Thursday, November 13, 2014

A Demon's Grand Adventure, Chapter 1: A Meeting with Gluttony

-RELGION, GLUTTONY MANOR-

"Of all the people we could ask for information..."

 Satoshi was not pleased. Not one bit. They had to fly a bit of ways out to get here to the manor. After Scarlet strangled the mothman half to death, it admitted that it didn't know much else about the situation other than what he heard, and that it would be much better to ask someone else. Trying to ask Ra for advice was out of the question, or at least, Scarlet insisted on not bothering with him. Penelope didn't know much about the situation either; It was too new, so nobody knew much about the situation to even gossip about the possibilities.

 Unfortunately, that left only one choice.

 "We have to ask him," the demon said with a scowl.

 "Worth a shot, at least," Scarlet said as she approached the wooden double doors and knocked. Tina and Sora were dragging Felix's unconcious body with them, tied up with chains. "He gave some pretty good info last time I asked for help, he might give us a hand here, too."

 Satoshi crossed his arms and grumbled, "I don't see how. We don't have any sort of bribe for him."

 "Why do you think I brought this dumbass along?" Scarlet pointed at the nekomata with a smirk. "He wasn't worth much, just 100 bucks or so, but information on how to kick Dark Council ass? Priceless!"

 "So you're actually planning to feed this petty thief to him. What a fate to wake up to."

 "You got any better ideas?"

 "We could ask someone else rather than a demon who cares only for satisfying his own lust for food."

 "Oh yes, let's go ask Ra, who wants my eyes! That'll turn out really great, yep! And nobody else knows jack shit about this. Face it: this guy's our only source right now, and if that means feeding his dumb ass, whatever."

 The doors swung open before Satoshi could respond, two Prinnies happily leading the succubi and the sole male demon right inside. It was cushy as always, with a giant kitchen and an even bigger living area, where Prinnies played and ate and watched TV amongst themselves. Satoshi glanced around, taking in all the paintings of food and portraits of the owner, while Scarlet marched on up towards the staircase and called out, "OIIIII! GLUTTONY! GET YOUR STINKIN' ASS OVER HERE!"

 No response. The bounty hunter rolled her eyes.

 "HEEEEEY! PORKHEAD!"

 Still nothing.

 "Perhaps you should call him Your Graciousness, The Lord of All Things Food, Grand Duke Gluttony," Satoshi said sarcastically.

 Scarlet exchanged a look with her fellow bounty hunter before calling out once more in a sweeter, more seducing voice, "Oh, Lord Gluttony, your graciousness~! We have brought you a gift, my lord~"

  Satoshi paled, his jaw dropping as far as it could go. The buffcubus never uses that voice! Never! This wouldn't even wo-

"Oh, did you~? How ever so sweet of you, my darling Scarly~!" came the sing-song reply.

 Of all the times to be wrong.

 He pirouetted in like a ballerina, droplets of water falling from his short, black hair, wearing nothing but suit pants, his butler clothing wraped around his neck with his towel. His idiot hairs danced in the wind with him, as he spun on his toes and posed at the top of the staircase with a cheeky grin.

 "Ta-da~ The wonderful, lovable, huggable, ever-so-hungry scoundrel of darkness, Lord Gluttony, is here~!" the sin said with a flourish and a wink. "So nice of you to let me grace your presence, my dears! Especially you, Scarlet!"

 If it were possible to come whiter than a sheet bleached several times over, Satoshi was just that, shocked that Scarlet's plan even worked. Scarlet couldn't help but grin.

"About time, porkhead! What took you so long, huh?"

 Gluttony frowned and crosssed his arms. "I liked it better when you called me 'Lord Gluttony,' " he pouted, taking his towel and drying his hair. "And I was just getting out of the shower when you called me, so excuuuse me for taking my sweet time. Unleeeesss... " A mischevious grin spread on his face. "You like me all wet, hmmm~?"

 He promptly found himself socked by a couch pillow. "Piss off!" yelled Scarlet, picking up another pillow and socking him with that, too, just for good measure. "I only came here because you might know something we don't!"

 "Awww, not for little ol' me?" Gluttony replied with a sigh, picking up the pillows and allowing the Prinnies to take them back where they belonged. "Too much to hope for? Weeeell... if you have questions, I have answers!" The demon glanced over at Satoshi and added, "Although I didn't expect you to bring him along! It's been a while, hasn't it, Satoshi Nakamura! Or shall I call you Sato-chan~?"

 Satoshi responded with a glare, "Do not test me, glutton. I need only your information on the Dark Council's plans. Not your damned nicknames and jokes."

