Chatter Among Planeswardens

“And listen, listen! I finally got the scoop on the Council’s latest plans!”

Among the crowds at the cafeteria, in between fights with the Omnisoda machine and the ice cream machine, Hiroki couldn’t help but mop the floors a little closer to the gaggle of rank and file Planeswardens huddling up and chattering among themselves. Sure, he could pay attention to someone putting a bit of every soda in their cup to create the legendary Omnisoda… Or maybe worry about that one guy lifting a vending machine in an attempt to get free Cheetos. However, he didn’t really get much of a chance to learn about the Planeswardens inner workings aside from people spilling the beans during break time.

“Sooooo,” said a girl with a head of a parakeet, flapping her wings excitedly as she brought her two friends together. “I heard a lot of things, you know! And one of those things I heard was about The Council finding a pilot for that weird dog robot we fought a few years ago!”

One of her friends, a bulky man with the horns of a ram, backed off, eyes wide with fear. “Y-you mean they’re actually going to shove one of us in Fenrir? What in the world are they thinking?! I hope I’m not chosen or anything!”

The girl beside him, one with several spidery eyes, placed a long, willowy finger on Ram man’s lips and hissed, “Shush, you! Nobody else is supposed to know this!” All of her eyes turned towards the parakeet girl as she asked, “And? What else is there to this, Yanda?”

Yanda’s beady eyes lit up as she leaned in closer and closer, enough that Hiroki had to stay much closer than he was comfortable with to hear what she was saying. “Iii heard that there’s a whole bunch of candidates, most of them picked by Ivan! Some, Aurelis picked… and then there’s whatever wild card Duer has in mind!”

Spider girl tilted her head to the side, her finger sliding down Ram man’s chin. “A wild card? How strange. Why would they need a wild card when Fenrir itself is a wild card? We don’t know how they’ll react with a new pilot, especially after awakening.”

“B-besides,” Ram man added with a large frown, “can we really trust Duer? I mean, his sect messed up big time a few years ago… Earth Planeswardens aren’t exactly, well, you know..”

Quickly, Yanda turned her head towards him, puffing her feathers up so she was much, much larger than him as she screeched, “Are you telling me they aren’t reliable? Huh? Is that it? Over one incident? Excuse me? You haven’t seen an incident happen like that again in their sect, have you, huh? HAVE YOU?” The ram man seemed- no, WAS tiny in comparison to Yanda, slumping over and mumbling something under his breath. Yanda shrunk down to her normal size before she continued with a huff, “I’m more suspicious of Ivan, anyway. Recently, he’s been a bit distant from the other Council members, and while his sect is thriving, there’s rumors that he’s artificially inflating those incident numbers to make himself look good. He has a perfect record… Too perfect, I’d say. I mean, what sect doesn’t have a screw up now and then?”

“I suppose you have a point there,” said Spider girl, reaching out for her drink and taking a few sips before pushing it away. “There has been tension between The Council as of late, namely due to those vigilante groups that have cropped up in each sect. Magus and his allies say that it’s better to work in tandem with them, while Ivan and friends prefer to keep to themselves, since they can cause more problems than its worth and are not to be trusted.”

Ram man took a deep breath, gathering the courage to say, “Well, okay, but um… that still doesn’t answer the question about the wild card. Any clues, Yanda? Shikla?”

Shikla drummed her fingers on her cheek, tilting her head to the other side as she closed her eyes. “If I were to take a guess, the wild card is someone who doesn’t have any allegiance to either Magus or Ivan. A neutral party who can act according to his own morals, without any ties to the politics happening here, and could step in in case something nasty happens between the two. Probably someone who isn’t a Planeswarden proper, maybe a mercenary who at least knows what they do.”

Yanda happily chirped in, “Maybe it’ll be one of those guys in that vigilante group! Can you imagine, a big ol’ praying mantis piloting Fenrir? Oooh, it’d be like a dream come true!”

“I’d sooner see one piloting those Aerogater replicas than piloting a dog,” Shikla replied with a snort. Even as Hiroki mopped the floor, he felt all of her eyes fall on him. Slowly he turned, his eyes meeting hers as she steepled her many fingers. “Oho, don’t think I didn’t notice you leaning in there, Mr. Janitor,” she said in a sickly sweet voice. “Eavesdropping on us is hardly becoming of you.”

Hiroki stared at her for a moment before he shrugged and said with a timid smile, “Guess I was caught red handed, huh?”

Yanda turned towards him, looking at him before she extended her wing and shoved him into the group, forcing him to take a seat with them. “Come on, then!” she said cheerfully. “If you wanted in, you could have just said something! Not everyone gets the chance to hear some juicy deets!”

