Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Big Clash in the Small Town

Jiang could hear the war cries of the villiage militia as he approached the outskirts, the clash of steel against steel ringing in the air. Through the cover of trees, he could see bandits, fighting with a ferocity of a dragon. No doubt they were as greedy as one too. Why else would they bother the tiny little village of Chin’an otherwise?

As Ning and Yin caught up to him, Jiang signaled Ning to come closer and asked, “Scout ahead for me, will ya? We need to know how many there are and if any of them got torches.”

“So that we can stop ‘em from setting the whole place on fire, right?” Ning asked, though she hardly waited for an answer as her head detached. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!”

Jiang watched her head zoom up into the skies, then turned his attention to Yin. “And you? I’m gonna need you to throw me in.”

“Oooh, we’re givin’ them the BOOT now, are we?” Yin said with a smirk. “Of course, of course!” His smirk faded a bit, tinged with a bit of worry as he asked, “Although, your townsfolk won’t shoot us down once the battle’s over, will they? We are still monsters, after all.”

“I’ll call ‘em off before they try anything. They’ll understand, long as you guys don’t’ try to eat ‘em.”


Yin huffed, grabbing Jiang by the collar of his shirt as he said, “What do you take me for, some two-bit starved lion? I have preferences, you know!”


Ning’s head flew back over and spun in place, a spark of excitement in her eyes. “No torches anywhere, Boss!” she said, her body drawing her bow and nocking an arrow as she spoke. “We’re outnumbered, but that’s not gonna stop us! I’m ready to go!”


Jiang smirked. “Course it won’t! Ning, you’ll go ahead and disable any bandit you shoot. And Ying… You know exactly what to do.”

“The usual, of course! Now, where should I throw you?”

He looked over to a gaggle of bandits harassing one particular mage girl, one who was more than eager to fry them up like a chicken. Maybe she was holding her own well, but more were starting to gang up on her as they noticed she was the real threat. With a devilish grin, Jiang pointed at them.

That was all Yin needed to know before he lifted his paw up for the pitch and threw Jiang into the fray, his boot connecting squarely with a bandit’s face. The bandit let out a tiny yelp, his friends stopping their assault to oggle at whoever the hell came to ruin their fun. Not that they got an answer from Jiang, unless punches to the face count.

The mage girl looked up and saw Jiang beside her, then huffed as she said, “Took you long enough, Muscles! Where the hell have you been?”

As he elbowed a bandit in the gut, Jiang snapped back, “What, I save your ass and this is how you greet me, Yijun?”

Another bandit thought to bring an axe down on his head, but Yijun snapped her fingers and zapped him with a bolt of lighting, though she saved her glare for Jiang. “Excuse me?! I’d be more thankful if you came here earlier! I actually chipped a nail from knocking one of these goons off of me!”

“You’re more concerned about your damn nail than you are about everyone else?”

“They need to be immaculate in time for Lady Zheng’s ball! How else will I get a handsome prince to pay attention to me?”

“Yijun, they’d lose interest the moment you send them to fight a damn dragon for some bracelet you wanna wear!”

As the two bickered, one bandit loomed over them, axe raised high. “Ha, just like lovebirds to let your guard down during-” he started, only to get a knee to the gut, a fireball to the face, and a mighty blow to his ego as he collapsed like a bag of bricks.

“Who the hell are you calling a lovebird?” growled Jiang.

“And who said our guard was down, you dumbass?” snapped Yijun, waggling her finger at the unconscious bandit. She huffed, flicking her long strands of hair back as she said, “Seriously, who do you think you are?” She glanced over at Jiang, her face turning several shades of white as she asked, “And where the hell is your axe? I thought you brought it with you everywhere!”

Jiang would have answered if he wasn’t busy prying an axe from the bandit’s cold, unconscious hands. “I forgot it,” he replied bluntly, feeling the heft of his new weapon and testing it on a poor bandit who was a living pincushion after Ning was done with him. Yijun opened her mouth, pointing angrily at him, then closed it as she realized there wasn’t any use arguing, least of all during a raid.

