Useless

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

The Prinnies were as busy as ever this night, cooking and cleaning in preparation for the feast. He could only watch as they toiled endlessly to make sure things were absolutely perfect, everything in its proper place.

The minute the words, "May I help?" escaped his lips, the harder they worked in silence, responding with a resounding "No, thank you!"

Maybe they didn't want to take it because the less hours they work, the more of a pitance they would be paid. When it comes to paying off their sins, every penny counted. To slack would be their greatest desire, but most wanted to return to life in some shape or form.

And so, here he sat, watching their every move, indigo appendages fiddling around with knitting needles and yarn. He always did this when he was bored. It's not like he could eat anything; food wasn't even ready yet! Prinnies weren't tasty, either, so trying to eat them would be a waste of time.

 Wasn't the first rejection, either. No, the first was when he witnessed Renais working on a potion, only for it to blow up in her face. "Need a little help with that?" he asked, worried.

"No, no, no! I'm fine, but thank you!" was her hasty response.

And again, when Sophia left to get groceries, he had asked her the same thing. "You'd eat the entire grocery store if I let you help," she said bluntly.

She had a point, but he still couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness when she left down the path towards the Yamabiko Shopping District.

He only wanted to help. Or, rather, he wanted to feel wanted. The past few months were quiet, everybody off doing their own business. And he was trying to be less of the person he was last year... and the year before... and the year before. He was still "Me! Me! ME!", but he was trying to break that mold, trying to reach out...

 Each stitch he made ever-so-absentmindedly was a worry; every purl, a fear. The indigo scarf that he would make was the result of his anxiety, his lonliness, his desire to feel needed, wanted, anything.

And so he would continue like this, waiting for his maid to return, waiting for the prinnies to finish cooking, waiting for Renais to finish her alchemy, until he could devour all that he could. Food helped him forget. Drinks drowned away his sorrows. Too long without it, and not only would he feel weak in body, but much more vulnerable and fearful in mind.

 Yes... just like that day.  Like that day where he was the devoured, rather than the devourer. Like the day Sophia saved him. So useless, relying so much on others...

 I want to be useful... useful to someone, anyone. Even for a little while...