Janitors and Robotos and Planeswardens (oh my)

Sweep, sweep, sweep.

Sweeping was all he could do to contain the remains of the party last night and conceal the truth. Not one scrap of confetti should be left on the floor, and the floor must shine like the stars outside of HQ. It was a tedious job, though one he eagerly accepted after promises of a four course meal for a job well done.

Although... even as he stood upon the cleanest part of the floor he had ever seen in his life, simply turning around showed that there was much more work to do, with beer cans littered across the floor,  broken glass sitting in puddles of booze, and crumbs laying out for space mice to enjoy just a slice of the good life.

His smile waivered a little bit, his pride hurt as he stared at the mess. After being hired not too long ago, he never expected an organization like the Planeswardens to have such wild parties. Scratch that: he never expected the damage to be this big. Usually, they were a lot more contained, and people had the sense to clean up after themselves. He would just come in afterwards and find that there wasn't a lot left to do aside from sweep, mop, and buff. Not this time, though. The Janitorial Gods That Be had other plans for Hiroki Kouta.

"Well, least I'll get dinner later!" Hiroki assured himself, steeling as much resolve as he could before he continued his long and tedious job. "And I'll get paid! And, uh..." He scoured his brain for more reasons, only to squeak out, "Boss won't yell at me, I guess?"

It took a full two hours for him to clean up all by himself,  thinking hard about how he got here. When he found out about a job opening that involved fixing things for an office to keep running, he jumped on it like a hyena ready to devour a slab of meat. He begged an editor to help fix up his resume and slapped as many of his mechanic jobs on there as humanly possible. The salary was good enough so that he could actually afford to eat somewhere nice without fucking himself over for rent and groceries. Who wouldn't jump at the opening? The fact that it was actually a job position among the Planeswardens was fantastic, like a dream come true!

Then it turns out, oh. Not only did he have to fix the microwave for whenever a lightning elemental accidently short-circuited it, he'd have to clean it out after someone inevitibly microwaves styrofoam. Lately, it was more cleaning than fixing... And Hiroki was itching to do something other than deal with other people's garbage. Hopping into other dimensions and meeting sylphs... Traveling to another world and meeting aliens... Fighting in a giant robot like-

"Oi!"

"AH!" Hiroki nearly tripped over himself to stand at attention, broom at his side, facing the complete opposite direction of where he heard the voice. When he realized his mistake, he hastily turned around towards the open door, grinning like a dog caught in the act of stealing bagels straight from the toaster oven. "B-boss!" he said, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek. "I'm not slacking off, I swear! Look, whole place is sparkling clean!"

Whoever came in through that door certainly wasn't the always scowling brunette glaring down at him through his spectacles. Boss wouldn't come clanking in with a bunch of pitch black armor. And he certainly didn't have a head of bright red hair, oh no. "Dunno who the heck your boss is," said the stranger as he scratched at his head, "but they must be damn proud if you managed to clean up this whole place by yourself!" He then looked down at the floor and added, "I can even see myself reflected on the floor, and that takes some doin'!"

For the first time in a long time, Hiroki swelled up with pride. "Well, it is what I do best!" he replied with a geniune smile, placing a hand on the back of his bandana-covered head. "Not even the toughest stains can get past me!"

The knight stood up straight  and grinned back at him with a thumbs up. "Good on ya! I was wondering if anyone actually got to this ballroom yet." His grin shifted to a frown as he continued, "Heard from Robert that things got a little wild in here. Said something about some alien soccer team winning their planet's World Cup."

Hiroki raised an eyebrow and looked over at the garbage bag filled with booze cans, then glanced back at the knight. "I thought they were celebrating the Super Bowl! Was it really just soccer?"

There was an awkward silence between them as the knight slowly raised his eyebrow. He raised his hand to his chin and scratched at it as he said quietly, "Um, the Super Bowl was back in Februrary."

"A-and... what month is it, now?"

"It's April."

Hiroki deflated like a balloon, all his cheer and optimism fading in a blink of an eye. "Shows what I know," he said, setting the broom aside and slouching forward. "It's hard to keep track of time when you're in space."

The knight waved him off. "Don't worry too much about it. All that matters is that the ballroom's clean, just in time for whatever gala Aurelis has planned for the newbies."

"And just in time for me to go home and make, um..." Hiroki thought for a moment before he recalled that his pantry was nearly empty from his latest binge, then sighed. "I guess I'll be making just some dressed up Cup Noodles tonight, huh."

"Cripes, that's rough. Guess I should shake your boss into giving you a higher pay while I'm out and about tryin' to fix the place," the knight grumbled. Hiroki stared at him and watched as the knight's eyes lit up. The knight turned to him with a grin and said, "Can't do much about it now, but how 'bout I show you a lil something to cheer ya up?"

Hiroki had no idea what the heck this something was, but it was bound to be more exciting than waxing the floors. "Sure, why not?" he said with a grin, eager as could be.

He followed the knight out of the door, into the long, dark corridors of the Planeswarden's HQ, the way only lit by the lanterns that lit up as they drew closer to them, then dimmed as they walked past. They passed the kitchen, the cafeteria, the auditorium, and more as they reached the elevator, Hiroki shocked at how quiet it was. Had he really worked on that ballroom til everybody went to bed?

Inside the elevator, the knight pressed the button for the bottommost level, which raised more than a few alarm bells. Moreso when a panel slid up from below the buttons, revealing a scanner. The knight slid the gauntlet off of his right hand and pressed his thumb against it until he heard a click and a beep of approval, the panel sliding to cover it again as he moved his thumb off and slid his gauntlet back on. As the elevator began its descent, Hiroki stared at his companion like he pulled a magic trick right in front of his eyes.

