Dischord in Discord

(Note: this was all done on a whim because I was bored and wanted to indulge in stupid things while doing some worldbuilding. Or, uh, character development, anyway. So please enjoy this smattering of dorks being dorks and a shameful attempt to replicate Chatzy Madness on a smaller scale. )

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Dischord in Discord 27: It's Beginning To Look A Lot like Saltmas

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BeautifulChrimmus: guys
BeautifulChrimmus: it crimmus
BeautifulChrimmus: merr crimmus
MiraculousMaiden: it's december, not christmas
TheHolyKnight: In december, every day is Christmas, my dear maiden~
BeautifulChrimmus: ...are you just outright flirting with her
TheHolyKnight: Yes!
MiraculousMaiden: he's always like that
RaymooFan: He's basically Brock, Drying Pan puns included.
BeautifulChrimmus: ...You mean he actually sung a song about chosing between Jenny and Joy?
RaymooFan: Oh shit.
TheHolyKnight: ...
TheHolyKnight: ...
TheHolyKnight: no, but that's a fantastic idea, brb-
WhiteTurtleDove: good mo-
WhiteTurtleDove: oh dear
MiraculousMaiden: inb4 he just reenacts the Pokemon Musical
BeautifulChrimmus: >:D

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MerryFool: hey tort
WhiteTurtleDove: ?
MerryFool: i got the goods
WhiteTurtleDove: ?!??!?!?
MiraculousMaiden: what goods we talkin
MerryFool: I don't know how she did it, but she managed to send me an early gift!
MerryFool: AND ITS KIRBY STAR ALLIES
BeautifulChrimmus: *ALARMS WHIRRING*
MiraculousMaiden: OOOOH SHIT KIRBPOCOLYPSE COMING
RaymooFan: oh lawd he comin
WhiteTurtleDove: It has my best friend in the DLC soooo
WhiteTurtleDove: Have fuuuun~
MerryFool: Oh... oh man, oh boy oh man oh
DurianDinosaur: fool's mind is explode
MiraculousMaiden: It explodes every time everyone gifts him a gift, it's crazy
MerryFool: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO GIVE ME ANYTHING AND YET HERE YOU GUYS ARE BEING TOO NICE
MerryFool: I CAN'T TAKE IT
MiraculousMaiden: Then perish.
MerryFool: D:

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TheHolyKnight: I'm drowning in Christmas plays yet again!
TheHolyKnight: My throat will go hoarse from all this caroling!
MiraculousMaiden: Is one of those a Godzilla Christmas?
TheHolyKnight: I wish. :c
BeautifulChrimmus: Wait, wait, there's... there's plays?
BeautifulChrimmus: About Godzilla?
MiraculousMaiden: They're kinda small-time plays because its a niche thing that opened up once CGI became the norm in kaiju movies
MiraculousMaiden: The kaiju are smaller to scale but still pretty stinkin big
TheHolyKnight: They're fun to do, especially for the soundboard guys!
TheHolyKnight: We had a drought of them until one guy presented one where Baragon was actually... *gasp* a competent hero!
TheHolyKnight: could have sworn one of the guys hyperventilated at the sheer thought
RaymooFan: Baragon fan located
DurianDinosaurs: They exist?
TheHolyKnight: There's fans of Death Ghidorah. Here, anything can hadplen
TheHolyKnight: But alas, no Godzilla Christmas. Nobody's been bold enough to try. So instead I'm random background carolers, a Grinch who steals Christmas, and ghosts.
BeautifulChrimmus: YOU MONSTER
TheHolyKnight: I'm a mean one as the Grinch~
WhiteTurtleDove: He really is a heel
DurianDinosaur: As cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel!
MiraculousMaiden: MR. GRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINCH
RaymooFan: Only fruit flies and maggots think he's a steal.
TheHolyKnight: D:
BeautifulChrimmus: 911? Hello? I'd like to report a murder...


