ohohoho~"
"Well, good for you, but you're still paying for the honeymoon, right?"
Gluttony stared back at her.
"Me? Don't be ridiculous. The most I'm paying for is their catering service!"
Some gym enthusists looked on in wonder as Scarlet proceeded to crack her knuckles... and every other part of her body. All with a smile on her face.
"Oh, sorry, didn't hear ya," she said cheerfully. "You said you'd pay for honeymoon.... right?"
The dullahan opened his mouth to oppose, but when Scarlet cracked her knuckles again, he broke into a sweat and said, voice a little shaky, "Oh, yes, of course! Five-star resorts, complete with indoor water parks!" He then added with a glare, "You're going to owe me big time, though, my darling Scarlet."
"The only thing I owe you is a knuckle sandwich," she grumbled in response, putting away her phone in a pocket and doing a few stretches before walking around the gym. Treadmills, stationary bikes, and weights were everywhere, with TVs blaring about sports teams and wrestling. Scrawny cat demons did wimpy excuses for squats over yoga mats while big, buff elephant men grappled each other with their trunks in a giant wrestling ring. She found a door to another room and opened it, steam pouring out from the opening. One peek in and she saw various demons struggling to hold a simple Tree pose in sweltering heat, unable to see themselves in the fogged up mirrors.
Scarlet closed the door and mumbled under her breath. Where was this Kisandra girl? She had to be here somewhere, and this gym was like a maze. A maze full of treadmills and the smell of sweat and tears. A few men laughed at her, with their 12 packs and cartoonishly bulky muscles, but she decided that she'd crack their skulls as soon as she kicked Kisandra's ass. She wandered around a little more until she came to a room with a giant sign on the door, hearing the pained screams of demons behind it.
"Virtual Training Room," Scarlet read slowly. "Huh. Sounds all Techno-y. Oi, Gluttony!"
She turned around and saw him standing in front of a vending machine with his prinnies, trying to force a dollar in, only for it to be spat back out.
"Gluuuuttonyyy."
The dullahan turned his head towards Scarlet as Bonnie tried straightening out the dollar and inserting it again. "Myeeeeesss, Scarly? What is it?"
"What the fuck is a Virtual Training Room?"
"Well, why don't you walk in and find out by yourself? I'm kind of busy here. Important business."
"Snacks can wait, though, you cheesehead! Meanwhile, Kisandra's getting stronger with every stupid fuck she fights, not to mention the Dark Council's army getting buff! And I'm itchin to suplex something, anything!"
The prinnies watched with glee as the dollar was accepted and the buttons were pressed for that utterly cheesy snack. Gluttony had a bored stare on his face as he replied, "Well, I'm sorry I have my priorities straight; It's just one snack, so I'll be with you in just a-"
He turned his head around, only to see the prinnies pale.
"Dood?" Gonzales said. "I think we got screwed."
Scarlet walked back for a closer look. The poor cheese snack, so close to falling, got stuck in the hook. Not even a good thumping from Bonnie and Gonzales could get it down. For a moment, she saw the sorrow in Gluttony's eyes, heartbroken as he wasted money on a snack that would never fall.
The next? Well, she saw him take one giant bite out of the machine. Then another. And another. And another.
He then wiped his mouth with a napkin, ignoring the pitiful remains of the vending machine for the moment, and said cheerfully, "So, what was that about a Virtual Training Room?"
Scarlet groaned as she led the way, the two prinnies walking fast enough to keep up with her long strides. "Seriously," she said, shooting a glare at her friend, "it's hardly necessary to go eat the entire damn machine. If you wanted that snack down, you could have waited until I broke into it!"
Gluttony crossed his arms and replied, "Well, I couldn't wait for that! I was starving! That protein shake tasted like chocolate water! And while chocolate's great, in combination with water? BLUUUUURGH."
"Must have been that Gargoyle brand protein shake. All of their shakes taste like piss! I just go and make my own at home. Ever tried a peanut butter and chocolate protein shake? Great taste and great for drinking before a workout! Namely, before I snap some Minosaur bones in half!"
