The tunnel wasn't really as small as Satoshi expected. Usually narrow, full of bats and other annoying cave creatures, and hard to see in. He suspected that sort of environment would work better for Lady Jessica's ways, snaring lost men into her little trap and seducing them into joining her army.
He was so, so wrong.
First, it was huge, with vast amounts of space. That alone made him think that someone warped space to make this as huge as it appeared. Second, the path was lit by giant, pink, heart-shaped arcs leading deeper into the cave. Dozens of them. Just how much money did the Lady have to waste on such silly props? And lastly...
How in the Nine Hells did she manage to not only buy all those props, but also construct an entire amusement park within a cavern?!? There were so many rides and booths and even a gigantic... what was that?! A giant steel wheel with carriages hanging off them? Isn't that dangerous? Satoshi was baffled by all of these new things, mindlessly bumping into succubi and their cohorts, who shot him nasty glares for ruining their ever-so-romantic moments.
Bright lights dotted the cavern like stars as yamabikos advertised games like "Knock Down Bottles", rides such as the dreadful Behemoth ("Fastest coaster in Relgion! Guarunteed to make you cling, or your money back!") and the twisty, turn-y Tiamat ("Try not to puke!"), and little booths that apparently took these things called "photos" of you and your loved one making silly faces. One such yamabiko handed Satoshi a brochure with a map of the entire park, with labels for each ride and very important shops. The only thing that caught Satoshi's attention was the temple in the very back, labeled, "Lovey-Dovey Wedding Chapel~"
"Oooh, a good attraction you see!" the little dog demon commented. "Yes, that's the most popular attraction yet among couples! Just a few hours in the park together and they go and get hitched for real in the Lovey-Dovey Chapel! Just in the past few weeks, we united 430 happy couples to be together forever! Isn't that sweet?"
Satoshi glared at the map for a moment before turning to the yamabiko and replying bitterly, "And I suppose most of them are to succubi."
"Yep! I mean, succubi need love too, ya know? That's why Master Jessica made this place! Bondin' spot, learned how to make one of these from those Techno Kingdom folks and all, figured it was worth a shot!"
"Certainly not a front for making an army at all, is it?"
The yamabiko paled at Satoshi's sarcastic comment and blubbered, "Well, uh, definitely not! We just want to spread the love... Yes, yes, that's it! Spread the love from Relgion to the Overworld! A front? Ha! Must be your imagination, it is!"
If looks could kill, the yamabiko could have sworn a dagger was at his neck , about to slit his throat. He shivered where he stood, trying to avoid those cold, blue eyes glaring at him.
"You look a little lonely, honey," came a seductive voice, distracting the bounty hunter from intimidating the tiny little dog demon. A succubus hovered casually beside him, a sly smile on her face. "May I accompany you, dear?"
Not one second later, Satoshi replied, "No."
"Just for a little bit...Please~?"
She placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a cute, yet sad look.
"No."
Tail wrapping around his waist.
"How about now?"
"No."
Tug. Pulled ever closer. His look became more stern and disapproving.
"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport... A little hot loving might warm your cold heart-"
"For the last time," growled the bounty hunter, "I said-"
Before he could finish his sentence, he found the succubus flat on her face, another succubus swooping in and hip-dropping her in an instant. A particular succubus with purple hair, half-moon glasses, and a little white dress.
"Back off, he's with me!" she snapped before grabbing Satoshi's hand and holding it gently. "Isn't that right, Sato-kun~?"
Satoshi found it a little difficult to resist the adorable look Tina was giving him. Not to mention, Scarlet did say that she was undercover and she needed help, since she wasn't exactly the strongest. With a sigh, he said, "Yes, I'm with her. I was waiting for her while I was talking to this yamabiko, up until you rudely tried to snag me away."
The succubus looked flustered for a moment before muttering an "Excuse me," and flying off. Tina smirked for a moment before puffing up her cheeks and putting her hands on her hips, glaring at Satoshi.
"That was a pretty weak act, you know!" she complained. "You should have put more emotion in it! I mean, it's not like love is foreign to you, is it?"
The bounty hunter gave her a blank stare before replying, "It isn't something I have ever felt myse-"
Tina's gasp was loud enough to alert everybody within a 10 mile radius. "You never felt love?!? That's... that's insane! You poor thing! I should get Cupid on the phone because you and him need a long, long talk!"
"I haven't had a reason to love," Satoshi grumbled. "And there is no time for it, when my fellow demons are being oppressed and used by organizations like the Dark Council."
"B-but love's a wonderful thing! I mean, look!"
Tina casually went over to a kissing both, where a tiny kitten in a cardboard box waited for people to drop coins in and let it lick their face. She picked it up and held it up to Satoshi with stars in her eyes.
"I mean, look! I love this kitten! Not, love-love, but I love it! It's so cute and cuddly! You can't tell me, with a straight face, that you don't love this cute little furball from hell!"
"...It is cute, but I do not love it."
"You're lying."
"I tell no lies, Tina."
"You're telling a giant lie right now!"
What an embarassing sight it must have been to see a succubus shamelessly stuff a cat into Satoshi's face and scream, "LOVE HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!"