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DurianDinosaur: spino update
DurianDinosaur: there is still a spino-shaped hole in my heart
DurianDinosaur: santa, are you watching?
DurianDinosaur: Are you listening?
DurianDinosaur: plz gib spino
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BecauseCrimbo: So that last convo about Godzilla plays got me thinking
BecauseCrimbo: I looked them up and... uh, Attack of Bridezilla's one of those!
MiraculousMaiden: Uh oh.
WhiteTurtleDove: OH NO
RaymooFan: Brando, I STRONGLY
RaymooFan: HEAVILY
RaymooFan: suggest you don't start with that.
BecauseCrimbo: ...Why did I just get chills from that?
RaymooFan: You're a cyrokinetic.
MerryFool: Knight coming in 3... 2... 1...
MerryFool: 1...
MerryFool: 1...
MerryFool: ...he's not coming is he
TheHolyKnight: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS MOTHRA, DON'T
TheHolyKnight: DO NOT
TheHolyKnight: IT IS A DISASTER FROM START TO FINISH
BecauseCrimbo: ...I know I shouldn't... but I must know
MiraculousMaiden: don't do it, Brando
MiraculousMaiden: You have so much to live for!
WhiteTurtleDove: Like Emily! And Dia! And Kirby!
WhiteTurtleDove: Kirby believes in you!
BecauseCrimbo: BUT I HAVE TO KNOW
TheHolyKnight: *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*
TheHolyKnight: Okay then, tell me: What do you think when you hear the title?
TheHolyKnight: What do you think is gonna happen?
BecauseCrimbo: Some gal Godzilla's getting married to Mothra finally
BecauseCrimbo: Then just as the wedding bells toll, a Ghidorah wannabe ruins the wedding
BecauseCrimbo: Bridezilla, blind with rage, goes on a rampage to find the culprit, humans and the Mothra Fairies scrambling to find this monster and point Bridezilla in the right direction before Tokyo is destroyed, both by a grieving dino and Ghidorah being a shit
BecauseCrimbo: Mothra Larvae Twins are included.
TheHolyKnight: That's... that's amazing
DurianDinosaur: I don't think Godzilla and Mothra are the type to get married to each other tho
BecauseCrimbo: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
RaymooFan: If I don't see this script on my desk by New Years, you're grounded.
BecauseCrimbo: D:
TheHolyKnight: Amazing... but I'm sorry to say, this play wasn't that.
TheHolyKnight: It's basically "typical Bridezilla sheenanigans played completely straight, complete with Godzilla contemplating about this marriage"
TheHolyKnight: its like... the concept was RIGHT THERE
TheHolyKnight: THEY COULD HAVE MADE SOMETHING COOL, MAYBE NOT NECESSARILY GROUNDBREAKING BUT THEY COULD HAVE CHANGED THE WAY WE PERCIEVED GODZILLA
TheHolyKnight: But NOPE, gotta make fun of Bridezillas and a wedding gone wrong, complete with the sickening vibe of, "oh, those wimmen!"
TheHolyKnight: I absolutely despise it because it's not a Godzilla play, it's a play about a wedding gone wrong and treated like a joke (that wasn't even executed well, I could go on for aeons on that)... the people just so happen to be guys in kaiju suits.
TheHolyKnight: there's not even an epic fight scene.
TheHolyKnight: What's the point of a kaiju play if there's not even going to be a big stupid fight or big stupid destuction?
MiraculousMaiden: There was big stupid destruction, tho
MiraculousMaiden: a destuction of a marriage
TheHolyKnight: ...You got me, but you're on thin ice, maiden.
MiraculousMaiden: OH BRANDO
MiraculousMaiden: WATCH  THIS
WhiteTurtleDove: OOOH NO MAID DON'T DO IT
MiraculousMaiden: Baragon did nothing wrong.
TheHolyKnight: LKJSGDKLGJGJIOSDFJOGSDIOGSGDjuofd dfjioghhjdf aso MAID FOR FUCK'S SAKE WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
MerryFool: it's beginning to look a lot like Saltmas
TheHolyKnight: BARAGON DID EVERYTHING WRONG
TheHolyKnight: the cake wasn't even impressive!
MiraculousMaiden: You're only saying that because you're jealous nobody saved you a slice afterwards.
MiraculousMaiden: you tsundorke
TheHolyKnight: ...I-It's n-not like I WANTED any cake, b-baka...
BecauseCrimbo: WAIT
BecauseCrimbo: WAITWAITWAITWAIT
BecauseCrimbo: DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE IN IT
RaymooFan: Holy fuck, what?
DurianDinosaur: waht a tweest!
WhiteTurtleDove: :OOOOOOOOOOOO
TheHolyKnight: ofuk
TheHolyKnight: MAIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MiraculousMaiden: gottem
DurianDinosaur: ...which kaiju were you
TheHolyKnight: It's a secret~
MiraculousMaiden: He's Jet Jaguar.
TheHolyKnight: ... maid plz.
DurianDinosaur: That was YOU?!
DurianDinosaur: But there's no hamminess to be seen!
TheHolyKnight: They wanted me to play it straight.
TheHolyKnight: If they paid me to do this again, I'm going full blown impromtu with the buds. >:I
MiraculousMaiden: not even boring plays are safe... not for long
RaymooFan: so tl;dr: Knight suffered for man's sins. press F to pay respects.
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MiraculousMaiden: SO WHO WANTS TO SAVE CHRISTMAS?!?
TheHolyKnight: ME!
DurianDinosaur: ME
WhiteTurtleDove: D: Who is stealing Christmas this time?
MiraculousMaiden: I have no fucking clue but if anyone wants to come to Manhattan for a jolly good time come on over
TheHolyKnight: THE TIME HAS COME AND SO HAVE I
RaymooFan: An incident?
RaymooFan: Time to be Reimu.
MerryFool: Wish I can help...
BeforeCrimmus: I'd help but I'm at work ;_;
WhiteTurtleDove: Give Maid your energy so she can save Christmas! \o/
MerryFool: \o/
BeforeCrimmus: \o/
DurianDinosaur: I don't got no hands
DurianDinosaur: how can i support my friend now?
BeforeCrimmus: Don't worry, Pookums will put up her paws for you!
DurianDinosaur: :, )

