Janet.
Janet...
Rise, Shaman.
With a groan, the woman stirred from her slumber, sitting up and rubbing her eyes open. A glowing sphere floated in front of her. She blinked out the sleep from her eyes before she grumbled, "And good morning to you, Gaea. I hope the poisonous air didn't hinder you much."
Smog does not affect my immaterial form, shaman, Gaea replied, undisturbed by her glare. And it seems that you have arrived here safely, and acquired a position here as historian.
"Yes, somehow," Janet sighed. She got out of bed and hastily threw on a green shirt and a blue skirt before staring at herself in the mirror. "Flattery got me somewhere, and I'm not sure if it's because the Monarch as a giant ego or he has bigger plans."
I would be careful not to reveal your hand of cards, lest you are thrown out. In the best case scenario, I believe.
"And the worst is that my skin gets to be on his wall. Probably an honor when you think about it. Think of how much it'll go for in a thousand years!"
Optimistic, aren't you.
"I try. Now, what brought you here? Because I am half tempted to sock you."
I come bearing news. Soon, I will acquire a material form, and join you as your maid. I trust you have found an ally to aid you, should it come down to fighting.
Janet combed her hair with her fingers before setting it in a braid and tossing it over her shoulder.
"Don't worry," she said confidently, "I've brought my battle fans, and I'll be able to use my powers in battle! No sweat!"
I hope your powers make up for your lack of experience. Last thing we need is a shaman becoming a pincushion to her own Cactus Bombs.
"Worrywart. I'll be perfectly fine! Watch!"
Janet took a deep breath and focused, holding her hands out in front of her. Her hair was whipped up by the winds surrounding her, her shirt lifted up. With a swift, whirling movement, she released it, winds shooting forward...
THUNK. There went the door, flying into the wall. Janet swore that if Gaea had eyes, she would be glaring at her.
You were saying?
Janet stammered, "I-It was an accident! Honest! Used too much power, yeah..."
"I'd hope so, for your sake. The Monarch does not take well to dented walls and dehinged doors."
Janet opened her mouth to retort, ready to shoot Gaea a glare, when she heard the jingling bells behind her. A glance downward and she could see the Court Magician, holding out a tray of pancakes and strawberries, along with a cup of water.
"And good morning to you, Lady Kingston," he greeted properly, with as much of a bow he could make with a tray of food, nevermind being a round, tiny thing. "I wasn't sure what you would like, so I took liberties to make you breakfast." He set the tray aside on the nightstand before looking up at the spirit floating beside his new friend. "...And praytell, what is that?"
Is this Hansel? Oh, this is rich! Wait til the others hear of this!
"Shut it, Gaea," Janet snapped. "Sorry, this is... a friend. Her name is Gaea, after the god that created the planet. She says hi!"
I say that this is absolutely stunning, how a hero has fallen so much to become a creampuff! Ohohoho!
"Gaea!"
It's true... Someone so proud became a-
"Shut up. Sorry, only I can hear him. For reasons."
Hansel turned away from her and sighed, "Perhaps for the best, given how livid you are. No doubt talking about me, I assume."
A drop of sweat slid down Janet's cheek as she thought hard on how to comfort the solemn puff.
"N-no, not like that! I mean, uh, he was just speaking about how you weakened Princess Petra, yes! With how clever you are and... um... your... handsome...ness?"
She forced a smile as best as she could, but Hansel only shook his head.
"So you've read about a Hansel poisoning the princess," he stated. "But none remember him. All remember Peter, for the Princess fell before him after a long battle. And even if they did..." His eyes met with Janet's, forcing her to stop faking her smile and raise an eyebrow instead. There was a moment's hesitation before he said firmly, "Even if they did, I am not he."
An awkward silence filled the room. Janet couldn't think of anything else to say. She couldn't retort him, because she saw no photos of the Hansel that poisoned the Princess. For all she knew, they were two different Hansels. But how likely is it that there are two Hansels as Court Magicians to the nobility? A crazy coincidence! She sat on her bed, pondering this while cramming as many strawberries into her mouth as possible. Can't think on an empty stomach, yes. And she thought and thought and thought...
It was only Hansel who managed to break her away from her thoughts, as he asked, "So, what brought you here to begin with?"