By the time kitty was put back in the box, the bounty hunter had scratches and fur on his face, clearly displeased. He walked around the park, Tina happily holding his hand and dancing about until they reached a pretty short line for Bumper Cars. As they waited, Satoshi grumbled, "Was that really necessary, Tina?"
"Yes," came the blunt reply. "You have a serious case of 'I-Can't-Love-itis' and the doctor said that I have to give you a healthy dose of love to cure it! I mean, you can love without it being love-love, you know? And to think you haven't loved in all your life! That's so sad!"
"Don't make a spectacle of it, Tina. I haven't had a reason to."
"I think kittens being cute is a very good reason."
"You are obsessed with cute animals, Tina."
"Well, when they're all cute and give you diabetes just looking at them, how can't I be obsessed with them?"
Satoshi opened his mouth to retort, but thought better of it when he saw how excited Tina was. Animals were her passion. Something she truly cared about. Was that what love was? Passion and caring? Did that mean he loved hunting other demons? No, that didn't sound right. Thinking about it only made him more and more confused. Thankfully, they were far enough in line that as soon as the doors opened, Tina was able to drag him into a tiny red bumper car and strap both of them in.
Of course, Satoshi was in the passenger seat.
As they waited for the other cars to fill up, Satoshi asked, "So... what exactly do we do in this weird... contraption?"
"You don't even know what a car is?!?" Tina gasped in horror, before realizing her mistake and facepalming. "Right, Limbo. Sorry. Well basically, this is a little steel thingy that goes zoom zoom, and when you press the pedal, it goes ZOOM, and when you move this wheel, you can turn it in the direction you want! And you can just do whatever here, since the rubber bumpers prevent people from getting hurt! Simple enough, right?"
Satoshi raised an eyebrow. Fascinating, how technology has advanced. Strange that they use it for amusement rather than actual transport. "I suppose so. You've done this before, have you?"
They could hear the gates close and a button pressed, the cars whirring to live. Tina winked at her friend knowingly before she put a foot on the pedal. Other cars casually zoomed by as they drove around the small track, enjoying the sights of other cars bumping into each other. It was mostly couples having a great time of things, even if the ride was pretty simple. Satoshi just slumped back in his seat and closed his eyes, content to just relax-
BAM. The demon was jostled out of his tiny nap when their car slammed into the railing. He caught a glance at those who bumped into them shamelessly: a cackling, green haired succubus and a man way too fat to fit in his seat, flipping them off. "Byyyye, looosers~" they said, bumping into other couples and doing fast laps around the course.
Tina stared, a smile fixed on her face. "Hang on tight, Sato-kun~" she said sweetly.
"Why? It's just for relaxing isn't i-"
BAM. Another shove into the railing by the same couple. Satoshi glared at them, but Tina only grinned as she put all the force she possibly could on the pedal.
"PLAYTIME'S OVER."
Satoshi couldn't help but let out a yelp as their bumper car roared across the track, zooming past other cars in a flash. Tina homed in on that one asshole couple, humming to herself as her friend hung on for dear life. Those two were still laughing. Still laughing.
Not for much longer, though, as Tina crashed into them in full force, sending them into a railing. Their scared yelps were satisfying, but they only slowed down for a moment before retaliating with their own shove. Satoshi grunted as the car was lifted up for just a moment before falling and Tina shoving right back and trying to keep the couple pinned in the corner.
That was pretty difficult, especially as both cars were bumped into by several other cars like them in a massive pile-up. The couple and another car tried sandwiching Tina and Satoshi in, only for Tina to step on the gas hard enough for them to escape and watch both cars hillariously bump into each other. The competition wasn't over yet, though, as the green-haired succubus and her cohort slammed into their tail end, jostling both succubus and bounty hunter into a spin-out and into a corner.
Satoshi, dizzy from all the spinning and bumping, asked pitifully, "May we please let this grudge go? I know they offended us, but it is not worth all this... blurgh... bumpy rides.
Tina wasn't content with this. Not at all. Especially when the opposing succubus was making offensive gestures.
So she waited. She waited until the couple passed them in a victory lap, slowing down to gloat about their victory over others.
And then, she took off like a white mage chasing a living pastry, electricity crackling overhead as the succubus let out a battle cry. One last bump before the ride shut off. And oh, what a bump it was, hard enough to send the couple careening towards a wall, both knocked out from the impact.
When the exit gate open, Tina was the first to take off her seat belt, stand on her chair, and yell, "YES! YES! I, TINA HARMONICA, AM THE BEST BUMPER EVER! FEAR ME OR I'LL BUMP YOU INTO THE PITS OF HEEEEELL!"
Needless to say, Satoshi was more than eager to get out with his succubus friend to escape the weird stares people were giving them. Once they were far away from the bumper cars, Satoshi asked in a pitiful voice, "I am very glad you achieved your vengeful goal, but may we please, if anything else, pick a gentler ride to be on?"
Tina smiled apologetically and replied, "Eheheh, sorry about that. Oooh, maybe we should actually go to the actual Tunnel of Love ride! That's the best one! Or maybe the circus...? No, fuck it, we're going on every ride! I can't miss out!"
And so, the poor, poor demon let out a pitiful whine as Tina proceeded to drag him to every single attraction in the park, apparently forgetting their given goal.
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