Even if the numbers weren’t bolstered by Jiang and crew’s arrival, things quickly turned sour for the bandits. Between Jiang chopping them down, Ning pelting them with arrows, Yijun blasting them with sharp windblades and fire, and Yin leaping in and clawing them down, their morale dropped like a rock. Some tried to retreat, though most found themselves stuck in pitfalls prepared by the village children. Others tried their best to keep them away and beat them down, but for every blow they inflicted upon them, Jiang was sure to deal just as much damage back, if not more. The village militia followed suit with spears and swords, bringing down whatever bandits that Jiang and friends didn’t finish off.

With their numbers thinning out, the rowdy bandits were running out of options. How could they win when they had youkai, a witch, and a demon of a man fighting against them? Jiang grinned, confident that this would be over before they knew it-

“EEP!”

He turned his head towards the noise after clonking a bandit with the blunt side of his axe. Of course it was another bandit, but this one had all the markings of the leader: much taller, much more composed, a smug look on his face to rival Yijun’s... and the goonies around him all had wicked grins, defenseless townspeople struggling in their grip.

The big bandit chuckled, casually raising a hand as he said, “You sure got ahead of yourselves, thinking you had everything all tidied up. How cute! Didn’t think we’d pull a trick like this, now did you?” Yin spotted him and prepared to pounce, but quickly, the bandits drew blades, pressing them against their captives’ necks. The leader waggled a finger, his smugness intensifying to the point where Jiang really wanted to smash his axe right in his face. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he warned. “Unless you really want those poor kiddos to be without a ma and da, eh?”

Yijun’s eyes blazed with pure hatred, her hands glowing with a fiery power as she snapped, “How dare you! I swear, if you hurt them, I’ll turn all of you to ashes, you hear me?!?”

The captives shrieked as the blades were pressed ever harder on their neck, the boss bandit shaking his head. “You don’t get it, do ya? Fine, let me spell it out to ya.” He pointed angrily down at the hesitant group and said, “Drop your weapons, and give us all the treasure you got. That’s the only way out of this little situation you got yourself in.”

Jiang glared hatefully back at the bandit. Like they’d actually hold up their end of the bargain, he thought. They killed anyone and everyone who could fight back in that other town. They’ll just kill us once our guard’s down. From the corner of his eye, he saw Ning look over at him with a glare of her own: When the hell could she shoot him down? He didn’t have an answer, not one that would end well.

With heavy hearts, the militia dropped their weapons and backed away, hoping that it would be enough to spare their kinsmen. Yin huffed, taking a few steps back, but never taking his eyes off of the leader. Ning threw her bow down and groaned, crossing her arms like a toddler throwing a fit. The only ones that didn’t back down were Jiang and Yijun, both as fixated on the leader as Yang was.

The leader noticed and yelled, “Didn’t you hear me? Or maybe you’re just deaf? Drop your weapons and get the goods, or these poor folk’ll get it!”

Yijun ignored him and turned towards Jiang and snapped, “We can’t just do what they say! We have to do something!”

But what the hell can we do that won’t get us all killed? Jiang dug through his mind for an answer, but all he could do was glance over at the river. With grit teeth, he loosened his grip on his axe, his weapon falling on the ground with a THUD as he held his hands up. Yijun’s eyes widened with shock, but what could she do but extinguish the flames around her hands and watch as her own kinsmen brought out the treasures they held most dear?


Soon, a mound of gold and gems sat in front of the bandits, glimmering in the morning sun. As they ran their filthy hands over it, Jiang’s blood boiled. Those were the town’s earnings, the town’s hard earned gold, the town’s treasure, and they were drooling over it and fondling it as if it were their own. The big bandit smirked, grabbing a piece of gold in the pile and inspecting it with glee. “Oho, we shoulda did this earlier!” he said with a laugh. “Woulda been less effort than fighting our way through that town! And now…” A snap of his fingers, and all the bandits with free hands drew their weapons and held them high. “We don’t need you anymore.”

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the militia hurried to get their weapons before it was too late. The captives surely felt the call of death as the bandits prepared to cut their heads. In this very moment, Jiang prayed, prayed that something, someone would help them. And if God wasn’t willing to give him that, then he prayed that he could drag the rest of these bandits straight to hell with him.

