You guys are fortunate that you haven't seen my snarky side yet. Or at least, anybody who isn't RedSpy. Seriously, I can be as deadpan and sarcastic as Erebus sometimes. Especially when riffing on bad fanfics. (Anyone who mentions "My Inner Life" or "My Immortal" will hear anguished cries of sorrow.)
So this one dude, on the way to calculus class, asked me something. I told him my name, he told me his, then he said, "so can I have your number"
My response? "No." Then I walked off and laughed when I heard him say, "Well damn."Sorry, I don't give numbers to people I met five seconds ago. And besides, I'm happy with RedSpy, dammit.
And now my blog has become a mini-hotspot for RPing. Not that I mind, though. Just that things can get a bit cluttered.
Now, for a more in-character moment:
YOU GUYS SMELL THAT? That's the sweet fucking smell of steak cooking in the steakhouse near your bar. I wish I could dine there, but one god decided, "You are FAR too dangerous for the world. You must be sealed!" and trapped me behind the fourth wall in a room filled with Otakus. OTAKUS. Once I break out of this cell, I'm going to bust a cap in his ass and fry him! Goddamn gods, thinking they're all high and mighty. Don't even get me started on Lady Fortuna. She's a REAL bitch.
Also, Snakeface? Get a customized keyboard. And a sturdy ass bed. You're gonna need it.
I am CERTAIN that My Immortal is a stealth trollfic. Someone who would really write that terribly would NOT have the dedication to keep at it in the storm of flames they'd get. They tend to have egos made of candyglass and despite trumpeting DON'T LIKE DON'T READ they will swiftly give up. My Inner Life on the other hand...yeah, probably real. Still, they don't compare to the vileness of The Girl Who Lived.
ReplyDeleteI heard about that and wanted to snark it for my friends' entertainment, but I can't seem to get a good look at it. From what I hear about it on TVTropes, it would probabably make me so sick, I'd want to burn my eyes out for reading it.
ReplyDeleteUuuugh no not The Girl Who Lived.
ReplyDeleteI've heard things about that. REALLY bad things.
I want to snark it.
ReplyDeleteFor great justice ^^
Why would I need a bed? I don't sleep....
ReplyDeleteOnce Garnet is done with you, you'll want to sleep :D
ReplyDelete. . .
ReplyDeleteI think I know why those two wanted me to leave the bar now.
I . . . I need a minute. *Shudder*
Actually, she falls asleep first during the nights in which we hang around each other. Though as I said, I do not sleep, so that's likely why.
ReplyDelete>.>
I honestly think Girl would just depress you, Harpy. It's one thing to write a terrible fanfic, it's another to write something that is essentially your private fantasies...and then there's Girl. It takes a special kind of oblivious asshole to both plagiarize the source material while simultaneously insulting it constantly and without cease. I'd almost swear it was another trollfic...but unfortunately, there ARE far too many people like that. At least I listen when people complain about my preferences.
ReplyDeleteAll I will say is that normally, sheenanigans in bed results in babies, but because you don't have that kind of plumbing...
ReplyDelete(MIL pretty much depressed me because of how horrid it was. Legolas by Laura was hillarious. Now, Girl.... I can't judge until I read it myself.)
Trust me Harpy, you'll probably be happier just shaking your head at the TV Tropes page.
ReplyDeleteI read Cupcakes. How much worse can it POSSIBLY get...?
ReplyDelete*some time later*
OH GOD MY BRAIN EVEN THESE OTAKUS AND THEIR FANFICS ARE BETTER THAN THIS OH GOD
Cupcakes is just "LET'S BE AS HORRIFICALLY VIOLENT AS POSSIBLE". I could do that if I wanted. Girl is just...sneering, blind egotism of the worst sort. You can't say I didn't warn you.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, compare the offical Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars novel and the fanfic version. The fanfic is miles ahead in quality. Jesus, some of the the tripe that gets put out as game novels nowadays is sickening.
ReplyDelete