“B-but won’t he get in trouble?” asked Ram man, twiddling his thumbs, his eyes darting across the room for any sign of other eavesdroppers. “Th-this is confidential information, and if they find out…”

“First, Andy,” Yanda said as she waved him off, “I’d be the one to get in trouble. And second, who’s gonna believe I was spilling confidential info? I’m so innocent and sweet and cute, to boot! I’m like Diadem, except I’m not an elf and my wardrobe is severely lacking!”

“And you’re not marrying Mr. Lazy Bones,” Shikla adds as she takes another sip of soda. “Though, I suppose he’s not entirely lazy. Now, new best friend-” her eyes turned towards Hiroki again, a smile spreading across her face that he couldn’t tell was sincere or devious - “what else would you like to know? Yanda here knows quite a bit, so ask away!”

Hiroki gulped. He wasn’t exactly used to being in the middle of a bunch of Planeswardens. Well, sitting next to them, at least. He was always fixing things or cleaning up after them, not really mingling with them. It was kind of isolating: there they were, with magic and alien technology and all these other things so many people on Earth thought didn’t exist, with powers that could take down inter-dimensional threats with ease. And then there was him: a normal guy, from a normal college, with the usual college debt, with nothing special about him aside from his impressive Pokemon Trading Card collection. Hardly anyone said anything to him, least aside from his Boss. So to be thrust in the middle of a bunch of aliens who welcomed him was a bit jarring.

Still, he shoved those anxieties right into the closet, put on his best fake smile, and said, “Well, I’d like to know more about those candidates! They must be pretty spectacular guys to be considered by Ivan, of all people!”

“Ohohoho, of course!” Yanda said as she covered her beak with a wing. “I don’t know all the details here, but mostly, they’re mages. They can control the bot’s mana flow better and make use of its powers easier than just some guy off the block, they say. Some of them are from his own sect, though. Blatant favoritism, but since he’s basically on par with Magus in importance, nobody can really say anything. Then there’s Aurelis’ picks, who are more alien. Says that Fenrir can’t manipulate those they can’t understand, so why not pick someone with morals and motivations that differ from the human race Fenrir annihilated?”

The very thought of an eldritch being piloting a robot sent shivers down Hiroki’s spine. Nervously, he grabbed at his long, black ponytail and started to twirl it around his finger as he said, “That might be just as dangerous, actually. It might be harder to for Fenrir to control, but it’ll be harder for us to control them, too. And what if they drive Fenrir insane? That would cause problems for everyone, wouldn’t it?”

Yanda tilted her head to the side before she let out a sigh. “Maybe, but it’s still worth a shot. Least, that’s what Aurelis thinks.” In a snap, Yanda perked up and raised her wings as she said happily, “And then Duer, our hot doggy dog Duer, oooh, you’ll never guess who he decided to suggest first!”

Shikla smirked. “It’s that big mantis you told us about, isn’t it?”

Andy slumped over, looking away from the trio as he said, “I… I guess maybe Ginocini? He doesn’t really have much of a tie to the Planeswardens as he does to Diadem, and he was a mercenary for a long while…”

“A bunch of space dogs with space helmets and Telekinesis!” Hiroki said cheerfully. “A buncha dogs piloting a big dog, can you imagine? Hired by a meteor dog!” He laughed, though there was a tinge of anxiety in it. He hoped they didn’t know too much-

“Bzzt! Wrong, wrong, wrong! I actually heard from the rumor mill… thaaat… iiit’s gonna be a random janitor!”

Oh, no. They knew too much. He considered telling Duer about this, maybe asking what his real reasoning was behind showing him… Fenrir, was it? But maybe there was no harm in this. It was just three ol Planeswardens, its not like it fell into enemy hands…

Before he could think on it any longer, the trio of aliens heard their phones buzz all at once. They took them out, and Hiroki could see clearly that it was an alarm.

“Oh, shoot, is it Dr. Splitter again?” Yanda said with a groan. “I’m tired of him popping up and splicing animals together. Who needs to see a dog spliced into a mantis shrimp, anyway?”

“I’m more worried about what’ll happen if Mr. Bigglesworth gets to him,” Shikla said with a shudder. “That’s one fight I really don’t want to see.”

“Th-then we should probably hurry up, huh?”

The trio stood up, Yanda facing Hiroki and patting him on the back as she said, “Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Janitor, but we gotta split! I’ll try to get more juicy deets for you later, hear? Bye byyyye~”

Hiroki waved at them with a goofy smile on his face, more than eager for them to return. Maybe they’d share tales of their latest fight with Dr. Splitter… or maybe more details about the candidates. Or maybe-

CRASH. Hiroki turned towards the back, a corner of his lip twitching as the one Planeswarden so eager to get a bag of chips, dropped the vending machine on the floor and smashed the glass, taking the one bag of Cheetos that got stuck.

At least he’d have his own little story to tell when the trio got back... right?