And in that moment, God responded to his prayer… with something huge coming out of the river, a shower of icicles raining down upon the bandits, those with captives too busy scrambling out of the way to worry about holding onto those villagers. As for the big bandit himself, he probably wasn’t expecting to get some fish ass in his face.

With an opening before them, the militia focused more on getting their weapons and routing the enemy than the fact that a mermaid just casually appeared and kicked ass. Jiang, on the other hand, was absolutely estatic that his best friend pulled through in a pinch.

Kailani waved at him and flopped over, saluting him as best she could as she said, “Hiya, Jiang! Sorry I’m late! Guess I missed the signal, huh?”

He waved her off, rushing in to hug her as he replied, “Don’t worry about it! That was AMAZING! You’re just… Holy shit!”

“Boss, that’s a rude thing to say to a lady!” Ning said as she detached her head and headbutted a bandit, leaving her body to shoot down any of them coming too close to her. “Don’t call her shit! Call her something like ‘Holy Empress of Awesome’!”

Kailani giggled and smiled back at Ning, replying with, “Nah, that’s a mouthful! Kailani’s just fine! Maybe Kai will work, though!”

Jiang wasn’t sure if Yin’s roar was of approval or just because he wanted to scare the piss out of some bandits. Maybe both? Either way, he said, “Kai it is! Now then, how about we put some bandits to rest, huh?”

Before Kai could speak, Yijun jumped in, eyes wide with wonder as she said, “How about instead, you explain to me how the hell you met a mermaid?”

“How about we talk about that later and kick some butt first?” Kailani said before Jiang could snap right back at Yijun. “Then we can all gather around the river for story time!”

Yijun still stared at Jiang, more with genuine surprise than with jealousy, but after he moved on to punch a bandit and grab the nearest axe, she decided it was worth it to just fry up some more enemies. With a mermaid dishing up water attacks alongside the group, there were hardly any bandits to worry about. Most were put to rout, while some did manage to escape. It wasn’t too long before the whole village could hear cries of victory ring in the air.

Satisfied with a job well done, Kailani smiled upon everyone and said, “We finally did it! Your home’s safe at last! Sorry I couldn’t help sooner, but really, all of you guys put in the effort to make it happen!”

Ning stood up, grabbing her head and screwing it back on before she replied with a grin, “Hey, you’re the one who came in at the last minute to save us! Give yourself some credit, Kai-kai!”

“But who was shooting those bandits in the knees to keep them from going anywhere, huh?” Kailani replied with a grin of her own. “Huh? Because it wasn’t me, last I checked!”

“Well, I wasn’t shooting icicles and doing cool magic things so HA!” Ning pointed trimphantly at the mermaid, her cape and hair flapping in the wind. “You’re the best, not me!”

Yijun stepped in, flicking her hair back as she added, “Oh, but what about me? I was the one who was doing all the hard work before you guys got here! I’m truly the best there is, no?”

Ning stared at her with her one good eye, then shrugged. “Eeeh, you were okay, I guess.”
“Argh, why you…!” Yijun glared at her, hands glowing with fiery energy as Ning whistled innocently and Kailani simply laughed it off. Yin watched carefully, wary of the villagers that were looking at him, though Jiang held up his hand to let them know the Chimera wasn’t there to hurt them. When it was safe, Yang shifted into his more humanoid form, smiling as bright as the sun.

“Well, all’s well that ends well, doesn’t it, Boss?” he asked as Jiang stretched out and let out a yawn.

“Sure does. Man, this calls for some good food… Maybe I should whip some up?”

“Make sure to make a big batch, then. I’m sure the whole village is starving after that one!”

Jiang almost considered doing so, but he saw something move from the corner of his eye.

“Everything was going SO well…”

No, someone. Jiang gripped his axe tightly, a serious look creeping on his face.

“It was all perfect, perfect I tell you… and then you… You RUINED it!”

Big Bad Boss Bandit raised his axe up high as he loomed over Kailani, eyes filled with rage.

