Three...two...one.
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Would he ever return?
King Dedede looked towards the skies, unusually pensive this night. He was only thinking about an enemy who had the gall to possess him not once, not twice, but thrice! That Dark Matter… and by extention, Zero. It had been years since he had seen them last, their last appearance being when they corrupted Ripple Star. Kirby defeated them thrice (at least, in Dark Matter’s case), each with a different ability: First, the legendary Rainbow Sword formed by the Rainbow Drops; second, the Heart Rod, or Lovelove Stick, formed by all the love and friendship of the people he helped along the way; and finally, the Crystal Gun, formed by the power shards of Ripple Star’s Power Crystal. It had been enough to banish them… at least for now, he thought.
Dream Land had been relatively peaceful ever since Zero was destroyed. Sure, there was that Mirror World mishap, that cake rampage Kirby went on, that Necrodeus incident, everybody turning to yarn, and now that ship repairing work, but really, there were no Nightmares, no Dark Matter, no absolute chaos. If he wanted chaos, he had to make his own. Not that he went out of his way to do that, mind you. That cost too much effort, and would only result in seven kirbies beating him up for his trickery. One angry kirby was bad enough, but seven? Well, Kabi was angry aaaall the time, so it didn’t matter, but an angry Timmy or angry Kusanagi? That would be painful, rather painful. Keeby was a different story altogether…. A story he didn’t want to even talk about.
For a moment, King Dedede wondered if Zero would return. It had been too long since something remotely threatening had come along. He needed a challenge or two. Sitting on his buttocks all day was no way to do that. Sure, it was fun being lazy, but come on! He sighed and went back to bed, though. There was no way Zero would return. Just no way…
A strange dream came to him. The penguin found himself strangely alone in his castle. He walked the corridors, trying to find out where everybody was at. Fumu wasn’t home, Escargoon wasn’t in his room, the Waddle Dees weren’t tending to their duties… what was going on?
When Dedede got outside, he found his answer.
Something descended from the skies. Red feathers fell slowly to the ground. Dedede picked one up, only to find it melt in his hands like a snowflake exposed to heat. Melt into blood. All of Dream Land were gathered here in front of his castle, watching the strange spectacle. Even the Kirby Brigade was there, staring high into the skies. Kirby was strangely pale, his pupils shrinking to the size of tiny pebbles.
“O, YE OF LITTLE FAITH….” A voice boomed out from the heavens, capturing everyone’s attention. The skies were stained black with streaks of red, crimson feathers still falling from the skies. “DID YOU TRULY THINK YOU COULD ESCAPE ME?”
The ground was stained with blood. The people began to feel uneasy. Keeby shuddered, hiding under her parasol as Kusanagi tried his best to comfort her. Dedede grit his teeth and pulled out his hammer, pointing it towards the heavens right at the source of the voice. “Hey, you dere!” he yelled. “Why you causin trouble here? I didn’t order no monstah to clobbah dat Kirbeh! Git out of here, or I’ll clobbah yah!”
A cruel, wicked laugh echoed from the clouds. “FOOLISH AS EVER, ARE YOU… KING DEDEDE?”
“Oh, shut ya mouth and leave! You’re not even worth our time!”
“UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU WOULDN’T BE WORTH MINE. HOWEVER, YOU HAVE BEEN A THORN AT MY SIDE FOR TOO LONG.” Now the feathers stopped in midair and formed into blades of blood, pointing right at Dream Land’s population. The commoners felt the urge to scatter, run away from whatever threatened them. The Brigade, however, stood their ground. So did the Waddle Dee and Waddle Doo army and their beloved King. Another laugh from the skies. “HOW CUTE. YOU STILL OPPOSE ME LIKE THE LITTLE WORMS YOU ARE.”
“Git out,” Dedede warned, anger bubbling in his heart, “or I’ll MAKE YA GIT OUT!”
Something white hovered above all. It was not a cloud, not at all. It was merely a white blob, just floating there. Yet… it began to form wings. Many wings of blood and torn flesh formed on the blob. Three spiked, green tails formed from the bottom. A crimson halo appeared above the blob while tiny little wounds opened up around it. Finally, in the middle of it all… was a gigantic red eyeball.
Reality twisted around him, shifting into nightmares. A dark aura surrounded him, the essence of evil radiating from every pore of his body. He laughed again as some of the blades floating in midair crashed into the land, crashed away from the castle… and turned all that they touched into ashes.
“I AM THE HARBINGER OF DESTRUCTION.”
Screams rang through the air like a twisted siren song.
“I AM THE SERAPHIM OF DEATH.”
One by one, the people disappeared. The cappies, the Waddle Dees, the Waddle Doos, the Kirbies…
“I EXIST NOWHERE AND EVERYWHERE.”
Until only Dedede remained, staring the creature right in the eye, entire body shuddering.
“YOU THINK YOU CAN OPPOSE ME?”
Thump. Thump.
“ME, ZERO CUBED?”
The penguin resisted all urges to scream, but fell down onto the ground as the red eye stared right through him…right in front of him…
“I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF NOTHINGNESS ACROSS THREE DIMENSIONS. YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD STOP ME… DEDEDE.”
A hammer raised. All fear, gone.
“HOW CUTE. YOU STILL OPPOSE ME.”
A weapon swung.
“BUT AS YOU WILL SOON FIND…”
A piercing scream. The ground, rended.
“… NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO BANISH ME…”
Nothing remaining of the last Dream Lander. A cackle.
“YOUR DOOM BY MY HANDS WAS INEVITIBLE FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.”
Dedede woke with a start. Carefully, he looked around the room for any sign of life. Bandana Dee was sleeping in his own little bed, unharmed. Owls were hooting late at night, trying to find their prey. With a sigh, the penguin shook his head, then went back to sleep.
It was a good thing that Zero would never come back. Thank goodness for that.
"How can i help you, King Dedede?"
ReplyDelete"I need a monsta to clobba that there creepy!"
After they defeat Zero Cubed comes Zero To The Fourth Power!!!
ReplyDeleteSoon as he hits 0^4, all of existance as we know it is fucked. You know this to be true.
ReplyDeleteSorry buddy. Good entrance, but Zero Cubed is a ridiculous name. I should know, I love ridiculous names.
ReplyDeleteWELL, EXCUSE ME FOR FOLLOWING A PATTERN. AND BY THE WAY, NICE GOING AT BEING DEFEATED BY A SPACE MARINE, A ROBOT, A TRANSFORMER, AND BY A ORBITAL FRIENDSHIP BEAM. EVEN I HAVEN'T DIED THAT MANY TIMES, AND IT'S STILL REDICULOUS.
ReplyDelete...I would the think the fact that a wall was instrumental in his demise would have made much better insult material than say a person who fights hordes of alien monstrosities for a living, The Warrior of Wind with more weapon mods than I have fingers, and Optimus Prime, Mr Cubed
ReplyDelete