"Who ARE you?" was all he could ask him, baffled.

The Knight only grinned at him and said, "Duer O. Corran. Earth Planeswarden."

The ride would have been a lot smoother if Hiroki wasn't literally standing beside an actual Planeswarden, nevermind a veteran! He heard all about him from eavesdropping on newer members, from his most famous adventures to protect this dimension to him adopting a fairy as his daughter and teaching her how to beat people in fighting games. One of the strongest Planeswardens there is, they all said.

They also said he was actually a meteor dog, but he sure didn't look like one now.

Soon, the elevator stopped, the doors opening wide as Duer stepped out with Hiroki. The janitor's eyes flew wide open at the sight before him:  several small rooms, all containing strange objects and artifacts in reinforced glass. All of them were strange and new to him, almost terrifying. Duer wasn't leading him towards any of those rooms, though: he took a left turn into another corridor, signalling Hiroki to follow.

Duer must have noticed the concerned look on his face, as he said, "Relax, those things aren't going to end you. They're more dangerous if they're in the wrong hands, and we've made sure to idiot-proof the whole place."

"That wouldn't stop someone with special access from getting them and wreaking havoc though, would it?" Hiroki asked. "Wouldn't it be safer to just destroy them?" He placed a hand on his chin, closing his eyes as he thought a little and added, "Or maybe they can't be destroyed, so that's why they're here?"

"You sure catch on quick!" Duer replied with a smile. "You're right: These are all the things we got from all the threats we've faced to protect this plane. We've managed to get rid of some, but the higher brass thinks we can't destroy these ones in particular. Either they're trying to find a way to use it for good, or they're forged out of something we don't know how to break."

"Or they want a stockpile when they go crazy and try to end the world with them?"

Duer blinked, then shrugged. "I mean, if they wanna try, sure. Not that they'd get very far. Whole damn crew would come in trying to paste 'em, Council included. But nevermind that for now."

The duo stopped at a steel door at the end of the corridor,  another thumbprint scanner sitting beside it. One more thumbprint later, and the doors slid open for the duo to walk right in.

With eyes wide open and a slack jaw, Hiroki oggled at the thing before him: a massive wolf-like mecha, standing tall with silver-white armor, a jagged blade at its side and boosters  on its shoulders. Several large cables were connected to it, a blue-green substance flowing into the mecha through several ports.

After several minutes of looking at this thing at all angles, Hiroki said, "Holy shit, this is amazing! It's incredible! It's..." He looked over at Duer with a doofy confused look and asked with a timid grin, "Uh, what really is it? Is it really just a giant robot?"

Duer laughed, patting the janitor on the back as he replied, "It's a giant robot alright! Though, where it's from, it's called a Deus Ex Machina."

Enthusiasm quickly turned to terror as Hiroki broke away from Duer and sputtered, "Wh-what, what?!? There's a GOD in there?"

"We'd be dead if there was," came the blunt reply. "Think of it more as a demi-god: still powerful, less bullshit." Duer sighed, a frown forming on his face as he continued, "In another world, there was war that people thought would never end. Those at the top wanted to end it through any means necessary, so they took those with the most magical power and used them to power the machines, stripping them of everything but their spiritual forms. They brought an end to the war, for sure. A bloody end, as the spirits turned against the pilots and killed them, then used the machines to kill everyone else that stood in their way. We stepped in because we thought they would, unchecked, destroy more than just their own world.

"In the end, we only managed to capture one," Duer groaned. "There are others still around, though we haven't tracked where. Managed to seal this one up, though now the higher brass is talking about making someone pilot it as a countermeasure against more of its own kind."

Hiroki looked up at the mecha, unsure whether to feel terror or pity for the spirit within. Slowly, he turned to Duer with a puzzled look and asked, "So, uh, the reason you brought me here was to see if I could pilot it?"

"More like see if you were interested," Duer replied. "I'm not about to shove you in there without training! Don't even know how the spirit's gonna react after waking up. Maybe it'll be more calm after that nap, or maybe it'll still hate everyone's guts and wish death and destruction upon everyone. Either way, we need someone who wants to do it, and has the willpower to handle it."

A once in a lifetime opportunity, plopping right into his lap? A chance to actually do something beyond janitorial work? A chance to pilot a giant robot?!? Hiroki's eyes sparkled, his heart burning with passion as he shouted, "Of course I'm interested! I gotta pilot the robot! I just gotta!"

Duer snorted at first, then broke out into a chuckle at his friend's enthusiasm. "Now that's what I'd like to hear! I'll mention that to my bosses: we have a few canidates already, but doesn't hurt to have another." There was a slight pause as Duer's cheerfullness waivered, a nervous look creeping over his face. "Uh, I never DID ask for your name, did I?" he asked awkwardly, scratching at the back of his head.

"Huh? Oh, well, no, but it's Hiroki. Hiroki Kouta. Nice to meetcha!" Hiroki extended a hand out for a handshake, and found that Duer's handshake powers were not to be underestimated, what with that firm grip threatening to break his bones. As the two turned to leave and closed the door behind them, Hiroki said, "I guess I have more to look forward to than just a four course meal! Though I guess everything that happened here never happened, right?"

"Yeah, don't spill the beans to anyone," Duer said with a nod. "As far as everyone else is concerned, this never happened. If you do..." Hiroki saw one of Duer's eyes glow dark red, an odious feeling in the air as the knight said, "I'd have to kill you."

When he finally returned to his dorm that night, Hiroki wasn't sure if he couldn't sleep because of terror or excitement.

Least there was something to look forward to, for once.