“DI-”

His rage turned to shock as Jiang leaped and jammed his axe into the back of the bandit’s head. Ning shoved Kailani out of the way, drawing daggers just in case… but it was hardly necessary now as the bandit collapsed at her feet.

 Ning sighed, slumping in place as she said, “Steal my thunder, will ya, Boss? I was gonna be cool and save Kai-kai, you know!” Maybe it wasn’t the greatest idea to look at her with that grim look on his face, because the next thing she said was, “Also, you kinda look like a demon and that’s preeeetty scarry, Boss man.”

“I, uh, um… sorry?” Jiang replied, unsure of how to take any of that. “Just that, uh, she’s kind of… Well…”

Kailani smiled at him, sending his heart and thoughts all aflutter. “Looks like one good deed gets another! Though…” Her cheer quickly turned to worry as she asked, “You took a lot of blows back there, too.” She certainly wasn’t wrong. Jiang was bruised, with quite a few minor wounds all over him. He was going to shrug it off and sleep it off, but Kailani approached him, webbed hand outstretched and glowing with a gentle energy. She laid her hands on his and he felt a tingle in his fingers, running through his arm and spreading through his whole body. The fatigue and pain he felt from the wounds he sustained faded away, leaving him as if he had never fought at all.

Jiang was at an absolute loss for words, staring at Kailani as she replied, “And that’s your thank you gift! Now, could you help bring the wounded over to me? I need to heal them up too. They must be exhausted.”

He wasn’t about to argue with her after a miracle like that. Together, Jiang and his friends lined up the wounded, Kailani taking the time to heal each and every one of them with every ounce of magic she had. Even Yijun seemed eager to help, shoving a soldier into line who was reluctant to admit he was even hurt. Now, more than ever, Jiang was sure thing were going to be fine.

When he had a chance, he walked into the cover of the forest, signalling Yang and Ning to follow suit. “Guys,” he said, “you did good work today and… Well…” He smiled a bit, placing a hand on the back of his head as he continued, “Thanks. You did a lot for me and my village, and I really appreciate it.”

“Anything for our favorite boss!” Yin said with a laugh, patting Jiang on the back with his massive paw. His smile faded a bit, however, as he said, “Although… Maybe we should see if we can find the hideout. I could sniff them out with my wife and see if we can pinpoint where they are.”

Ning nodded and added, “Yeah, and if their big, big boss hears about their loss here, they might come back with a bigger force! We gotta take the fight to them take ‘em out while they’re still weak!”

“I… I’d rather you guys relax first,” Jiang admitted, looking away from them for just a moment. “And we still don’t have much of a lead…”

“Well, those guys might have the same sorta scent. Ya know, the dirty boss bandit scent?” Jiang stared blankly at Ning, who waved franticly and said, “I wasn’t talking about you, Boss! At least you bathe! They probably don’t know what bathing is!”

“And if all else fails,” Yin pointed out, “we can simply follow the trail of the Royal Guard. Where they gather, there must be a threat. And one of those threats might be bandits!”

“Probably, though I wouldn’t risk it.” Jiang looked back at the village, watching Kailani work her magic for a bit before he turned back to his friends and said, “Either way, we can talk about it more later. I’m gonna see what’s up with Kailani.” An idea came to mind, eyes shining bright as he asked them, “Do you wanna meet her proper? I was thinking we could actually sit down around Lake Chin’an and have a picnic together. I mean, fighting bandits is no way to meet a mermaid, is it?”

“Well, I think it’s a perfect way to meet a mermaid! I won’t say no to free food though!”

“And I wouldn’t mind getting out of my cave to meet her. It’s getting a little stuffy in there!” Yin chuckled a bit, then turned to head home with Ning. “It’s a deal! Tell us when, and we’ll be there! Until next time, our dear boss!”

Jiang grinned at them and waved back before he returned to his own town, content with how things played out. Though now, he would have to explain just how he met Kailani to Yijun. That was going to be a doozy and a half.

But… in the back of his mind, he thought of Tao. Something about this incident struck him as being something Tao would do…

…But it wasn’t, was it?

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