 "Good to see you're a sour apple as always," Gluttony sighed again beforre sliding down the stairway railing and leaping into a kitchen chair. He tapped the table twice, loud enough to catch the attention of his servants. The prinnies dropped whatever they were doing and rushed towards the kitchen, putting on chef hats, getting fresh ingredients from cabinets and the fridge, and generally preparing to cook. He motioned again towards the other demons to sit down, and sit down, they did. Sora didn't, however; she was busy zapping Felix back into unconciousness once he managed to open his eyes.

 The gluttonous demon put his hands together and asked, "So, interested in the Dark Council again, are we? Isn't it a bit too soon to jump back headfirst into the fray? You are their most hated enemy, after all~!"

 Satoshi closed his eyes and crossed his arms. "I wish I did not have to, but I must," he said. "There is news that they kidnapped a queen for her powers and plan on ruling all of Relgion... and the Overworld. Is this news true?"

 "Indeed it is! Raven Queen business! Poor girl was put under a spell in the middle of the night, whisked off by demons of yore! Her power is a fine one, too, I hear! Power over darkness and all of the Tengu! Trapped in a little bird  cage and guarded by Overlord Adreneil!"

 Satoshi opened his eyes and glared, Scarlet and Tina wide-eyed at these relavations. "You mean they actually went up TO the Overworld to kidnap a poor old lady?!" Tina asked. "That's just rude, impolite, rude, stupid, and did I mention rude?"

 "You said it like three times, Tina, calm down! Although I forget: Who the fuck is Adreneil? I can't remember all these fucking names now."

 "The major Rifle Demon," Satoshi said, voice full of scorn, "who claimed the title his predecessor had after I had killed him. He is despicable, strongarming others into doing what he wishes and forcing women into his harem. One who is more than eager to toss them away like used rags once he's done with them."

 "Eeeeeexactly!" Gluttony said cheerfully, as the Prinnies started setting the table and laid down cups of tea for the group of demons. Their master took a sip before continuing, "He's a selfish little demon who wants nothing but power, power, power! Pretty persistant and vengeful, too. Oh, did you know he sent a gang of ghouls after me after I took a bite out of Mistress Sanella?" He began to pout again, looking away and crossing his arms, even after the Prinnies set out a plate of pork and beans. "It was just one little nibble, and he sends out an army, can you believe that?"

 Scarlet stared at Gluttony blankly. "How big was this nibble, porkhead? Because I doubt a little nibble would have pissed him off enough to send an army after you."

  Gluttony looked back at her in surprise before holding his arms out wide. "It was thiiiiiis little! Honest!"

 Everyone at the table groaned, although Gluttony wasn't exactly sure what the big deal was. "Moving on," said Scarlet with a grunt, "So, can we just storm their headquarters or something and kick ass? That's the easiest way to deal with them, probably. Fastest way, too."

 "Ha! You wish it were that easy, my dear Scarly~!" the sinful dullahan taunted before clearing his plate of food. "But nooope, never that easy! You see, Lord Ardeneil may be full of muscle and rage, but he isn't stupid. Anticipating what some people would do, he placed a spell on the Dark Council Headquarters much to the north of here. I hear that only his finest generals hold the keys to opening them! Six in total! Scattered across Relgion, much to eeeeveryone's annoyance~! Isn't that nice, hmm?"

  Satoshi grumbled, "Of course, they force others to go on a fool's errand to reach them. Of course they do." He took a sip of tea and slumped in his chair ever so slightly, holding his head with a hand. "Never as easy as it seems. Looks like I will be the fool to go on this errand, if only to stop them."

 Scarlet turned towards her fellow bounty hunter with a glare and snapped, "Oh, not without me, you don't! I've been rearing to have a go at these guys, and now's my chance to kick their asses and show who's the real deal!"

 "And maybe become Overlord while she's at it!" Tina added, pumping her fist into the air.

  Satoshi seemed unphased by Scarlet's glare as he continued to sip his tea. "You must not be aware that the council usually does not pull punches, Scarlet. They will anihiliate you first chance they get. I have experience with them, while you do not." Another sip. He took a moment to think before he added coldly, "I am better off unhindered by allies, anyhow."

 The buffcubus slammed her hands on the table, hard enough so that Gluttony's teacup soared through the air. "Fuck that noise!" she snapped. "The best way to get experience is to toss yourself out there into the fray and never stop swinging! I need something trying to anihilate me because the last couple of fucks that tried were piss easy! And apparently, you forgot that we worked together before and we were a dream team, you dumbass! So don't give me any of this lone wolf bullshit; I'm joining you, and that's that!"

 The bounty hunter glared back at Scarlet, opening his mouth to speak, when he realized it would not be a fight he could win. She would only force herself in, whether he liked it or not. He instead settled for, "Fine then, if you insist. But don't get in my way."