They reached the VT Room again, allowing Gonzales to lift up Bonnie as she tried turning the knob of the door. "It's locked," she said after the door didn't budge one bit, tugging at the knob as hard as she could. "Like, dood, it's locked. And I'm not in my super cute karate kick Cheerleader form, either, so I can't break this down at all!"
Scarlet glared at the door before cracking her knuckles. "Stand back, you two," she commanded. When they got out of the way, the buffcubus let out a cry as she slammed her shoulder into the door, putting all her weight into it. She did it again and again, and on the third time, the door flew open, soaring out and falling onto some poor sap.
Her eyes widened as she saw not another boring gym room, but that she was suddenly standing on a shelf of rock, staring down a volcano with bubbling lava. She looked straight ahead and saw a spire of rock petruding from the center of the volcano, with a much larger, flatter rock balancing on the top, shifting as a woman, gone commando, punched several competitors toward the edge before kicking them down into the lava below. She moved quickly and lightly as she fought the swarm of demons, her claws raking down their bodies and leaving nasty, infected gashes. Only when all of them were downed did she stop, balancing on one foot in the middle of the wobbly rock platform.
"Holy shit, this is awesome!" Scarlet said with glee. "If I had known she had a volcano arena, I woulda came here to kick her stupid, fluffy ass sooner!" She then turned to Gluttony and added, "Now come on! Let's hurry and beat her to a pulp!"
Without waiting for Gluttony's answer, she took off to the sky, grabbing him and the prinnies before diving down towards Kisandra. She hurled all three of them at the Kit Cat, Gonzales the only one smart enough to draw a blade and let out a battle cry. Kisandra turned her head slightly before her body followed to kick Gluttony and Bonnie back at Scarlet, only for Gonzales' blade to leave a small wound on her cheek. Scarlet catched Gluttony and Bonnie and set them down on the rock before landing, smirking at the cat woman fighter.
"Well, well," Kisandra said, wiping her cheek. "Look what the cat dragged in! Didn't think you'd stop by, Scarlet! You here to challenge me, too?"
"Damn right!" came the excited reply. "And I'm going to beat you 'til you're nothing but a bloody pulp!"
"You'll find that pretty hard. I don't pull punches, you know!"
"Wouldn't want you to! After the disappointment of a shitty bounty, I need someone who actually knows what they're doing!"
Kisandra smirked, and with a snap of her fingers, the room twisted and changed. The group no longer found themselves balancing above a volcano, but in a wrestling ring, surrounded by thousands of thousands of fans holding up signs for Kisandra. Scarlet's eyes widened in shock, while Gluttony rolled his eyes.
"Oh, so it's one of those things," he said, bored. "A little box of illusions, fooling the senses entirely into thinking they are where they aren't."
The cat woman snapped, "It's a virtual realty game! Or something! Which is like that, only nobody actually dies! See?"
She pointed towards the pile of demons sitting outside the ring out in the corner, some of them partly melted, while others were full of bruises.
Gonzales stared at the pile a little bit before commenting, "Well, dood, if they don't look dead now, they sure will be dead in a few minutes!"
"I think they all need medical help, dood!" Bonnie added, waddling over to the pile and pulling out a box of bandages, slapping them haphazardly over the injured demons.
"Whatever," Kisandra said, waving it off. "Either way, they're not dead, and I can use this to train just about anywhere I want! So, Scarlet... you think you have what it takes?"
Scarlet glared at Kisandra before saying, "Damn right I do, so start throwing punches already! I'm getting bored just listening to all of you yap!"
The cat woman's fur puffed up as she glared right back. "Well, too bad! I don't let just any shmuck walk up to me and challenge me these days! Do you know how many untrained, scrawny guys acting all macho tried to challenge me? I feel like I could kill them just by touching them, and that's boooooring! So if you wanna go at it with me..." She held up three fingers and grinned as she said, "You're gonna have to show me you're capable of three things: Endurance! Speed! And Strength!"
Gonzales gave her a blank stare. "Uh, that's nice and all, dood, but can't she show you that just by beating you in a fight?"
"Well, dood, I'm not accepting any more challengers until you show me how! And what better way than to show your skills in a wrestling match?"
Both Gluttony and Scarlet groaned as the kit cat spun around on her toes and did a dramatic pose.
"Time for your Fitness Test, boys and girls!"
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