-ORION, DEMON WORLD RELGION, A 4 BEDROOM APARTMENT-
"Scarlet?"
The red-haired succubus turned her attention away from her weightlifting for just a moment.
"Yeah, Tina?"
The purple-haired succubi turned to her and opened up the wallet they shared amongst them.
"We have only five dollars left."
"Eh? What's the problem? We can buy a pizza wizzat, eh?"
"That's not even enough for a small pizza."
"...Really?"
"Pizza is expensive."
The weights fell down with a clang as the buff succubus sat down in a chair and groaned. Less money, more problems, as per usual. It was hard enough trying to stand out as succubi, but when none of them had proper jobs...
Tina hovered above the ground, breaking into a sweat and adjusting her half moon glasses as she wailed, "We're going broke, Scarlet! Really, really broke! And we haven't had a bounty to chase in ages!"
Scarlet stood up, grumbling to herself as she stumbled over to a desk and opened up a laptop, checking the latest updates on a particular site. "That's because they're all so boring," she groaned. "I don't want to chase a tiny worm on a motorbike or arrest a dullahan for ruining old lady Erin's sheets with their baisin of blood, I want to wrestle a giant boar into submission or gut one of those smug Dark Council guys or maybe even rip out the spine of ten headed dragon and beat the hell out of him with it! Something that involves punching the everloving shit out of things!" She scrolled a little more down the site before slamming her fists down and yelling, "For fuck's sake, they even have a bounty on a little shrimp demon who accidently brought gold to that fancy-pants dullahan's birthday party! What was his name again? I forget."
"Sir Rodou Fliberget," Tina replied, although her eyes narrowed as she continued, "but that's besides the point! We need money, Scarlet! We can't afford to be late with rent again and live off ramen cups for the next month!"
"Well, gee, I know about that, but these boring ones don't even pay well!"
"Anything is good! Literally anything that can put more food on our table is good!"
"Ugh, fine, but I absolutely refuse to deal with-"
"GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYS!"
The sound of things being knocked over and a cat screaming could be heard as a blue haired succubus, dressed in black and in the most modest clothing imaginable for a succubus, emerged from her bedroom and ran over to the living room with all haste, holding a flyer in her hand and bouncing up and down.
"Guysguysguysguysguysguysguuuuuuuys!" she squealed. "I got us a job! A really good paying job! One that'll pay us enough to get six months of rent and a lot of food!"
With one quick movement, she unfurled the poster, revealing the faces of three children, each one with a full set of witch clothing and posing as if they were making a rap album cover for magical girls.
"Sunflower, Lily, and Merrigold!" the succubus said, triumphant in her findings. "Three witches directly responsible for the deaths of many innocent demons and with many crimes under their belt, such as arson, grand larceny, several counts of murder, burglary, muggings, and putting too much sugar in someone's coffee!"
Scarlet gave her friend a blank stare. "That last one isn't even a crime, Sora."
"It is when the poor victim has diabetes," Sora retorted. She then pointed down at reward and said, "Either way, we'd be paid big bucks! Big bucks! I mean, $100,000 dollars! What a steal!"
Tina sighed, "Which really isn't all that much when you calculate all these expenses-"
"Hey! Don't ruin the moment! Five extra zeros is pretty good!"
The buffcubus took the poster from Sora's hands and leaned back in her chair, staring hard at the picture. "They look like kids, though," she grumbled. "Are they really much of a threat? I don't want a punt a kid if they can't punt back."
"I did the research!" Sora shouted, cheeks puffed up in indignation. "You know that heavily secured house down the street? With all those rich Greed-wannabes?"
Scarlet raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? What about 'em?"
"They set the security on fire and cleaned house with every room! Didn't even leave an extra pair of clothing for those guys! Remember when we tried breaking in, Tina?"
Tina cringed at the mention of breaking in, barely sputtering out, "I-it wasn't breaking in! We were just taking a look! At all the pretty gems and golden pocket watches! Yeah, that!"
"We nearly died, Scarlet," Sora adds, a gloomy, serious look on her face. "Those security guards weren't playing around."
The buffcubus whistles for a moment and grins. "Guessin' that happened when you guys were living on the streets together, strapped for cash, huh? And you two were pretty strong gals back then, too." She then stood up, turning to Sora and asking, "So, when are these three little shithead musketeers the most active? I'd like to catch 'em in the act and use them as our personal bowling balls at Big Brownie's Bowling Bonanza next time we go!"
Sora squealed in excitement, doing a little jig in place as Tina smiled and hurried to clean up the apartment.
Scarlet, though?
She cracked her knuckles and summoned her greatsword to her side.
There was a witch hunt to be had.
No comments:
Post a Comment