 "Wasn't planning on being on your way, Sato! Also, Tina's coming because a healer is always a great idea, right?"

 "Darn skippy!" Tina said with a smile. "I'll be the best healer and ally you could ever ask for!"

 "One hinderance is fine, but two? No."

 "Shut the hell up, Sato, because she's coming with us anyway! She can handle herself almost as well as I can!"

 "Not against the Council," Satoshi emphasized, standing up and slamming his hands into the table. "Neither of you know what I've been through trying to deal with them! They are a menace! A blight! They aren't your simple bounties you've hunted before; they are demons to their very core, doing anything they can to kill anything they deem a threat! I won't allow you two to throw yourselves into something you barely-"

 "A-HEM."

 The demons turned towards Gluttony, who was casually waving the cooked heart of... what was that? A tiamat? Well, whatever it was, he was casually waving it in the air, his fork piercing right into it, looking rather bored.

 "Sorry to interupt your lovers' quarrel," he said, "but shouldn't you worry more about where these keys are and who these generals are before you argue over who does what and all? Besides, you're being rather loud, and I can't concentrate on just how tasty this is with you guys yelling at each other over stupid things."

 Scarlet and Satoshi exchanged glances angrily before taking their seats in a huff and looking away from one another.

 "I guess so," Scarlet said, watching as Sora summoned a marker and drew all over Felix's bald spot. "Guessing you know who they are and where they are?"

 "No to the former, yes to the latter! But do me a favor, Scarly~?"

 Scarlet paled, especially when he flashed that shit-eating grin. "Y-yeah?"

 "Please call me 'Lord Gluttony' agaaain~ I like you better when you call me that!"

 And there went the entire table, sending everything on it flying towards the Sin as Scarlet roared and put her entire strength into it. Tina scrambled behind Satoshi, who sat there quietly and watched as the table broke over Gluttony's head and all of that tea spilled onto his head.

 Gluttony blinked once before groaning out, "Aaaw, and I just took a shower a few minutes ago!"

 "I'm surprised you aren't unconcious from that alone," Satoshi commented.

 "I was always told I had a hard head, you see. And they're right!"

 Scarlet coughed, Prinnies working their hardest to clean up the mess and their master as the buffcubus lost herself in her thoughts. Her eyes darted between the prinnies and Gluttony. Prinnies. Gluttony. The sin couldn't help but raise an eyebrow before the buffcubus asked, "You have an army, money, and some power of your own. Why not go and handle the Dark Council with us?"

 It was fortunate that Satoshi didn't have any tea on hand. Otherwise, he would have spat it out in shock. "Are you mad?!" he asked, eyes wide. "You are asking one of the Seven Sins to help us?!? A devourer of worlds?! Someone so foul, he was banished here by the Sages of Orion?!?"

 "Normally, I wouldn't. But you say this council is dangerous and blah blah blah. Better if we have the extra manpower, even if I don't like him."

 "But he's mad! He'd just devour us and the entirety of the council in one fell swoop and take the title of Overlord for himself!"

 Gluttony could only chuckle at these comments before crossing his legs and holding his head up with a hand. "So considerate, my dear Scarly," he said with a smirk. "Buuut you see... there is nothing in it for me. Not even the title of Overlord is worth a damn to me! I just want to eat and eat and eat all I want~!" He paused for a moment and added reluctantly, "I guess the other reason is because I rather not have the Dark Council bother me again."

 "There's your answer," Satoshi said coldly to Scarlet. "Leave it at that. We have no need for anyone like him. Not that I would like to take you with me."

  Scarlet turned to Satoshi and said with  a small smile, "Good on ya to realize I'm gonna be there anyway, Sato. No matter what." She then turned back to Gluttony. "And come on! The Dark Council sending goons after you is like them sending an All You Can Eat Buffet! Surely you can't turn that down, can you?"

  "I don't remember good All You Can Eat Buffets where your food attacked you in droves," grumbled Gluttony.  "So my answer is still no. Tough luck!"

 Scarlet was about to argue some more when everyone heard an explosion. One of the prinnies that were upstairs ran on down, flailing about. "Baaaad news, dood!" it said. "Something's outside, something big! And it's firing at the manor!"

 Scarlet grinned. Tina summoned forth some smaller rifles. Gluttony paled and rushed upstairs, saying something that Satoshi could only assume was a swear.

 Satoshi? His hands began to glow orange, a serious look on his face. He could smell the steel and smoke, smell the familiar scent of battle.

 A warm up before the long war wouldn't hurt, it seemed.

No comments:

Post a Comment