"Hmmm?" Janet replied with a mouth full of strawberries. "Oh that, um, I'm trying to become a historian because nobody ever bothers writing about history and why not do it for here?"
"...You are aware that you are singing the praises of a mad king, yes?"
"Who said I was doing that?"
"He did."
"Oh, that was just flattery! You know, 'Oh, you look so GOOD today, yes, I wish I was wearing what you were wearing! Oh, your personality is just so bright, like the sun, like Apollo on his chariot! Praise be to you' and stuff like that." The shaman shot Hansel a glare. "Did you actually think I was serious?"
The puff flailed his little arms as he stuttered, "I-I, er, um, I... I... you see, uh....m-maybe?"
"Ha! I'd eat dog shit before I mean anything GOOD about the Mo-"
"OI!" a voice boomed, startling the trio. Gaea hid himself within Janet's backpack, while Janet hurried and got her steel fans. "HANSEL, YA TWIT! GET OVER HERE, YA USELESS SACK!"
Janet glanced over to the yellow creampuff, who sighed, "Duty calls, I suppose."
"I'm surprised I can hear him over here."
"Trust me, Lady Kingston... The Monarch is very loud, indeed. But no sense in keeping him waiting..."
As Hansel set off, Janet followed along. Not before getting her notebook and pen, though. There was history to be made!
-----------------------------
"TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH!"
Hansel and Janet bowed before the Monarch, who was grumpily drumming his fingers against the arm of his mechanical throne. And boy, did he look unhappy. Janet was afraid that maybe he had seen the damage she had done, and was about to throw her out into the streets. Or worse.
"MADE ME WAIT WHEN THERE ARE THINGS TO BE MADE!" the Monarch roared. "THINGS TO BE DONE! PRODUCTION IS DROPPING BY THE SECOND BECAUSE PEASANTS CAN'T DO A DAMN THING WITHOUT ME BARKING ORDERS!"
"My deepest apologies, Your Majesty," Hansel said, bowing so much, bells dangled in his face from his hat flopping over. "You shouldn't have waited for a humble servant such as myself."
"YER AS HUMBLE AS MY WIFE FROM 100 YEARS AGO, YA DIMWIT. SHE HAD AN EGO TO RIVAL MINE! WOULD HAVE BEEN A NICE CHANGE OF PACE IF SHE HADN'T TRIED TO TAKE THE KINGDOM FER HERSELF, TRYIN TO POISON ME!"
"Do I want to know how this story ends?" Janet asked.
"I BROKE EVERY SINGLE BONE IN HER BODY BEFORE TOSSING HER INTO A COMPACTOR!"
"Oh." If she wasn't pale before, Janet was as white as a sheet now.
"ANYWAY, I WAITED FOR YOUR SORRY REAR BECAUSE SOME GIT THINKS HE'S HOT STUFF. OVERHEARD HIS LITTLE PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION, SAYIN' THAT HE COULD TAKE ME IN A FIGHT. LITTLE COWARD'S TOO CHICKENSHIT TO FACE ME ONE TO ONE, THOUGH, SO I HEAR HE'S BIDIN' HIS TIME, TRYIN' TO TAKE OVER TERRITORIES THAT RIGHTFULLY BELONG TO ME! SAM THE SLICK, HIS NAME WAS. LOWLY VISCOUNT AND HE DREAMS OF RULING."
"And what would you have me do, Your Majesty?" asked the yellow puff.
Janet could have sworn that behind the mask, the Monarch was grinning like a loon.
"YOU SHOULD THANK ME, BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE PERSONAL HONOR OF BEATTING THE STUFFING OUT OF THAT LITTLE GIT FOR ME!" he boomed. "DISMANTLE THE FACTORY I GAVE HIM, AND MAKE SURE HE SCREAMS FOR MUMMY BEFORE YA SLIT HIS SLIMY THROAT, EH? AND LASSIE JANE, MAKE SURE YA RECORD EVERY MOMENT OF IT IN YER BOOKS!"
Janet could hardly stop herself from stammering nonsense. Was he actually doing this? Was he really sending them out to slay one of his own nobles for insubordination? Hansel didn't seem to question it, though. In fact, she was pretty sure that now he was grinning behind that mask.
"Oh, I promise you," the puff assured the mechanical giant, "I'll make him bleed before long."
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