*LATER*

MiraculousMaiden: WE DID IT
MiraculousMaiden: WE SAVED CHRISTMAS
MiraculousMaiden: FROM CORPORATE GREED OR some shit
RaymooFan: We saved it from the mob.
MiraculousMaiden: SAME THING
TheHolyKnight: Maiden pulls out a miracle as usual, my heart swelling three sizes as she kicks his ass~
BeforeCrimmus: Did you blast him with Holy?
MiraculousMaiden: I was outta juice
MiraculousMaiden: so I piledrove him into the ground
DurianDinosaur: BAH GAWD
WhiteTurtleDove: :O Just like in your wrestling days!
MiraculousMaiden: I'm surprised you remember
RaymooFan: Pretty sure Knight just showed her a whole bunch of those clips and she went on a binging spree.
TheHolyKnight: Either way, Santa's off to do Christmas things and we're all going out to dinner! :D
RaymooFan: Debating whether we should go to a steakhouse or an all-you-can-eat buffet.
BeforeCrimmus: Uh, maybe eat somewhere where you don't slip into a food coma right before present-opening time?
RaymooFan: Ha!
RaymooFan: Haha!
RaymooFan: Nope.
MiraculousMaiden: we could always eat at the Target food court again
MiraculousMaiden: Target, sponsor me, I used your stupid fuckin store as a weapon
DurianDinosaur: Did you see Spino?
TheHolyKnight: Oh, you poor soul.
TheHolyKnight: No, so I had to make due with an Indoraptor.
DurianDinosaur: >:I 0/10

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MiraculousMaiden: Okay, its time
MiraculousMaiden: What should I have for Christmas Eve Breakfast
MiraculousMaiden: dork.choose soup, cereal
DorkBot5000 [BOT]: It's time for soup!
MiraculousMaiden: make room for some maruchan, bitches

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WhiteTurtleDove: HASHIRE SORI YO
KAZE NO YOU NI
TSUKIMIHARA WO
PADORU PADORU

*WhiteTurtleDove immediately swarms the discord with a flood of cute chibi girls in santa suits, with some christmas cats mixed in*

MiraculousMaiden: THE PADORUING BEGINS
BIG CHRISTMAS: MERRY CRIM
TheHolyKnight: I-I can't handle all these girls
TheHolyKnight: wh-what's a man to do?
RaymooFan: Nothing, because I'm stealing them all.
MiraculousMaiden: Oh shit
WhiteTurtleDove: NO STEALING
WhiteTurtleDove: ONLY LOOKING


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MiraculousMaiden: Christmas report
MiraculousMaiden: i'm fucking drowning in presents
MiraculousMaiden: and Fool just flooded me with steam games
MiraculousMaiden: i'm dying
MiraculousMaiden: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
TheHolyKnight: You're our friend.
TheHolyKnight: That alone is enough reason~
MiraculousMaiden: LKJGDKLSJLJGKLGGJS SHUT UP
RaymooFan: Welp, time to explode her with sappy shit
WhiteTurtleDove: >:D My time has come!
MiraculousMaiden: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*RIP Maiden, died of kindness*